what was that? is that all there is? who is this? this is it.

pilderwasser unlimited T-shirts  pilder what? kickstand P know knew spew snap shots autoBIKEography RAGBRAI  slide shows phot-o-rama stationary-a-gogo 1/2 x 3/32 links

Kenny G

December 30, 2018

no feet ma look

December 26, 2018

ho ho bro

December 20, 2018

20 years ago today, Devlin took my camera and took this photo and fucking millennials cannot geek out and check the exact time and gps coordinates of the photo because it was black & white film in a real live camera before 9-11 when large office building lobbies had life size santa statues and not security guards in ill fitting blue blazers and oversized grey pants. 

20 years later I'm wearing the same outfit except I ditched the Sidis because there is no reason to clip-in for the ride from Benson Hall to Bagley Hall and I traded that sweet Pearl Izumi national champ jacket --that I like to think was Rebecca Twigg's and she ditched all her stars & stripes after the 96 Olympics in a fit of rage and that jacket ended up at the Chicken Soup thrift store on the hill where I purchased it for $5 nwt -- for a Tuborg jersey at the CMWC philadelphia.

20 years and more of messengers bags and I had one T2 and one PAC and six DANK bags that I wore the shit out of lowering my right shoulder several centimeters hauling around legal documents and six packs of tall boys but that's Ortlieb in the photo and there's Ortlieb on my back as we speak 

 


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kickstand you got loose and I threw up

December 19, 2018

i'm not angry, i'm disappointed

December 14, 2018

Jan Heine photo bro

Once upon a time in a small nonprofit bike shop warehouse I refurbished 1,987 used bikes and stripped or recycled or hacksawed into cheater bars many thousands more.  When I replaced the cables and housing on a bike I also replaced the straddle cables. When the inventory of straddle cables ran out I would use a brake cable. Just like I do on my own bikes. However I soon stopped cutting this corner on the job when the shop mechanics told me of customer complaints claiming they couldn’t get their wheels off because they couldn’t release their brakes because they couldn’t get a grip on the straddle cable because it was actually just a brake cable and had no place to grab on.

 

The other day after a day of riding in the rain I met my old lady for a couple beers and then she offered me a ride home. I said hell yes I’ll take a ride up the hill. I walked my bike over to the car and started to take off the front wheel so I could fit the thing in the hatchback over the kid seats but I couldn’t release the front brake. I couldn’t get the fucking straddle cable out. All I could hear was Steve Maluk’s voice saying “don’t do that” with Homer and Kellen in the background frowning and shaking their heads.  

 

I ended up riding my bike home.

 

I plan to continue to use an old brake cable to straddle my cantilever brakes when I replace the cables on my own bikes. I recently replaced my brake pads on my daily commuter and the brakes are so tight right now even with the finest straddle cable in the world there’s not enough slack to release the calipers. But in a couple weeks there will be.

 


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"i'm nervous and my socks are too loose"

December 13, 2018

the paint splat has been there for a while the words were added recently

it's the little things

 


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the ubiquitous red keg cup

December 12, 2018

these two were in my living room the other day holding green keg cups and I didn't take a photo to re-enact the moment-of-yesteryear so I could compare and contrast and win on instagram. what i did do is keep my phone in my pocket and actually talk to people so you now have to visualize these two plus or minus 10 years holding green keg cups.

same as it ever was. 


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you kiddin me?

December 12, 2018

white noise

December 11, 2018

they're just background noise to the untrained eye. 

but once you see them you cannot unsee them.

they're everywhere. 

 

this kid has an eye for them.

he found this one on the Cedar River Trail


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can you feel it?

December 7, 2018

Alexa, what happened to Seattle?

December 7, 2018

wouldn't be December without this photo

its 13th annual posting bro 

 


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tie goes to the runner

December 7, 2018

'round the corner chocolate's made

you think it's kinda funny but it's really

more like irritable bowel syndrome

ok google   how do you spell diarrhea?

impulse control

auto correct

is that for here?

or    to  go

start seeing Raleigh Techniums

they're out there 

he has the attention span of a

what were we talking about


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three - nine ± 5

November 30, 2018

i remember your golden birthday like it was yesterday


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where's the cup holder?

November 27, 2018

If you don't know what you're talking about

A. talk louder

B. make something up

C. crack a joke

D. shut the fuck up 

 

the correct answer is D

 

15 years ago this multiple choice question appeared in an issue of kickstand.

Flapjack was 14 when that issue came out so he never got the memo. But now I'm working with him each and everyday trying to teach him that sometimes it's ok to shut the fuck up. 

 

 

well I said it once before   but it bears repeating   now

 

 

 


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it's the distraction from the petty details of everyday living

November 27, 2018

ode to the asspocket U-lock

November 20, 2018

aren't you glad I didn't say analog bike? 

here's to parking meters. handy bike racks installed every 50 feet.  Never completely taken over by chuffers or office workers out for a smoke. 

U-lock around the headtube & the parking meter post = good to go.

there aren't many parking meters in Seattle these days and that's ok because I don't have a headtube and I don't go downtown. 

 


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Marty

November 16, 2018

priceless

November 13, 2018

I'm not sure who took this photo in 2018 but I know that guy and there's been a lot of photo shoots and press releases and blah blahing about the final 50 fucking feet and sustainability and the what not but I want to see that thing --half stationary bike - half tractor trailer-- actually working in downtown Seattle. 

be careful what you wish for Long Island City  

Andy Voight took this photo of that guy at CMWC in September of 2003 and this is how it appeared on the inside cover of kickstand #17 in January 2004.

15 years later   Jake is wearing the same gloves. 


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fleet

November 8, 2018

the entire fleet is now rolling with Profile Design which as you know is the bottle cage designed for seamless transitions along the coffee-beer continuum.

All six of the cup holders above were once donated to a small nonprofit bike shop in 98118 and now they're rolling all around 98195. Thanks to Steve G and Bike Works. 


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whiff

November 7, 2018

 

those in the know   know

the unmistakable smells in the last week of July

and the importance of living a little RAGBRAI in daily life

but they don't call them Honey Buckets in Iowa

 

 


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riding in the margins of utility

November 5, 2018

 

same as it ever was: the ultimate urban utility bike is any old fucking thing you ride to work everyday

 


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orchestral manoeuvres in the dark

October 31, 2018

karma karma karma karma karma

October 29, 2018

as your eye is drawn to those culture club crank skins then to that 853 tubes sticker please take a moment to take in the profile design cup holder. 

easy-peasy if your colors were like my dreams  red, gold and green   red, gold and green.

i'm president of the profile design cup holders club and i approve this message


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like a rock

October 24, 2018

it was cool until it wasn't

October 18, 2018

it’s not better       it just

sucks in a different way

 

the solution is

now another problem

 

the tire liner    eventually

slices into the inner tube

 

preventing 7 little punctures

causing  one big   laceration

 

limited range of motion

repetitive use injury

 

pessimistic prophylaxis

psychosomatic    reality

 

it was cool   until it wasn’t

then    it wasn’t cool

 

habitrails rote routes

played out

 

mixtape memorized

end of song cues the next

 

it’s all in your mind

 

not in album-order

in hand-written cassette cover order

 


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Mr fingerprints off glass door wiper

October 17, 2018

sedentary legal messenger flashback


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outside looking out

October 16, 2018

or something like that

hollow idle chit chat

 

between

 

have a good weekend??

have a good weekend.

 


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10-9-18

October 9, 2018

every city

every year

every messenger

not every jimmy john

no uber eats

 

happy birthday to 87. 

he looked 35 when he was 19 and now I've lost track of how old he really is.


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matriculating matriculation

October 3, 2018

i see 

young lions

step into the street

staring at their phones

and i wonder if

it's wisdom

they lack

 

 

 

GPA 3.78 + ACT 29 = clueless

 


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older lions i see

September 27, 2018

i  see

older  lions 

on  the

street  and

wonder  if

they  have

a  wisdom

i  lack.


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balance

September 24, 2018

ask me about work - life balance

ask me about people-magazine-parenting advice

ask me about tattoos across the tendons in the wrist


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social media horseshit

September 19, 2018

click here for chance to win a $25 starbucks gift card


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tooth fairy

September 13, 2018

eight years ago today I set down my nextel and walked away

but      ask me about teeth

incoming and outgoing 


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let's roll

September 11, 2018

three orange whips

September 10, 2018

When I was a kid my mom took us in a ‘71 Monte Carlo on a road trip to Seattle and then all the way up into British Columbia almost to Alaska and back down and around. Stopping along the way in various hotels and restaurants. I was fond of collecting sugar packets from one and depositing them in another. Taking them out of context and putting them back in     somewhere else down the road.

 

I’m still a big fan of repurposing things retrofitting or flipping it sideways and making an end table out of it. I like road signs in living rooms. I like collections of toaster ovens in surplus piles. I like to make artwork from hundreds of discarded bike computers. I really like free piles on the side of the road and I like to shop in thrift stores.

 

The other Saturday I saw this shirt hanging in a thrift store. It was already placed on the end of the rack which is the only reason I noticed it.

 

The only thing cooler than that is spotting a shirt that I made moving around on a complete stranger.

 milkshake photo

 

 


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titular

September 6, 2018

President Emeritus of the Profile Design Cup Holder Club 


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ask me ask me ask me

September 5, 2018

ask me about my bottom bracket

ask me about my sweater vest

ask me about a 16" tire exploding in the garage when nobody is home to hear it and if it makes a sound

 


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shimmed out with a Milwaukee's Best Ice can

August 29, 2018

Are you my Uber?

August 21, 2018

Did you hear the one about the bike messenger

 

wearing layers when it’s cooler outside and as the day or activity warmed up he’d shed a layer or two then add one as needed.

 

Layer upon layer of black. He’d step into an elevator dressed in black and take off two layers before the mezzanine  exiting still all in black. Like a birthday party clown trick. He kept taking off layers and no matter how you sliced it he was dressed in black.



Did you hear the one about the former bike messenger

 

Now a crusty commuter he still dresses in layers some of them black rolling into work and at work he’s sporting branded apparel approved by the trademarks and licensing office some of it black rolling around on an electric assist cargo bike provided by the large government-run organization. On cooler rainy days he may have up to 4 layers on and he can still do the birthday party clown trick shedding one or two and they keep coming up with that W on the left breast.  



Did you hear the one about the Uber driver

 

That stopped in the middle of a 4-way stop intersection effectively blocking all traffic without a hint of a warning to unload passengers from 3 doors

 

It was a disgusting example of where we are today

 

and then

 

A conservatively dressed older woman on an E-Lime bike bombed through the gridlock at full speed downhill slicing in and out of it all like a seasoned pro messenger. She completely owned it. And that made me smile and feel a just a little bit better about where we are.





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don't sweat the horseshit

August 15, 2018

the disparity

between talk talked and walk walked

 

has always

bothered me

 

the news headlines spoon fed me

could be an entire Joy Williams story

 

but in the context of fiction it’d be ok

to feel slightly off in a different way

 

whoever packed the plastic family

gave me two grandpas and no grandma

 

packed not by weight not by volume

but by the number of family members

 

 


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between two slices of bread

August 13, 2018

my old lady says potato salad sandwiches are not normal

I guess I would agree but they do come in handy 


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long stretches of boredom punctuated by periods of extreme boredom

August 3, 2018

boredom is a hallmark holiday

somewhere along renewal or decay

equidistant between Rainier and MLK


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I used to work in Chicago

August 1, 2018

Steve G photo 

Playing a little rugby at the finest liberal arts school in the country I sang that song with beer in hand while earning an anthropology degree to be put to use immediately in the food service industry then later used as a bike messenger later still at a small carbon fiber wheel manufacturer housed in an old Wallingford bakery heavily influenced by the aerospace industry followed soon after by a small nonprofit community bike shop in an old house in Columbia City.

 

I used to work in Chicago in an old department store.

I used to work at Mad Fiber   I don’t work there anymore.

I used to work at Bike Works I don't work there anymore. 

 

Yesterday Steve sent me this visual of a recent donation at Bike Works maybe you saw it on instagram like 18 hours ago but it brings back memories of sitting on a stool in a windowless room with semiadequate ventilation hunched over a Mad Fiber wheel that looked exactly like the last wheel and exactly like the next wheel grinding away with a dremel tool in hand wearing two pairs of gloves goggles ear protection and a respirator huffing acetone and carbon dust for 8 hours a day.

There's a very good chance that I bonded those spokes to those hub shells and or ground out the valve hole and cleaned up the over flowing super duper super glue and then wiped it all down with a shop rag drenched in acetone. 


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ofo you didn't -- v 2.0

July 31, 2018

undular bore

July 24, 2018

out of nowhere

or right on schedule

 

ONE WAY

or another

 

a minor setback

or a series of physical challenges

 

microaggressions

password protected arbitrary deadlines

 

feats of strength

proving grounds

 

slights

disses

 

close calls

oblivious third party near misses

 

undular bores

momentary lapses

 

as 33 John would say

“I ran into   a bit of a snag”

 


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slow boat

July 19, 2018

the other Tuesday I picked up a rather large box out in the 98115 and to bring it back into 98195 I used two long bungee cords to strap it on top of the cargo box. Rolling south I visualzed wind tunnel testing a cargo bike with a stack of boxes on top and it felt like this

that's not the Kirsten I had a crush on in high school that's Frederick Kirsten

finally, in conclusion, because I'm into product placement, brand recognition, consumer loyalty and buying locally I'd like to draw your attention to that slow boat water bottle from the Slow Boat Tavern in the heart of Hilman City. 


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pilderwhatever

July 18, 2018

 

I know a guy that knows a guy that organized a RAGBRAI-like little bike ride somewhere in the Chicagoland area and named his group pilderwhatever. 

 


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cable routing changes sunglasses stay the same

July 17, 2018

the severity of the disparity

July 12, 2018

Darwin's Conjecture

Darwin
was desperate
for proof
that animals wept.
It wasn’t enough
that houseflies hum
in the key of F
or that Dall sheep keep
lifelong their horns,
adding like trees
a ring each year.
Darwin wanted tears.

Being the only
species that weeps
was lonely,
thought Darwin,
dreaming
of manic animals.
No, it wasn’t enough
that honey bees
can count to four.
Darwin wanted more.

Or less.
Confess it—
the reason why
humans cry
is the mess
they fashion
in comparison to
the paradise
they can imagine.
Animals, if
they imagine,
must be less
distressed
by the severity
of the disparity.
Or maybe they have 
less disparity.
Or less mess.

As to why
Darwin hoped
that animals cry
we can only guess—
which is a form
of imagining,
and could lead
to the emergence
of tears. Instead 
let us hum
in the key of F
and count to four
or more.
Or less,
and know
the aurora borealis
as glimpsed through
the fretwork of 
a construction crane
is a metaphor
for our brain
and also an analogy
for why we cry,
all the while—
like Darwin—
humming against
the immensity.




—Jessica Goodfellow

 

I read this on the Sheena Easton train printed on the acid-free archival-quality paper of The Threepenny Review and it changed my day


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it's important to take a moment, stop and smell the hairspray

July 10, 2018

summer time rolls XLIX

July 9, 2018

spectral analysis

July 6, 2018

on the spectrum

 

this phrase gets tossed around these days and I think it’s funny because I’m on the spectrum

 

we’re all on some spectrum because there’s a spectrum for everything

 

Melanin

Melatonin

Serotonin

Sarah Palin

 

there’s a spectrum for color into the absence of color

light or the absence of light

 

masculinity

facial hair brow ridge sagittal crest knuckle dragging

 

awkward socially to silky smooth any situationally

back slapping hand shaking small talking  

 

horseshitting

 

there’s a spectrum for everyfuckingthing

 

the super recognizers you’ve read about on one end of the facial-recognition spectrum with the face-blind people at the other end

 

there are people like Stevil that can’t tell you what day it is or make plans involving a calendar on one end of the perpetual calendar spectrum while on the other extreme there are people that can tell you what day of the week your birthday will fall on in 2027 as well as what day of the week you were born back back back then in that year that you were born

 

There are people that use a highlighter to cross things out and a paragraph later use it again to highlight things and they expect you to know what they mean if you know what I mean

 

There are people that input an exact time into the microwave to reheat their lunch in the breakroom and there are people that eat their food at room temperature with a smile

taken out of context

and put back in 

again

twice removed


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Erma Bombeck Would Do What (EBWDW)

July 6, 2018

this made its way to me via Matt Case

the grass is always greener in Portland over the septic tank


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Le Tour

July 2, 2018

right-swing left-swing

June 27, 2018

20 years ago I poached this from Mudflap and reprinted it in one of the first issues of kickstand

For about 15 years as a commuter and a messenger I wore a bag on my right shoulder. Always on my right shoulder. From T2 to PAC to DANK with a brief interlude to an Ortlieb backpack and some legal messenger time with a DANK backpack I'd say 14 of those 15 years a one-strap bag was tugging on my right shoulder wearing holes in the right side of my shirts and jackets altering my skeletal system and the muscles that support it. 

7.5 years ago I stopped wearing a one-shoulder bag but my right shoulder is still noticeably lower than my left and my right hip is noticeably higher than my left. 

20 years later this cartoon speaks to me in a new way.  


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books reviews

June 25, 2018

 A Walk Across America   by Peter Jenkins

Dr 37 Mike gave me this book a couple three years ago and now that I’m a commuter zombie with some sitdown time built into my day I’ve finally read it.  it’s pertnear 40 years old but I feel like it makes more sense than ever in these horseshit times we live in today these times of instant tap swipe gratification where’s my uber where’s my jimmy john where’s my amazon fresh. When news is only news for 24 seconds. Calm the fuck down and harden the fuck up.  go for a walk from upstate New York to New Orleans in a pair of Chuck Taylors with a badass dog and a backpack.

 

Universal Harvester   by John Darnielle

I got this book for my birthday it's a novel that takes place in and around a video store in Nevada, Iowa in the late 1990’s. so right off the bat I was hooked because I’ve been to Nevada and I know how to pronounce it and actually I’ve been to a lot of towns in Iowa and I really appreciate the Iowa landscape and references in the book.  In addition I’ve lived through the be-kind-rewind years and I remember the look and feel of VHS tapes and video stores and VCRs.  This book is a VHS sized paperback packed in a plastic VHS case. It’s perfect light-rail reading in a durable versatile package.

 

 

You Think It, I’ll Say it  by Curtis Sittenfeld

I got this book at my local library it's a collection of short stories some of which you’ve probably already read in the New Yorker. I’m a big fan of a story that can take me some place I’ve never been or someplace I go all the time but I thought I was the only one that hung out there until I read of a character that goes there too and and and all that and more happens in 20 pages or less. These stories are amazing like you put the book down and the characters are in your mind like you’re not sure if you met them at a party or went to high school with them or it was just a vivid dream.

 


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popsicles

June 19, 2018

if you need a coozie for your otter pop grab a DANK

if you can't reach that high grab a Bob Anderton 


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you say tomato I say kybo

June 16, 2018

2 West Roy Street

June 14, 2018

YOU ARE HERE

June 9, 2018

fast-map

2' x 2' laminated

custom made   in-house

 

a rolling infomation kiosk like one big bundle of answers on wheels. these maps were my idea a couple months back when I was getting lots of questions about buildings located on campus. this week the maps were finished and installed on the entire fleet of bikes although one rider removed his map after only a few minutes of riding because of the glare bouncing off the map and up into his eyeballs.

yesterday I narrowly missed the opportunity to photograph a man taking a photograph of the map on my bike. 

 


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non drive side pant leg not rolled up

June 8, 2018

bike of the month

StumpJumper with 24" wheels

didn't get to speak with the owner before he rode away but he appeared to be old enough to vote but too young to buy beer


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via bicycle

June 1, 2018

brad

May 30, 2018

those who know don't say

May 22, 2018

 

into and out of existence
less is more 
everything you need
 nothing you don’t 
those who say don’t know
those who know don’t say
it’s the same on the weekend
as the rest of the days 
radiating from   or   contracting to 
the original source 
it won’t go away 
it will only change shape
from nothingness to nothingness
between renewal and decay
somewhere along the way
  anywhere   nowhere  everywhere

 

 

 

 

that photo was taken today but those words were sequenced in 2009

I was in New Jersey the other day and my dad - my biological father read those words aloud and brought them to fresh spot in my brain as I didn't make them up I just strung them together nine or ten years ago. 

I'm not sure how long that phone booth has been there or how long it will continue to be there but the phone still works and please make your check payable to US West Communications and make sure the address reads clearly through the envelope window. 


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stand by

May 17, 2018

he'd like to lift us up but we're a very heavy load

May 14, 2018

 

On a bike your consciousness is small. The harder you work, the smaller it gets. Every thought that arises is immediately and utterly true, every unexpected event is something you’d known all along but had only forgotten for a moment. A pounding riff from a song a bit of long division that starts over and over, a magnified anger at someone, is enough to fill your thoughts.

 

-Tim Krabbe, The Rider  p33


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May 12

May 12, 2018

21 years later I'm a rookie again


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handi ramps

May 11, 2018

it's like writing a story with formal constraints

not to the Doug Nufer-level but from the perspective of an average urban cyclist hopping on a cargo bike with an 8 foot wheel base and 200lbs of cargo you can't just hop that curb and run up those 5 stairs and lean it against the window while you drop that package.

but when you try to see it from the perspective of an average urban delivery driver in a giant truck  hopping on a cargo bike opens up a lot of new possibilities between the streets there are plenty of handi ramps bike paths sidewalks and gravel trails


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hyperbolic discounting aka current moment bias

May 8, 2018

while it is important to work a little RAGBRAI into your daily life, please submit your vacation requests 18 months in advance


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white shoes before Memorial Day

May 7, 2018

a wise woman once said,  the days are long but the years are short

yes    yes they are

she also said,  there's more than one way to get to Safeway and she wasn't referring to the travelling salesman problem but she could have been


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grown men in short pants

May 2, 2018

moving forward looking back

healthy respect for what it was

 

changes perspectives on what it is

I went to high school with 50% of those guys


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synchronized analog clocks

May 1, 2018

a classic example

shadow of the photographer in the frame jibber jabber

 


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read a book Read a Book

April 25, 2018

check out your local librar


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optimization

April 24, 2018

it's a working model of The Travelling Salesman Problem each day out there with results presented in real time and if seat covers could talk this one would have some stories to tell as safety measures have been put in place by designers brogrammers and developers to prevent such things from happening please keep in mind the manual override option to reintroduce the potential for human error once in while as the weather warms cycling money back into the cycling economy all along the I-5 corridor I need another one of these and another one of these and couple of these in the 2018 Pantone color of the year


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between Jimmy John & John Forester

April 21, 2018

with some discussion of vehicular cycling in a previous post Alistair sent me a copy of the letter Roger Durham wrote to VeloNews in 1982 that was  then reprinted in the Rivendell Reader in 1995. Durham's letter sums it up and says it better than I can say it myself. 

when you google "the Roger Durham letter to VeloNews" you can find all kinds of discussion and cyclists yelling at each other, saying things like "you're making us all look bad" which I feel is a bunch of horseshit.

Durham is right on when he says watch how bike messengers flow through the city and learn how to limit your exposure time. 


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hella plausible deniability

April 18, 2018

 

I have a vague recollection of the events in question but without sufficient information I can neither confirm nor deny any allegations

 

 

 

when I was your age 12-packs of the Beast were $3.69 and full-on kegs were $27 at McNally's 

 


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"now entering period of maximum constraint, doors to my right"

April 13, 2018

as founder and president of the profile design cup holders club the addition of this bottle cage to the work bike makes it more functional and personal and versatile. as you know these bottle cages cover any situation no matter where you find yourself on the coffee-beer continuum.

 

what would John Forester do?

blurring the line between vehicular cycling and jimmy johns 

John Forester never rode a souped-up electric assist purple haze cargo bike with an 8' long wheel base around a college campus full of winding roads, slick bricks, dirt trails, side paths and loading docks sprinkled with 40,000 undergrads looking at their phones.  while the jimmy johns tear it up I smile and continue on in a safe and predictable manner monday through friday. 


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lux sit

April 11, 2018

spitting distance from a stones throw away

let there be light on the Latin via Greek 

it's a deluxe place to sit down after work


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accessorization

April 9, 2018

we appreciate your attention to detail

when we say we     we mean me

i'd like to draw your attention to the zero-seven t-shirt


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rookie

April 6, 2018

I'm sore and tired and hungry and clueless like a rookie


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now & then +/- 10 years

April 3, 2018

gottagotowork gottagotowork gotta have a job

March 27, 2018

I got a job. a job-job. for real really. it's been a while.  I'll tell you about it some day in person because you don't need to download the app to read about it. 

that electric assist Bullitt with the box on top is painted in the 2018 Pantone Color of the Year. it's all coming together. 

this could be the only G & O sticker in the 98178

 


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this is your last free article

March 26, 2018

 plywood period #3

March 25, 2018

like it's 1999

 

 

 

 

 

 

in other fake news you now need to create an account in order to view this site and with your new account you can download the pilderwasser app and login with facebook from any device


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the uncorker of ocean bottles

March 20, 2018

Processed with Snapseed.

I have read a lot of childrens books in the last 7 years. a lot a lot and not a lot of adult books but this is the first book that takes on the issues of washed-up bike messengers. 

look for it at your local library. or buy it from Powells Books and then gift it to a 4 - 8 year old kid

The Uncorker of Ocean Bottles


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old school

March 18, 2018

one of the guys at DANK bags complained about the prominent product placement of a Bob Anderton coozie in a previous post so I took this photo of one of the very first DANK coozies ever made sitting on a LYON barstool made in Aurora, IL with a plywood seat cover made right here at pw hq. 

when you get old you don't need to go out of your way to be old school. 

no matter where you are on the coffee-beer continuum

silkscreening on plywood is pretty painterly


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phantom nostalgia syndrome

March 15, 2018

invitation songs

March 9, 2018

 

it’s like the Cave Singers unmistakably coming through the sounds of 24 auto-flush urinals in the mens room at Sea-Tac airport

 

it’s the voice of reason speaking directly to me as I stared at a small turtle mowing on an overripe banana on a bed of lettuce in an aquarium in a pet store in the Sunset Square mall in Bellingham in 1993 that voice that voice that voice was telling me to live life now and not work at a job that sucks for 30 years with all eyes on retirement crossing off days on the calendar counting down the time to when I could really enjoy life

 

crossroads   not that mall in Bellevue  actual crossroads

 

real fucking forks in the road

 

clearly see now I can

 

retrospectively

 

life changing decisions

 

seemed like a good idea at the time

 

choices    choosy   choose me

 

goal disoriented 

 

the absence of a decision is a decision 

 

like the absence of hairstyle is a hairstyle

 


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neo retro so six years ago

March 8, 2018

same time different day

February 26, 2018

it's  still  not really about the bike but I'm not worried about the transom window anymore although the coils and coils of coaxial cable deadheaded get my attention and the pockets of urban decay surrounded by urban renewal are like little oasi where it's ok to wear the wrong shoes and have a bad haircut


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strange situation protocol

February 25, 2018

whatever will be will be

so said Eddie Money 

 

am is are was were can could shall should will would may might must has have had do does did been being

be

 

rote memorization

junior high pays off finally

 

wire monkey

cloth monkey

 

Ich bin

Du bist

 

if it was meant to be

it will be

 

wash rinse sanitize

intellectualize

 

anthropomorphize

realize the dog saw it coming years before western medicine had a clue

 


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come stand me up

February 20, 2018

two kids walk out of the library

dad says, "why the long face?"

just another bike share bike photo

 


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precious cargo

February 15, 2018

one of the guys down at DANK bags sent me this interesting photo of a silver minivan             and Craig Etheridge on a cargo bike.    If you're on instagram you know this is so 24 hours ago. But the last time Ash Wednesday and Valentine's Day fell on the same day there was no instagram but there were bicycles in dense urban areas delivering the goods. 


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controlled demolition

February 12, 2018

when I say controlled demolition you say Silverstein and I say yes but this is the other Silverstein and go ahead borrow my bike awhile we may not be on the same page today but we'll all get there eventually

 

 

Monsters I’ve Met

I met a ghost, but he didn’t want my head,

He only wanted to know the way to Denver.

I met a devil, but he didn’t want my soul,

He only wanted to borrow my bike awhile.

I met a vampire, but he didn’t want my blood,

He only wanted two nickels for a dime.

I keep meeting all the right people --

At all the wrong times.

 

--Shel Silverstein

 


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if you lived here you'd be home by now XXXIX

February 9, 2018

93 used to say this site is just a bunch of 39 photos   

here's another one 

because anyone reading this is within one degree of 39

if I was on instagram this would be so 48 hours ago with a comment about posting photos with one hand in my pocket and the other one giving a peace sign


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¿cómo se dice? lather rinse repeat

February 6, 2018

 

I'd like to think this Bullitt is wearing the 2018 PANTONE color of the year

Image result for pantone 18-3838


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any given sunday

February 1, 2018

all four of these bikes remind me of the BikeWorks warehouse inventory any given Sunday     except they're only open on Saturday these days

treading water on an endless stream of incoming dumpster donations pulling bike after bike from a tangled mess


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sugar sugar

January 30, 2018

high fructose corn syrup

it's not fake news

State of the Union = 02 + 35 + 27 

 


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fast friday

January 25, 2018

the feelings a mediocre pizza cutter can evoke...

perhaps 10 or 12 years isn't enough time passing to comment on historic significance. so for now I have no comment but in 2028 I'll have something to say. until then I will not be cutting any pizza with this thing.

ditch the drop bar and hack a riser bar down to 9" then spray paint the front wheel 

 


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snipe hunt

January 22, 2018

some kind of a joke making progress towards some unattainable ideal talking to myself at the bus stop when I realize this isn’t a bus stop and I’m not making much progress riding a stationary bike watching CNN receiving compliments as well as criticism for the exact same thing what’s the difference it depends on your point of view

 


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RCW 66.44.250

January 20, 2018

that's Andy Friday in the hiking boots. found this photo as I sorted through all my old photos of messengers drinking beer in "public"

a little bird told me that a couple messengers were given open container citations yesterday at this very spot. as Seattle grows at a record pace and thousands and thousands more people are wedged into the city, it seems to me that a messenger drinking a beer would be the lowest of the low priorities and I'm sure the interim police chief has bigger fish to fry. 


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there goes the screen door slamming shut

January 15, 2018

it's not about the bike it's about the transom window

it's about coils and coils of coaxial cable deadheaded in the gutter

it's about urban decay     nature taking over

it's rat traps and paint chips 

it's moss vs pressure washer

it's urban renewal and street level retail

when it is about the bike it's about the Ritchey Force stem and the Ritchey Logic cranks and the really old steel frame and it's always going to be about thumb shifters but  it's never going to be about hydraulic disc brakes 

 


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Alexa, ask me about my learned helplessness

January 8, 2018

wouldn't want your job on a day like this

January 5, 2018

please take a moment to locate the pilderwasser sticker nearest you. keep in mind it may be behind you.

January 2, 2018

Chris Murray sent me this photo and I have some recollection of the events in question but I don't even know if he took it. however, since 2005 he has taken a shit load of RAGBRAI photos and maybe he saw me put up a shot of Dan from 2006 yesterday and felt like maybe I needed a dose of 2017. in any case he emailed it to me. my first two RAGBRAIs I didn't own a cellphone and Chris let me borrow his to call home a few times. 


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too much is never enough

January 1, 2018

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