the first stage is denial
June 29, 2022

A couple weeks ago beer from the kegerator was pouring extra foamy and a bit warm & flat. So I checked the thermostat and the CO2 and the heft of the keg and then drank it anyway. Denial. The next day I poured one for my old lady and it was the same tepid foamy flat froth. She was a bit more skeptical. I wanted to drink it anyway but it sucked.
I checked on the kegerator again and it was humming a weak sound but nowhere near cold, barely hanging on. It was not a beer issue but a refrigeration issue. Like Georgetown prints right at the top of their cans “please refrigerate. warm beer sucks”
It was like a beloved family pet, a trusty companion, always there to greet me at the door. After 12 years, it’s hard to let go. They say the first stage in the grief process is denial. And I agree with that as I’m slowly moving through the stages and processing it all.
The first couple years were all Elysian. Pony kegs schlepped on a bike trailer just up a hill to the CD. Full kegs from friend’s cars. Then...
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Posted at: 10:05 AM | 0 Comments | Add Comment | Permalink
this & that too shall pass
June 27, 2022

Conk photo
my family went to Coeur d’Alene
and all I got
was this T-shirt tan
and COVID
but this too shall pass
in & out of Idaho
I will refrain from talking too much shit about Eastern Washington / Northern Idaho. I grew up there in the heart of the Inland Empire, which entitles me to a bit of shit talking. But I haven’t spent any real time there for 35 years. This recent visit was an eye opener in a suburban sprawl way as one incorporated “city” has glommed into the next in a continuous monumental ode to the automobile with a particular emphasis on big big trucks, vans, suburbans and SUVs. With plenty of parking for everyone. Plenty of parking.
34 years ago a little amusement park opened on a 400 acre plot in Athol and it has grown and grown and grown. Fast forward to last week and that Big Amusement Park was the reason for our little visit. Here there’s a strong correlation with contracting COVID 2.5 years into this whole virus thing. But that’s another story.
day 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5…
what day is it?
Posted at: 07:06 PM | 2 Comments | Add Comment | Permalink
this too shall-should pass
June 19, 2022

is that all there is?
oh no no
there’s more
where that came from
until further notice
never came
that was what
six feet looked like
you must have
been mistaken
you must have
confused me
with someone
who gives a shit
you must have
has had
been being be
am is are
was were
will would
can could this too
shall should pass
Posted at: 06:41 PM | 2 Comments | Add Comment | Permalink
conduct unbecoming
June 17, 2022
S cargo
June 15, 2022

Sitting at a red light on the Burke-Gilman crossing the Ave staring into space waiting expectorating anticipating more waiting when this sticker on a signpost caught my eye just enough for me to pluck it off and take a closer look.
I ride a Bullitt around the U-district all day schlepping amazon packages their final fifty fucking feet.
But what if you rode a Bullitt around the U-district all day with a single super sized silicone spermatozoon strapped to the cargo bed with see through cellophane straps? Its long tail slithering in the seat stays subconsciously suggesting motility and more marketing mumbo jumbo. Wearing a snazy sperm bank uniform and matching helmet. Toting a satchel full of promotional items, aka plastic crap to distribute: key chains, bottle openers, pens, pencil toppers, chapstick, QR coded silicone sperm stress balls, beanies, face masks, hand sanitizers, carabiners, tire levers, water bottles, fidget toys, rubber duckies, slap bracelets and sunglasses.
Be careful what you wish for.
Posted at: 05:39 AM | 2 Comments | Add Comment | Permalink
get in the drops, dig deeper
June 14, 2022
metaphysics of quality of life issue
June 10, 2022

He’s the guy waiting in a hotel room in Bozeman, waiting for the OEM parts to arrive from Germany so the local shop can fix his BMW.
I’m the guy that shimmed it out with a beer can and rode away yesterday.
Posted at: 05:48 AM | 2 Comments | Add Comment | Permalink
Junior Junior Hella Hella
June 9, 2022

There are only two shirts like this in the world. As we speak, I’m wearing one and the other one is in the mail, on its way to PDX. Both shirts still smell like thriftstore because they are Costco castoffs from the original owner repurposed recycled redirected regurgitated.
Hella Hella
Messing around on old thriftstore shirts inspires inspiration. The next hella hella shirts will be vertical instead of horizontal in a horticultural agricultural sculptural way, recognizable to a select few. You know.

Those in the know, know that Steve is the OG Hella Corndog and he's the reason I burned the Hella screen for a Corndog Classic in whatever broken-sternum year that was, 20ish years ago… …and that’s why that shirt is on its way to PDX for one of the guys down at DANK bags. I don’t have any photos from that Hella Corndog but visualize Monorail Kevin and then ask Kittleson.
There may be a few of those original T-shirts still kicking. When I say kicking I mean hermetically sealed in a safety deposit box at 701 5th. Squirrel’s kid may or may not be wearing one right now, I’m told. But the silk...
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Posted at: 05:28 AM | 0 Comments | Add Comment | Permalink
resistance is futile bro
June 7, 2022

slap dash
pell mell
glycogen stores
closed until
further notice
stand by
hurry up
and wait
high fructose
corn syrup
nonfat decaf
milquetoast latte
tax deductible
wealthy donor
athletic supporter
jock itch
long covid
lung butter
well placed
snot rocket
post nasal
drip dripping
left sleeve
slug trail
glistening in
morning light
members only
order operations
Herbert Walker
Bush League
inside job
controlled demolition
hip dysplasia
inbred purebred
resistance is
futile bro
don’t take
it personally
barking up
wrong tree
misdirected energy
Hella Hella
clockwork like
like clockwork
golden ratio
just so
these shoes
rule <-> suck
protected bikelane
placebo effect
single use
throw away
chuck down
dental pick
swisher sweet
throw back
not not
my backyard
cable actuated
class clown
cherry pick
gold brick
authentic handbuilt
retrofit replica
verisimilitude dude
front butt
acid reflux
blue tooth
whiter whites
fresh breath
phantom nostalgia
psychosomatic syndrome
ass pocket
U lock
ass out
you me
keep frown
upside down
final fifty
fucking feet...
Posted at: 11:13 AM | 5 Comments | Add Comment | Permalink
throwback thursday
June 6, 2022

Todd Gallaher photo bro
Posted at: 05:41 AM | 2 Comments | Add Comment | Permalink