a quality of life issue

pilderwasser unlimited T-shirts  pilder what? kickstand P knew spew snap shots autoBIKEography RAGBRAI  slide shows phot-o-rama stationary-a-gogo 1/2 x 3/32 links

the bike messenger did not completely kill the fax machine

December 29, 2017

i think this is a Tyler Goldsmith photo

yesterday I received an email  from a person in Omaha with a document attached (pdf) asking for my original signature (in ink) and a return in one of a variety of ways. 

I was proud of myself for riding my bike to a public library to print the document on actual paper so I could sign it with a ballpoint pen and take a picture of it so I could email it back to Omaha as an attachment (jpg)  I sent the email and soon got a response that a photo of the document would not cut it could I please scan it and email it or fax it to Omaha. fax. fax it. fax machine. It's been nearly 20 years since I fed document into a fax machine and nearly a year since I worked close enough to office workers to print sign scan email a document. the 19 year old legal messenger in me wanted to take the hypotenuse and hand deliver the actual paper with my original signature to the address in Seattle instead of faxing it to Omaha so they could email it back to Seattle but in my old age I realized this would kind of fuck things up in some paper trail chain of custody legal sort of way so I did some online reasearch and found a fax machine near me in a kinkos-like playground within a large shopping mall at the southern-most tip of Lake Washington where I fed my document into the mouth of an actual fax machine and heard the high pitched whine and dial-up static of yesteryear while waiting for a confirmation printout so I could pay my price per page. 

19 years ago the legal messenger in me was drinking really cheap beer at the Storeroom with Matt Case and I took his picture with a camera on film that I then dropped off at the drug store and waited a week for...

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almost every picture tells a story

December 22, 2017

didn't stumble upon this photo on instagram I got it at a thriftstore saying it was a gift for my brotherinlaw then a few days later I was thinking of subtle ways to tell my sister if he doesn't like it and wants to get rid of it then I will totally take it back until I realized I can skip all that bullshit and buy him another gift and keep this photo for myself because it's fucking amazing with layers and layers of hidden meaning and unanswered questions 

why was the photo taken? why was it blown up to 16" x 20" and framed? why was it donated to a thrift store years later? why Linda Ronstadt? where is that footstool today? where are your priorities? what are you looking at? what matters? what's important? 


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froome

December 16, 2017

super human strengths are needed just to make it to the pro peloton. enormous lung capacity and heart efficiency. resting heart rates around 30 bpm. from there begins the search for the next next little thing to gain advantages. bike technology consistently tweakes toward what some call progress offering small gains to the racers. while team doctors and scientists seek new and untested ways to push the human body beyond it's limits. 

in the context of bike racing the fact that Chris Froome tested at twice the legal limit for an asthma medication is not surprising. 

Alistair pointed out and I agree how entertaining it was to watch stages of the Tour live on OLN early in the morning before work back when Lance and Ullrich and Beloki and the gang were juiced up beyond belief. it was good bike racing it ws fun to watch it was dramatic

i haven't watched a Tour stage for a long time and it's not because I'm bummed about the performance enhancing drugs. I have a great deal of respect for Froome as an athlete but I do not believe he's much fun to watch on tv. 


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"give a little bit..."

December 14, 2017

I used to like that song and I hope Supertramp got paid-paid because it's now tainted forever. 

Amazon is a common discussion topic in Seattle and I don't want to dive into that pile of shit. But this photo sent to me by Mr AT speaks volumes on the most basic street level as well as the big picture level. 

 


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Andy Friday

December 5, 2017

Andy Friday died last week and I don’t know the details because I heard it from a friend of a friend who facebooks and another friend who is on facebook.

 

I was unable to retrieve a photo of Andy Friday from my photographic memory except this one that I tried to take of him and Banks at the Ballard Crit eleven years ago so I’m going to retrieve a few images of him from my actual photographic memory.

 

Andy wore a flannel shirt and sweatpants no matter the weather no matter the precipitation and sometimes he wore a pair of work gloves. He sometimes sported a carry-on style bag with a radio tied onto the strap. He rode bikes that were pieced together with seemingly incompatible parts, but he made them work. The classic Andy Friday bike was a road bike frame designed for 700c wheels with a 700 up front and a 26” in the rear with a flat bar and only a front brake because the calipers wouldn’t work on the rear wheel. He would ride the wrong way down one-ways directing traffic with authority pointing waving and scolding drivers in his deep voice.

 

When Andy was between messenger jobs there were times when you’d hear your name shouted out and turn to see him behind the wheel of a yellow Mercedes convertible. He’d tell a short story about this or that then be on his way.

 

Riding down a residential street one weekend I heard my name and stopped surprised to see Andy Friday chilling in a bathrobe on the front porch of a very large North Capitol Hill home. He was house sitting and had a few random stories.

 

Andy Friday was unusual comical opinionated and intense. He was unlike anyone else I’ve ever met. He will not be forgotten.

 


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PVC plasticity reduxy

December 1, 2017

Had a dream I was sleeping
woke up in a shower curtain factory 
the smell didn’t bother me
being taunted by Rick Steves
made me speak Chinese


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Applebee's

December 1, 2017

N30 18

November 29, 2017

happy birthday Steve


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hand turkey day

November 23, 2017

still life with coozie


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salted caramel, or not

November 16, 2017

a quality of life issue since MCMLXIX

 

One of the tenets of this place is: if it’s not one thing, it’s another    as in   in the absence of anything important or meaningful stupid petty little shit becomes monumental. It’s one of the pressure treated 4x4s holding up the entire deck that kickstand-dickstank-pilderwasser industries rests on rides on works on and so on in the whack-a-mole maintenance schedule we seem to follow. when we say we   we mean me.  taking care of business. the cost of doing business or not.  there are some key keywords that keep popping up.

 

what are you looking at. what matters? what’s important?





the red octopus accommodates 16 empty Rainier cans

 


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two circles and a seat

November 16, 2017

Justin sent me this 40 years ago and I got it last Friday


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coming up roses

November 12, 2017

cognitive biases rosy retrospection phantom nostalgia syndrome and the what not playing cards drinking beer nine or ten years ago fond memories wondering what we used to do with all that free time with no way to really know what sequence of events would unfold into 2018 the five year plan questions still make me chuckle in a goal disoriented way I prefer realistic goals like wearing shorts until Halloween and that moving-to-Portland-to-retire-concept is so 7.67 years ago

amtrak to pdx circa 2010 bun in the oven what's your 18-year plan stress case scenario 


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ofo you didn't

November 4, 2017

product placement

brand recognition

urban density

urban growth boundaries

hearing examiner

tax exemption

non-drive side pedal threads stripped

seized seatposts

illusory correlations

 

 


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whatever it takes

October 31, 2017

pumpkin seeds

October 30, 2017

recurring themes reoccur 


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bike share bike mechanic bike

October 27, 2017

 

That’s not my bike

 

Much of bike mechanics’ work goes unnoticed unappreciated under the radar behind the scenes back of the house. But the work of bike share bike mechanics in under under under appreciated.

 

Did you finish that bike yet?

 

Yes

 

No, not that bike, that one, the orange one to the left of those 750 other orange ones here in the warehouse

 

  • check the stem bolt on the 1 ⅛” quill stem and bar with basket one piece combo
  • Check frame alignment
  • repair bent and broken fender struts
  • replace damaged chain guard
  • true wheels replace broken spokes
  • replace brake pads
  • replace rear brake cable
  • adjust brake calipers
  • realign brake levers
  • replace torn grips
  • trouble-shoot lock mechanism
  • replace broken tail light
  • replace stolen saddle
  • lube chain
  • replace rear tire

 

When that bike is finished repeat the procedure 751 times 

As soon as those bikes are finished unpack and assemble the 500 bikes in boxes that just arrived from China in those shipping containers outside the warehouse

They're not just the same color they’re all the same fucking size too

I’m not providing commentary on the benefits of bike share in a crowded city I’m commenting on the mountain of work the mechanics have to maintain these bikes.

Sisyphean ground hog dayish repetitious loop de loop fuckin A ad nauseum

 

I thought you said your bike doesn’t suck

That’s not my bike




I want my oompa loompa NOW

In today’s disposable insatiable on demand tap the app instant gratification Seattle people want it now and they want it for $1.00 and they want it to function and be readily available within 50 feet of their present location at any given moment.

 

Other cultures other languages have the complicated sentiments boiled down to a single word or two. Powerful words that sum up the behind the scenes hard work the pride and internal motivation that keeps people showing up for work day in and day...

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apple cider vinegar

October 23, 2017

risk management

October 21, 2017

a bartender walks into an insurance office

the actuary says "what's your zipcode?"


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1999 like it's

October 13, 2017

Matt Case sent me this because I'm not on facebook and upon first glance I smiled and thought that's Tyler Goldsmith that's 1201 3rd that's around 1998 then later I looked again I looked closer I looked back into that grey area between 89 S Washington and 2225 4th Ave between Brian Voss and Erik Jahnz between Dez and Stu between Sit N Spin and Spitfire between the OK Hotel and Fuckin A

no tattoos no helmet no phone no radio only a pager and a tiny T2 bag hovering near Perkins Coie hanging on the beep wating for the word to go upstairs and call on a landline for further instructions something like call from Foster or take all that shit and come to base or all of the above twice in reverse and back round trip 


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low angle autumn afternoon

October 12, 2017

take a picture it lasts longer

33 Canadian geese

114 cigarette butts

7 ballpoint pens

1 post it note

1 park bench

1 hour with nothing better to do

 

combine ingredients in a large sphere. fold in gently. do not over stir. allow mixture to season at room temperature for seven years. salt to taste. 

 


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didn't see it on instagram

October 10, 2017

"I saw your site is still up but you just use old messenger photos" said Treebeard five years ago so here's a 9-year old treebeard photo

 


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cylindrical cyclical circle

October 2, 2017

robot pimping projected personae

September 28, 2017

real real life is such a pale extension of the projected persona pimped by social media requiring daily maintenance and rigorous attention to detail

as there is nothing new under the sun only references refering to other references as those in the know know


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one year later

September 22, 2017

having a great time   glad I'm not there


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nip & tuck

September 13, 2017

 

 

what does that have to do with that   or that?   what does anything have to do with anything.  what’s important   what really matters   what’s relevant and what is mindless filler  well well well  what’s the difference.  what day is it?   a PhD in pancake makeup. structural spackle at the journeyman level to fill-in the gaps and connect the dots.  

 

call & response    cause & effect    nip & tuck

 


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i'd buy that for a dollar

September 3, 2017

a moster-revealing mirror is worth a dollar

a bike-share window into human nature as seen in this NY Times article

and in your backyard soon

 

this lime bike is the first bike-share bike we've seen in our zipcode. an outlier deviating from the standard pattern radiating round lightrail stations. it just took a few weeks to make it up the hill 


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hot dog hot dog hot diggity dog

August 31, 2017

bungee corded pickle bucket

August 31, 2017

there's a CETMA rack under that USPS tote but I'd like to draw your attention to the pilderwasser sticker via Chris Murray v1.0 it's so ten years ago clear backing three layers of uberautomotive quality like como se dice if it was on your toptube and you cared for your bike it would still be there today


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we've decided to move in another direction

August 30, 2017

schlemiel schlimazel hasenpfeffer incorporated

August 28, 2017

Shag Bags bag  

photo via DANK bags 

the NACCC is in Milwaukee this weekend

 NACCC in SF ten years ago


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i tried so hard and got so far

August 23, 2017

but in the end

it doesn't even matter


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misdirected energy

August 19, 2017

circuitous routing coming back around again to the same old common themes with one more time around an internal smile that comes with the subtle satisfaction successfully  completing a round trip I’m a big fan of barking up the wrong tree sending laser focused misdirected energy with astounding attention to detail only to learn later they were all the wrong details

 


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that new book smell

August 13, 2017

I met Ken Johnson on RAGBRAI this year. He told me about this book because his photo of Eddy riding this bike apears on page 127. 

the book is great and I really appreciate its attention to detail and high quality photos. You can buy it here or check it out at the library like me.  


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pump cheese retrospectively

August 13, 2017

not obedient just independent    alone
self-contained entertained unrestrained 
stacking rocks, riding bikes, building forts, lighting fires
kicking pine cones, licking ice-cream cones 
slurping Slurpees until the brain freeze 
pinball, bubblegum, penny candy, pump cheese
the babysitter smells weird   smoking cigarettes
watching soap operas Monday through Friday
her macaroni tastes funny
her tuna sandwiches aren’t as good as mom’s
potato salad, dill pickles, baked beans, hot dogs 
the dog is so hot he’s not moving,   panting
ice cubes melting in his water bowl
garden hose spewing plasticky bathwater warm
the lawn yellowing   drying     dying 
crunching prickly on tenderfeet
they’ll toughen up by Labor day      then it’s
back to shoes and socks and school

"Pump Cheese"  circa 2008

 

nine years later and/or 39 years later that back-to-school feeling in the pit of my stomach has a little different meaning


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Slow and Low psi

August 13, 2017

 with the flat bar and the seat slammed back on a setback post below it was delusional thinking I could get from here to there efficiently on this really heavy rig with huge tires so here and now I put on this giant handlebar above and squishier saddle and completely given up or given in to the idea of taking a slower slow ride and pushing this thing up the hill to get home. in this latest iteration the bike is 100% Bike Works parts all the way down to the bar plugs and cable ends every single little thing on this bike is now from Bike Works. 


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Re: iterations

August 7, 2017

before

after


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heat advisory

August 4, 2017

angry Tony's angry Daltex

August 1, 2017

that's a Campy derailleur more than a full bubble off plumb. 

on day 3 of RAGBRAI on the way to Clear Lake Tony's non drive side crank fell off and the bolt was long gone and when he tried to give it a go with just one crank just that first one big crank with his right leg was enough to suck the derailleur into the wheel and end his day waiting for the sag wagon. the derailleur hanger needs more than a little tweak it needs to be replaced. but luckily Tony knows the Daltex guy. 

if you're looking for a Campy non drive crank bolt in or around Clear Lake Iowa in late July it might be hard to find even with Amazon Prime


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RAGBRAI & aporkalypse burritos

July 30, 2017

of the few photos I took on RAGBRAI 97% of them involve beer bloody marys coozies beer gardens gas station parking lots bars and beer. this is the "liquid century" on a beautiful golf course parked next to Team Bud

 

 

there were some bikes on RAGBRAI too and the Hardees aporkalypse burrito features ham, bacon and sausage as well as eggs and two kinds of cheese

I haven't seen so many pilderwasser t-shirts and jerseys in one place since 2009 westside invite

this big bull was in Postville. I learned a little about Postville in the New York Times years back and it then I got to ride through it a few days ago and it's not the average Iowa town and as a pass-through town they only had 6 kybos

on another beautiful golf course sleeping just off the fairway where a handy bush next to the tent is worth two birds

 I heard that more spd sandals are sold in Iowa than the other 49 states combined

 

 back on RAGBRAI after a 6 year hiatus like a born again virgin but not making all those rookie mistakes

every time I felt tired out there on the bike I thought of Jimbo pulling his daughter across Iowa and I felt a little better about dragging myself to the next town 

I gave this DANK coozie to Jimbo 10 years ago and a short time later someone hose-clamped it to the bus mirror to hold up a flag for a parade in Grinnell that flag broke off many years ago and this year I reclaimed the coozie and put it back to work      taken out of context and put back in

the largest greatest bike ride party in the world involves a lot of interstate travel support vehicles busses RVs cars trucks ATVs airline tickets school busses police cars ambulances fire trucks street sweepers kybo suction trucks traffic signs and a shit load of empty beer cans but...

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where I'm calling from

July 20, 2017

25 # of shit in a 5 # bag

July 19, 2017

what if you saw this on instafacetwittgram?  attention spans are getting shorter and shorter but that's not what they want you to think from point A to point B what's the point. it takes longer to upload/download a photo to this site than most people spend reading complete sentences in an entire day. 


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to too much

July 16, 2017

"too much is never enough, it's always too much"  --Daniel E. Murray

 


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same T-shirt different year

July 13, 2017

2011

2017

so six years ago

today July 13, 2017 as we speak these are slow drying in the garage at HQ one-of-a-kind one-at-a-time same as it ever was

 


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round and round and round

July 11, 2017

growing like weeds

chronologically

counterclockwise 

 

 


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Idaho?

July 7, 2017

I see dog walkers

July 6, 2017

 I see dog walkers. I see lawn & garden workers. I see house cleaners. I see over loaded mass transit. I see immediate delivery gratification professionals. I see new jobs and new people moving to Seattle to take those new jobs. What I don't see is a place for those new people to live. I see the median house price passing $750,000. I see 1 BR apartments renting for more than we make in months. I see horseshit. 

I see parking where there is no parking. 

I see the signpost up ahead - your next stop, the twilight zone 


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are you my Jimmy John?

July 6, 2017

I know a guy that knows Ben Rainbow who knows a thing or two about Rohloff hubs and getting this neo-retro Davidson set up just right for Hillman City.


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slice

July 3, 2017

Taylor Phinney's Cannondale Slice as seen in this VeloNews photo reminds me of a design student's unfinished project


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RAGBRAI XLV training

June 29, 2017

a can of beer

a spot in the shade

 

a front row seat 

10,000 cyclists parade 

 

all the way      across                  Iowa

a whiff of sunscreen mixed with kybo

 

sweet corn

chamois butt'r

 

only 10 miles to the next town

and 7 to one after that 

 

 

 


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and then what happened?

June 28, 2017

when I used to sit around looking out the window wondering what to do in a cheap and affordable studio apartment on Capitol Hill riding my bike to work in 17 minutes and home from work in 21 minutes I carried a notebook and recent New Yorkers to write and read because I had nothing better to do as Seattle kind of came to a stand still where even construction projects halted and filled in the excavations and legal messengers had to buy more six packs to fill the gaps these are some words from those days  ca 2010 because they're all still true and now in retrospect I can't believe how much "free" time I used to have

 

I’ll find you near the intersection where expectations meet reality, but we’ll both need to wait in line for a while. Together. Separately. For complete instructions and rules of entry send SASE to PO Box 123. 

Do you feel that? That’s not a subwoofer. That is 442 cubic inches of displacement. Muscle. Original flavor long-cut between the cheek n gum. Liquid smoke in the eye a poke. As if meeting in the loading dock makes  sense. By design. 

If and only if. If then. If only. Migratory six-pack rings wrapped around your finger. An environmental impact statement stated in terms like simplicity, utility and out-of-pocket. Out on a limb like the kitten in the poster on the ceiling at the dentist. You’re huffing so much gas, the kitten begins to speak Spanish and you understand completely. 

Paperback reading walker. Walker reading paperback. I’m watching where you’re going, so you don’t have to. Warm shampoo. Cold Turkey. Fingerprints on the glass, compounded daily. Toothpaste splatter pattern on the mirror in normal distribution with standard deviation and occasional outliers. Fat-free vegan organic truck stop. Barstool etiquette. Free refills. 

Cauliflower party platter. Roundhouse. Circle to the left counterclockwise here as well as in the southern hemisphere. Losing steam. Solar powered artificial color. 67% majority. Authority....

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hardly getting over it

June 26, 2017

urban renewal

June 23, 2017

I found a zip tie with a tree root growing through it.          what are you looking at? what are you worried about? who are you following? who are you retweeting? what's important? what matters? what's the difference? how many likes? how many comments? how much horseshit?

 

I saw a kitten squashed in the street

I read about a plastic surgeon and his art collection

--Iggy Pop


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can't you smell that smell

June 19, 2017

for real really

June 19, 2017

this from AT is not some slick neoretro knockoff

it's the real deal and for me it's all about the package not the product

sincerely for real   really


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tinfoil caps not hats

June 15, 2017

that's what they want you to think

don't ask questions 

 

here's to riding in the rain with no fenders

intentionally    on purpose    mindfully 

leaving steaming wet ass prints on bar stools along the way

 

91 degrees and raining in the 50112

56 degrees and raining in the 98118

 

is it raining? 

 

 


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Volunteer Park Crit turns 50

June 12, 2017

 

 

junior junior and junior didn't care much for the bike races yesterday they were more interested in baby ducks and shaved ice and monkey bars but when things turn 50 it's time to take a little look back 

 

circa 2008 we made a stop at the HopVine during the races punctuating a full day of sitting in the grass drinking can after can of beer.   now there's a beer garden right at the finish line selling $7 cups of beer. 


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what's up Swisher fans?

June 10, 2017

once you notice them

you can't unnotice them

they're   there

they're everywhere

 


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uniform spoke tension

June 7, 2017

serving suggestion enlarged to show texture

 

those wheels are so 6 years ago just like the photo bro

but you can still get your hands on a pair for only $3025.15

i'm not sure if they age well perhaps if you keep them out of direct sunlight and maybe nobody really knows how well they age because they're only 6 years old??? the aerospace industry knows a little bit about a little adhesive used to bond chunks of  carbon fiber to other chunks of carbon fiber over and over and over


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dude ascending a staircase

June 3, 2017

 

a journey of 408 miles begins with a single step

these elevation profiles look pretty impressive

but it all depends on how the data is presented

using the same scale I'd like to present a ride to Columbia City, Beacon Hill, Georgetown, Downtown, Capitol Hill and back to Rainier Beach and I could probably ask somebody under 40 to set that up and graph it neatly for me even though google is already tracking all that and more on each of us and saving it all on a server farm somewhere near Moses Lake but we don't have access to it at this time. 


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do it right

May 31, 2017

one day about 18 years ago I bought one of these shirts at a little shop near 6th & Denny that sold vintage posters and t-shirts before eBay made actual stores obsolete I didn't wear that shirt much becasue I thought it was ugly but I kinda wish I still had it as I will not be purchasing another one for $125


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"Get in the Drops!"

May 31, 2017

one of these kids is doing his own thing

a couple days before 9-11 we'll call it nine-nine of whatever year that was I thought you said you'd never forget I went to Marymoor and took the little class they said you had to take to ride bikes in the velodrome and I went through the motions and followed directions which always seemed to be yelled at me to get in the drops because I was on the tops or where the hoods would be if there were hoods because I've never felt the need to get aero bro so drop bars have sort of dropped out of my lineup but the last 4 times I rode RAGBRAI there were drops on the RB-1 there are lots of pros and some cons to them there handlebars and I often catch myself wanting to yell at everyday commuters to Get in the Drops!

 

zoom in and see that sticker a la Chris Murray pasted on the bike rack RAGBRAI style here in the 98118 and then see the reflectors a la Travis K a la the first thing you take off your new bike when you're a kid but when you get to be my age in the 98118 you find creative ways to put them back on 


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ask me about the dependability bonus

May 29, 2017

ask me about compulsive punctuality

traffic's a real bear

mirror check

signal

head check 

lane change

or      change lanes whenever where ever whatever

those lines on the street are serving suggestions

can't we all get along

look at all those sharrows

multitasking is half assing

it's not the rumble strips in the road that'll fuck you up it's the over reaction stress freak outs in the crowd that stack it up white knuckle like lock up

it's not the issue

it's your reaction to the issue      

that    is the issue

it's a quality of life issue

it's a question a child might ask but not a childish question

"Alexa, how the fuck did I get here?" 

in the northern hemisphere my chapstick rolls itself up in my right pocket but not in my left

I want people that drive like assholes to wait longer at the next red light to slam on their brakes to avoid the car in front of them to spill their coffee in their lap to get a big dry mouthful of karma dust or something like that


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pill identifier

May 24, 2017

day in day out. intense RAGBRAI training continues. 


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98118 - maillot jaune - 50112

May 22, 2017

behind blue eyes 2.0

May 19, 2017

product placement

May 19, 2017

as President Emeritus and founder of the Profile Design Cup Holders Club this would be featured on my twitter instagram horseshit to fulfill my contract agreements to place the product prominently 17 or more times per month if I had a contract or any kind of sponsorship...but in fact I have one or two of these cages on all of my bikes because they hold a cup of coffee as well as a tallboy as well as a roadmaster as well as an actual water bottle and it's not because I'm talking the talk it's because I'm walking the walk slowly up hill both ways


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so six years ago

May 16, 2017

The passage of time personified. A little living breathing calendar that only gets bigger.   A kid that is. All up in your face they just keep growing. For me ages 22-42 were kind of a blur on the north end of the I-5 corridor a gelatinous mass of memories low level jobs housemates studio apartments and singlespeed conversions. Then a kid came along and showed me the way time passes differently. Relativity in rain boots. Look away for a day and they’ve grown some more.

 

I know that kid. Six years ago he was in kindergarten. Six years from now he’ll be in college

 

PS    check out that bike

 


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if I had a hammer

May 14, 2017

Pushing my bike up the hill in the 98118 single speededly because I’m in no hurry because I’m not too proud to walk because paper-boying a hill just to avoid walking is so so so much more than six years ago     came upon this sign in the grass   took a photo    sent this text to SteveG “can’t decide if I should text a photo or just steal the fucking sign” then 25 feet later came upon another sign and that one ended up in my bag for the ride home    taken out of context and put back in     the right tool for the job     you can order any foo foo espresso drink you want as long as it’s a hammer

 


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focal point

May 13, 2017

you can't get there from here

May 11, 2017

I haven’t put on an alley cat race for 18 years but if I did one today it would include this stop - South Spokane Street at Hahn Place South - the checkpoint to fuck up all checkpoints. Route yourself accordingly. There will be no smartphones, no GPS, no Strava. Good old fashioned paper maps are OK and hard-earned experience and knowledge of local geography are even better. Google maps can’t solve all your problems and the satellite images don’t clue you in on secret stairways and handy elevators.

 

I haven’t registered a domain name for a website in 13 years but if I did one today I hope it wouldn’t take 10 days for the customer service reps to figure it out. This site was suspended for a while because the domain name needed ICANN certification and I guess they warned me of the approaching deadline by emailing dickstank@aol.com which made me laugh almost as much as hearing a customer service rep say “dickstank at AOL dot com” in a polite British accent. dickstank?  AOL? What year is this? How did I get here? As far as I can tell ICANN is just some dude in sweatpants watching Sportscenter and eating pizza pockets while the money rolls in. certification my ass but I do appreciate the emails and texts from the 5 people that noticed the site disappeared

 

I haven’t been a first-day-on-the-job-rookie bike messenger for exactly 20 years but if I was one today I’d probably be overthinking my wardrobe choices and I'd definitely not be drinking enough water

 

you can't get here from there

or maybe you can

all roads lead from Spokane

 

 


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phantom nostalgia syndrome XVII

April 28, 2017

swap out proper nouns repeat as needed

 

that neighborhood was great before they moved in

that bike shop was cool when so and so worked there

that block was walkable when it was single family homes

they were great before they signed with major label 

a good cup of coffee was not $4.50

studio apartments were less than $350

bike messengers delivered VHS tapes

bike messengers delivered blue prints

bike messengers delivered depositions

whatever the question

threadless stem adaptors are not the answer

 

 

 


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hooded sweatshirts 10 years later

April 24, 2017

this reminds me of Seth and  it also of Chris Murray and Chris always reminds me of RAGBRAI and if you've never heard of RAGBRAI it might as well be an acronym that stands for riding BMX bikes at night in bunny costumes with hooded sweatshirts. Yesterday Alistair sent me this link to something that I most likely never would have discovered myself and it's actually a great intro to RAGBRAI and what it's all about from an interesting vantage point. Ten or Eleven years ago I caught a glimpse or two or Lance on his first RAGBRAI but mostly I just saw the pack of people and the camera crews following him or leading him out and I never got that close

 

digging through my photographic memory for a shot of Lance I found THIS shot from RAGBRAI 2006

that's the bike that now lives next door to me

that's the bike I recently hacked the handlebars off of

that's the bike 

 

it's a small world after all 

it's a small    small    world


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16" wheel ditty : derelict tennis courts

April 24, 2017

this kid has been on a balance bike for years including this glorified balance bike until last weekend when she put the pedals back on and took off shredding alleys and derelict tennis courts at the edge of town deep in the 98118 and 98178. one set of courts has not seen tennis since Reagan was in the white house the other set still has nets up but sees mostly beer cans and fireworks and off-leash dogs and kids on bikes. at the Bike Summit in Oly last month where I got that fucking ditty bag I also got to see a presentation from a designer at Alta about the traffic garden in White Center that opened late last year on what used to be a set of tennis courts.

now all we need is $100,000 to transform the courts down in Rainier Beach  

Aerial footage from grand opening of new bicycle playground at Dick Thurnau Park,with Native American Blessing from King County Parks on Vimeo.


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Hot Chicken Cold Beer

April 20, 2017

I know a guy that knows a guy that makes coozies  

intense RAGBRAI training day in day out


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little ditty bout 16" wheels

April 16, 2017

the time is NOW is the time

April 13, 2017

that moment when the pendulum stops

before it swings the other way

no longer the past

not yet the future

that moment

is   now

right

now

right now

 

 

 this was the most read article in the New York Times last year and with all the horseshit that happened in 2016, that's reason enough to take a look but there are some other reasons it's worthwhile too and if you're ready to explore a bit more there's more out there 


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a little 50112 in the 98118

April 12, 2017

Steve G sent me these photos of ye olde Cannondale that made its way across Iowa more than a few times and recently rolled into Bike Works. 

those in the know know but it case you don't have the secret decoder ring it's important to work a little RAGBRAI into your day-to-day living. a taste of Iowa (50112) right here in this zipcode (98118)  if that means buying a six pack of tall boys and sitting in the shade across from the beer store or if that means wearing your official RAGBRAI merchandise to work 51 weeks out of the year  or if that means riding a tandem with a blowup doll strapped on the stoker seat       whatever works   works

a couple years later   call me maybe.   a new wheel set. two water bottles. a frame bag. new grips. seat post. saddle bag. I'm not a big accessories fan. keep it simple. but this bike wants to ride across Iowa and I don't want to have anything in my pockets or on my back or in some crazy canadian fanny pack. let the tool do the work.  


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just riding along

April 8, 2017

there goes the neighborhood


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a pair of el diablos can change the world

April 6, 2017

can you find 14 differences between these two photos?  the dream of the 90s is alive in Rainier Beach. I know a guy that knows a guy who's wife dropped this bike in my garage and said "can you tune it up?" and I thought "are you fucking kidding me?"     but I said "how do you feel about those handlebars?"  I'm pretty sure I can make this bike a bit more comfortable for every day just riding along and I pulled a few parts out of my back pocket and slapped them on and when I say a few I mean a riser bar  thumb shifters  brake levers  el diablos  a smaller chainring and cables & housing and a 27.2 post to replace the 27.0 that was in there with the binder bolt mashed to the max bottomed out and then she said she wants to pull a kid trailer around the neighborhood and it's all downhill from here so she wants some low low low gears and I said "I don't have all that in my back pocket right now"... but it is possible with a triple crank up front then change the BB spindle length and of course the front derailleur and the rear derailleur and the cassette too and toss in a new chain or you could just buy a used mountain bike and could I interest you in a lock? lights? a helmet? fenders? a rack? bottle cages? a computer? a bell? gloves? a jacket? a cycling cap? frame pump? tire levers? a patch kit? multi-tool? saddle bag? 


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Smart Trips

April 1, 2017

Dr 37 Mike was in the house today when he paid a visit to HQ with the family as you can see in the photo he's just this side of the JIS screwdriver he gave me and just right of the poster from Whatcom County and if I was on twitter this would be so seven hours ago 


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f l a t

March 31, 2017

vanishing point flat

last nights beer flat

big midwestern city fixed gear flat

collapsing in its own footprint flat

boring fucking monotone flat

affectless affect flat

Harmony in Red flat

no time flat

making up the rules flat

controlled demolition flat

slow leak on a 3-day weekend flat

they say they come in threes flat

no CO2 in the kegerator flat

tangent to the edge of the earth flat


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elbow elbow wrist wrist wrist

March 29, 2017

You say tomato. I say scrunchie. You say wrist coil key holder. I say whatever, you know what I mean. I used to ride a bike a lot and I used to lock and unlock my bike a lot. A lot a lot. So much so that I suffered from phantom ass pocket U lock syndrome for many months after I turned back into a plain old bike commuter. As a messenger I tried many tricky tricks and strings and things to keep track of my key. After messing around with a bunch of silly contraptions I finally settled on the 89 cent wrist coil and stuck with it. These colorful coils were often available free in a big cookie jar at Perkins Coie reception  or they could be purchased at a huge mark-up from a locksmith on Capitol Hill. These coils vary in quality and elasticity. Some would never spring back when the temperature dropped below 40. Some lasted two weeks. Some lasted two months. But the one I had until yesterday lasted over 7 years. Seven fucking years for 89 cents.

 

It seems silly to trust a cheap ass piece of plastic with the key to your ride. But it works. It worked for me and it still does until it doesn’t.   Yesterday when I was drinking a cup of coffee and I heard a clang when some keys hit the floor and I thought somebody chucked their keys at me until I realized they were my keys and my scrunchie broke.

 

One day yesteryear I was standing in line at the Broadway post office when Art KnR handed me my scrunchie and key. He found it on the ground next to my locked up bike where I dropped it when I took off my gloves. Thanks Art.

 

Another day in the late 90s I rode up and down Second Avenue retracing all my stops looking for my scrunchie. After about 30 minutes of zigzagging around I reached...

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one way or another

March 28, 2017

 

one way or another it’s a continuum

 

and you may ask yourself

“what would Robert Arzoo do?” (wwrad)

 

smooth the transitions

in either direction

 

one way or another

 

burning a few new neural pathways

riding the old ones into the ground

 

it’s all in your mind

 

real      or  perceived

reality  vs  perception

reality  is  perception

 


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tap tap swipe

March 23, 2017

 

if you haven't heard of the 529 project    you will soon. 

you can learn all about it here  

on Tuesday I got to learn more about it from the guy behind it and I won't try to summarize the entire story when you can just read it yourself but I will say it's impressive. well done with a simple user friendly interface. the information on your bike is actually useful when it's in a place where the people that will see your bike in the world can look it up instantly because you can get the word out that it's stolen instantly. Ever since I registered my bike with the local police department 30 years ago and I got a sticker and they wrote my name down in a three ring binder I've never bothered to "register" my bikes anyplace because it has always seemed pointless. but this 529 platform finally takes advantage of the fact that everyone is walking around with computers and cameras in their pockets and they can be useful. as you know bikes disappear in Seattle and reappear in SF or PDX at bike swaps and on Craigslist so when the I-5 corridor begins to get covered with 529 stickers it can really make a difference and as more and more bike shops get on board and more and more bikes are registered the effectiveness will increase and that little shield on your seat tube will really mean something. i registered my cargo bike this morning and plan to register my beer bike and maybe my kid's bike too because it's easy

 


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S R T C U R B

March 17, 2017

ask me about 100% lambswool Burberry wrapped around a coozie made by those guys down at DANK bags

ask me about product placement and brand recognition

ask me about brand loyalty

ask me about that guy they call Sally

ask him to estimate how many beers have been through that coozie since he got it off of me

ask me about the wicked long selfie sticks they sell in Nebraska

ask me how much of my liberal arts education was actually frisbee

ask me about the Semi Recumbent Tandem Club of Upper Rainier Beach (SRTCURB)

ask me if I ask myself "how did I get here?"

 

ask me about the Washington State Bike Summit in Olympia

 

 


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it's not progress, it's change

March 13, 2017

thanks Steve Maluk 


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electric assist resist

March 13, 2017

the redzone is for loading & unloading only


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single serving size

March 11, 2017

it's all downhill from here

March 7, 2017

really it is.  all downhill from here.  

going out for a ride is easy. coming back home is difficult. 

elevation gained and lost and lost again. 

potential energy. unused potential. 

kids get bigger. bike stays same size. 

 


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to tell two friends to tell two friends too

March 3, 2017

4/1/17  3:27pm natch       be present    like mindfulness

 

0206150944.jpg

 

if you and or your two friends ride a bike and want to gain a little more confidence working on bikes like basic bike repair there's another session of Bike Repair 101 starting in a few weeks on Tuesday nights.

this batch of classes starts the day after 327 Dave's birthday aka 3-28-17 

you two and you too can register here

I know the instructor knows what's what as far as getting from here to there on your own terms because I know the instructor  


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palindromic sequences

March 2, 2017

 

no need to explain. it's Seattle in 2017 

no need to say Galland Building just say "twelve twenty one" 

i gained a deep appreciation for palindromic street addresses

and free form examples of bilateral symmetry 

as well as short elevator rides or stairs

free-lock quick pick drop in & out 

one day 10 years ago or so somebody dropped their $450 msrp Burberry shawl in the lobby of 1221 and the rest is history

and now that 1221 is history too Sally says he still has that coozie


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the epoch of incredulity

February 28, 2017

click here to make this site mobile friendly

 

it's not about those kids they're just an illustration of dichotomy

incredulity

are you kidding me

you are here

we     are     here

in the epoch of epic horseshit

it's not the best   it's not the worst

take it easy with the super duper superlativity

ask me about lock nut lip clearance

ask me about learned helplessness


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Hella long time

February 25, 2017

I know a guy that knows a guy who just reached his 17th year as bike messenger in Seattle.

seventeen years is a long time. 

congratulations 39

 

 

 

i don't get downtown much these days but when i do    it's not the same city.  there are 50,000 more people working in the core than there were when I quit 6.5 years ago.     


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baskets full of unused potential XVII

February 19, 2017

in the absence of anything

meaningful

helpful 

crucial 

there's a Katy Perry song to fill the void

 

 

 

consider using 700c wheels on a frame designed for 26" 


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orange whip?

February 17, 2017

XXL long sleeve jersey screaming out for an orange whip? to be screened onto the left sleeve

those in-the-know   know

helium filled alien bovine RAGBRAI  invasion   ca 2017


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bird by bird

February 16, 2017

if a donated bike is stolen before it's tallied on a clipboard, does it make a sound?

February 14, 2017

NON SEQUITUR LATHER. rinse. repeat.

February 13, 2017

my kid junior junior has an electric ninja turtle toothbrush that shouts out encouraging messages about fighting cavities but when the batteries were depleted to the point of exhaustion the bristles would no longer rotate and the digital audio sample was reduced to one syllable on repeat and that repeating sound has an unmistakable uncanny resemblance to Ali's laugh. 

and that's why I found this picture of his bike because that toothbrush makes me laugh thinking of Ali laughing and it's not a non sequitur if on his old bike above that's my old CETMA rack that I sold to him and that's my bike with that same CETMA in situ below in front of that building with the writing on the wall that's no longer there because it's just another construction site where another 5 story condo will appear with mixed used street level retail where hopefully the Hugo House can come home someday in a way.

if you had a megaphone what would you say?

if you had some spray paint what would you write on the wall? 

 

she's like that with everybody

she was like that with everybody


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spinning

February 10, 2017

you've got to rearrange

February 8, 2017

day by day  it’s hard to see the changes you’ve been through

 

doing the same thing

expecting the same results

 

the limited range of motion

repeated repeatedly within the parameters

 

keeping it together         somehow

hanging by a string

 

over and over and over

and over again

 

the first stop this morning

was the last stop last night

 

it’s cool until it isn’t     then

it isn’t cool

 

right shoulder bag     for years

skeletal system compensated

 

a full bubble

off plumb

 

off kilter   cockeyed   straight-up crooked

got used to it    ignored it     rolled with it  

 

it was cool

until it wasn’t

 

then it wasn’t cool

 

 


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hot seats

February 3, 2017

"The 2018 United States elections will mostly be held on Tuesday, November 6, 2018. All 435 seats in the House and 33 of the 100 seats in the Senate will be contested. 39 state governorships and numerous other state and local elections will also be contested."

 


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boop & beep

February 3, 2017

thanks for the T-shirt Sally

it's good to catch-up face to face or side by side beer for beer

 

 


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immediate delivery gratification

January 31, 2017

4291 deliveries paid out $382   horseshit

 

this from Steve G is a great way to stay away from the NY Times 

this from Cat is a great way to keep all the horseshit in the NY Times in perspective and there's plenty of commentary out there


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taken out of context and put back in

January 26, 2017

 I know a guy that knows a guy and he got his hands on this Fat Chance Yo Eddy that rolled into a small nonprofit community bike shop with its original aqua-fade paint job obscured by that homely rattle can camo you see above. So that guy took it out of context and spent quite a bit more money on the new paint job seen below. 

 I have this old school Burley trailer that collects a lot of dust these days but it used to move dynamic loads of kids around town. And I know a guy that took the Burley out of context out in the snow deep in the Olympic Peninsula with a static load of camping gear. 


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horseshit aka "alternative facts"

January 25, 2017

 there goes the neighborhood XXXVI

here's an actual fact: you can't swing a stick in Seattle without hitting a new townhome. Which is why it's so comical to me that someone felt the need to freckle Columbia City with these signs and why I felt fine liberating one for my own use. I walked to the Ale House spinning it and it was accurate in every direction. 


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go North young man

January 22, 2017

 

the 2017 RAGBRAI route is taking shape


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the audacity of hope in hindsight

January 17, 2017

8 years later  

how does hope look in hindsight? 

 

if you're only 3 years old

it looks like a Barack Obama basketball found in Beer Sheva park 

 

call me in 2020

we'll talk about 2024


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SEO mobile friendly social media presence

January 15, 2017

Sorry, we're CLOSED

January 12, 2017

when I finally quit this nonprofit shit once and for all    I am not going to open a bike shop

or maybe it's already open in my garage but it's always closed 

I wrote this bit years and years and years ago and it keeps coming up like acid reflux 

because it's still true

When I finally quit this messenger shit, once and for all, I’m going to open a bike shop. A big bright historic space with huge store front windows and high ceilings and wood floors. With passive solar heating in the winter, and well placed shade in the summer. I’m going to work there all the time, six or seven days a week. The shop will be beautiful, stocked with every bike tool ever invented. French, Italian, Japanese, you name it, I will have it, hung neatly on the shop walls. Everything in its place. A place for everything. I will have two Campagnolo Cork Screws with Cherry handles. I will have seven different kinds of bike tool bottle openers. I will have four brands of headset presses. The 3000 square foot work space will have work stands and tools for 5 full-time mechanics, so I can work on 5 of my bikes all at once.  Two air compressors enclosed in sound proof cases. Truing stands bolted down to work benches 42.5 inches off the ground. I will have two Phil Wood spoke cutters/threaders. There will be cement floors and drains built in so I can hose it all down when the kegs overflow or the chainlube explodes or the cat pukes or the shit hits the fan. I will have shop dogs and shop cats. The bike book library will be monumental. The furniture will be well designed, attractive, comfortable and functional. There will be no non-dairy creamer. The coffee will be good. The beer will be cold. There will be wholesale accounts with everyone and everyone. Paul, Phil, Chris, Grant, Brooks, Mavic, Moots, Sachs, Sidi, Swobo....

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what he said

January 12, 2017

did you get your elk?

January 4, 2017

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