what was that? is that all there is? who is this? this is it.

pilderwasser unlimited T-shirts  pilder what? kickstand P know knew spew snap shots autoBIKEography RAGBRAI  slide shows phot-o-rama stationary-a-gogo 1/2 x 3/32 links

grape ape redux throwback thursday

May 29, 2024

rusty cage

May 29, 2024

 

 

When I say rust. 

 

You say rust.

 

But when I say iron oxide, check out this little flowchart I poached from the wiki back in 2011. Hang it on the wall and call it art. 

 

I’m an arrow fan and flowcharts are a good way to use a few. They’re also a good way to cover the last 13.7 billion years just as well as a short bike ride to the corner store. 

 

This particular chart reminds me a lot of David Byrne’s book Arboretum from 2006.  It’s full of sketches, diagrams, flowcharts, growth charts and unrelated objects and ideas that become related because he puts them together in new ways. It also reminds me that I like Johnny Cash’s Rusty Cage more than Soundgarden’s original. 

 


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with it or on it

May 28, 2024

foreshortened 

sans serif

point of view

worn out cliche

like like

like really like

white shoes

after Labor Day

milk milk

lemonade

round the corner

chocolates made

bicycling bicycles

bike bikes

 


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Fuckin A+

May 25, 2024

 

 

 

 

 

 


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let it go there

May 24, 2024

After recent rains 

your tumblers are rusty

crispy crunchy sticky gritty

squeaky elbow grease         release

elasticity diminished capacity

replace the battery

help us help you change your tune

gently fold it in with a wooden spoon

let it go there

where big kids sit

with a booster chair

 

 

 ###

 

 

 

 

note: I took that photo yesterday, but I strung out those words 15 years ago. Today I stuck it all together and let it go there.  

 

there

 


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grape ape

May 21, 2024

I’m an IPA fan, but no thankyou to the grapey grapes. The name however, is pretty cool. Over the past 3 Saturdays en route to the Hugo House, as morning turned to afternoon I’ve had a stool at the bar at 1221 E Pike. You know I know you know where that is. Inside, there are various displays of large menu magnets from multiple beers of the past. I’ve had my eye on this one. On the 4th consecutive Saturday I’m visualizing a way that I can nonchalantly peel it off the wall and into my backpack. If it wasn’t 14” x 5” it would be a little easier. 

In another grape ape sort of way I got my hands on these purple doohickies today. Jimmy John pointed out someone's scrap pile on Brooklyn Ave and I paused to peruse. The rest is history yet to be written. Taken out of context and put back in, in another sort-of-way way.

Once upon a time this clampy clamp was supporting blood transfusions at UWMC. Another some way some day it’s sitting in a junk pile on Brooklyn Ave. And then? No and then. And then? No and then. And then — twelve hours later it’s supporting a flower pot full of wildflowers in Rainier Beach. Who knew???

 

 

Bow Down to Washington. Mighty are the men who wear the Purple and the Gold…

 

 


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missed it by that much

May 20, 2024

it's in the bag

May 18, 2024

Not My Bag was a recent exhibition at the Henry Art Gallery by artist, writer and filmmaker Sophia Al-Maria (born in Tacoma, she lives and works in London) 

The poster features a still from the film Beast Type Song

The Henry sometimes has free piles and if it says “please take one”   I take three. 

 

So I took the three posters and added Dank Bags in silver, gold and black. I also pulled off some postcards, byproducts of the posters. Or perhaps the posters were byproducts of the postcards. Same paint, different surface. 

When the paint dried I took all three posters and rolled them up to stuff into a shipping tube for the guys down at DANK.  Operating under the assumption that they might not really want posters like this, but they could use them for something else or re-gift them. But the tube was so narrow that the paint started scraping off the poster on the outside of the 3-roll as I tried to stuff them in. So I had to bust up the triptych and only ship two posters down to Rip City. The third found a spot on the wall here at HQ. 


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everybody has their own opinion

May 16, 2024

There are not now, nor have there ever been any Harrison Butker cards here. A couple Nick Lowery cards, yes. Everybody has their own opinion. whatever. just keep it outta my face. I could talk a lot of shit as I am a real shit talking talker.

If that guy was the commencement speaker at my daughter's graduation, I'd request a refund. 

I will say here & now, professional athletes are placed upon a platform from which they can advance causes and "do good" if they choose to.   They're role models if they like it or not, no choice. 

everybody held their own opinion


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4-cross for what?

May 15, 2024

note the spokes’

twisted tortured 

 

jacked up journey   

from hub to rim

 

4-cross  for what?

for show

 

build this wheel 

I did not

 

from BikeWorks 

I got

 

it’s all so  

12 years ago 

 

it’s all so

unnecessary bro

 


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wish you were here

May 14, 2024

single use

throw away

plastic postcards

from the wedge


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delineation

May 14, 2024

de·lin·e·a·tion
/dəˌlin ēˈā SHən/
 
noun
 
  1. the action of describing or portraying something precisely.
    "the artist's exquisite delineation of costume and jewelry"
     
    Similar: portrayal description presentation depiction representation picture portrait account
     
     
  2. the action of indicating the exact position of a border or boundary.
    "the eventual delineation of the border between the two states"

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Smokey

May 12, 2024

not my bag

May 11, 2024

there’s a story there

their story’s there too

 

beget begat begot

begin began begun

 

it’s only just begun

stay tuned

 

we now join your routine

already in progress 

 

not my bag bro

 

 


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a time & a place

May 10, 2024

another time

another place

 

respite

hiatus

escape

bubble

pause

 

fresh air

cold beer

hot chicken

 

taken out of context

and put back in

 


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roundtrip

May 7, 2024

sitting in a sawed off lawn chair in the garage with the sun poking through. having a beer in a Wheel Fanatyk cup  reminding me of Ric. take a photo, fluff it up with a filter and send it to Ric. then he puts it on a postcard and sends it back in the full set full circle round trip return circuit out and back dinger.


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3747 W Stevens Way

May 5, 2024

do you know bro?


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do you know crow?

May 5, 2024

 

Do you know because I tell you so, or do you know, do you know. 

 

--Gertrude Stein


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what about you?

May 4, 2024

In the 80s my mom got Breakfast Club on VHS at the video store, probably more than once.  I definitely watched it more than once. With a pen and paper in hand I paused the VCR  and rewound it until I had this scene down. In a short while I had it memorized. 

 

To this day you might find me reciting it, once in a while, here or there, when I’m reminded of it, talking to myself, soliloquizing, rolling around the U-district, or grinding up the hill to get home…

 

Stupid

Worthless

No good

Goddamn

Freeloading

Son of bitch

 

Retarded 

Big mouth

Know it all 

Asshole

Jerk

 

you forgot 

Ugly

Lazy  and

Disrespectful…

 

 

As a kid my grandma would sometimes bust out a poem she memorized in school. A poem she still had stored in her brain, word for word, 50 or 60 years later. She could recite Rudyard Kipling’s  

 

If–

 

If you can keep your head when all about you   

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

 

 

It’s a 4 stanza 32 line poem, and I know she had that first stanza down word for word.

 

I don’t have any classic poems memorized but I have John Bender’s dad scene memorized. Word for word. 

 

Word

 


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historical metaphorical

May 4, 2024

autobiographical

irreconcilable

 

irreversible

immaterial

 

Seattle

Legal

 

skeptical

quizzical

 

historical

metaphorical

 

biblical

infinitesimal

 

intellectual

contextual

 

proximal

distal

 

medial

lateral

 

bilateral

symmetrical

 

eternal

ephemeral 

 

environmental

existential

 

whimsical 

practical

 

financial

farcical

 

variable

predictable

 

indelible

washable

 

sequential

accidental

 

digital 

scribble

 

comical

sensible

 

reasonable

logical

 

expendable

essential

 

nonessential

peripheral

 

incremental

exponential

 

statistical

anal

 

habitual

oral

 

insatiable

full

 

multiple

serial

 

single

available

 

tangible

visible

 

technical

spiritual

 

residual

bountiful

 

dreadful

beautiful

 

artificial

biological

 

ancestral

orchestral

 

probable

actuarial

 

mathematical

numerical

 

alphabetical

allegorical

 

superficial

susceptible

 

sexual

perpetual

 

perennial

annual

 

arboreal

terrestrial 

 

industrial

commercial

 

residential

cubical

 

hypothetical

factual

 

electrical

manual

 

anthropomorhical 

phantasmagorical

 

quadrupedal

vestigial 

 

coincidental

conspiratorial

 

 

let’s roll


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937 Boat Street

May 3, 2024

"if you don't like the weather

wait 5 minutes"

 

 


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zombie crossing

May 2, 2024

morality lessons

April 30, 2024

Fable

 

I’m tired of meaning, says the tortoise

to the hare, who agrees. The lions

 

and crows don’t disagree, and the snake

chimes in: It would be better if we didn’t 

 

have to moonlight as morality lessons. 

Exactly, says the chicken. I’d like to let

 

loose once in a while, I’d like to

stretch my wings, she says. Yes, 

 

says the fox. You should get out

of your pen more, says the fox. You

 

should let me help, says the fox,

opening the latch to the evening. 

 

It was a fine evening and a fine

conclusion they were coming to,

 

thought the fox, helping 

the chicken out of her feathers. 

 

 

 

—Andrea Cohen

 

Poetry May 2024 

Volume 224, #2, page 105

reprinted here

without permission 

 


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create a space that brings you joy

April 29, 2024

Wheel Fanatyk  pint cup


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one glove

April 27, 2024

“One” 

U2

 

Is it getting better?

Or do you feel the same?

Will it make it easier on you now?

You got someone to blame

 

You say, one glove, one life

When it's one need in the night

One glove, we get to share it

Leaves you baby if you don't care for it

 

Did I disappoint you?

Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?

You act like you never had glove

And you want me to go without

 

for the past couple weeks I was seeing a glove in a doorway of Bagley Hall at 3790 Okanogan Lane Box #351700. Propped up by someone in hopes that its rightful owner would see it and take it home. 

 

Then this week I saw another glove displayed in the Ocean Sciences Building at 1492 Boat Street Box #355355. lost but never found. 

 

Yesterday I decided to grab the Bagley glove and chuck it in the electric ass bathtub. Then a few hours later I rescued the OSB glove. I put them together to take this photo and that's when I learned that one was right and one was left and I created a new pair of gloves. A mismatched chilly spring morning commute pair of gloves. 

 

“Losing one glove is certainly painful,

but nothing compared to the pain,

of losing one, throwing away the other,

and finding the first one again.”

Piet Hein

 

 


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electrode potential

April 26, 2024

crow

knows

this

 

crow 

knows

that

 

dissimilar

metals

stack

 

steel

copper

aluminum 

 

speaking 

different

languages

 

saying 

same

thing

 

4130

6061

220-221

 

whatever

it 

takes 

 


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twoferwasser

April 23, 2024

justabunchapicturesof39

April 23, 2024

if an electric ass mailman

knocks at the door

but there’s nobody there

to let him in

 

does it make a sound? 




When you’re a bike messenger, a real bike messenger, not a jimmy john or an uber eats or a panda express…  …when you’re a bike messenger there’s a part of your brain that grows to absorb street addresses, numbers, letters, directionals and subtle clues that make a big difference. It all gets whittled down to a shorthand lexicon lingo spoken by those in the know and it fits like a glove or maybe a tea cozy over a 3-D map of the city that exists only in your brain.  

 

you know

I know 

you know

 

Just as the brains of baristas burn new neural pathways to absorb all the nonfat decaf no foam extra hot 3 sweet-n-low vanilla fucking bullshit without blinking an eye, keeping a straight face. 

 

Your messenger brain is trained to visualize, categorize, optimize, epitomize the traveling salesman problem. Working it out in real time and space on two wheels with a satchel over your shoulder cutting through traffic and parked cars and pedestrians and MID ambassadors as well as legal secretaries, security guards, mom & pops, broken elevators and bad dispatchers. 

 

I believe that that there part of my brain was exercised enough as a real messenger so that here & now it continues to kick ass as an electric ass mailman. Which is perhaps one reason why I’m constantly dumbfounded by the stupid little shit my current coworkers cannot seem to wrap their heads around. If you see the same things, the same numbers, the same addresses 10, 20, 50 times a day for years and years, how can it not sink in??? How can you not remember that shit??? Didn’t we talk about the UW Police Station yesterday? And the day before? And last week? And the week before that?   3939 University is not 3939 15th Ave. 3910 15th Ave is not 3910 Montlake Ave. 3751 Stevens is not 3715 Stevens. 4060 Stevens Way is not Box 4060… …and 4000 15th Ave doesn’t mean shit…  …and so on and so on and so on

 

At that big state university on the Montlake Cut, each department is assigned a Box Number. With the combination of street addresses and box #s there's an infinitely variable amount of ways to fuck it up. A sloppy slurry of numbers. Add ignorance and apathy to taste. Sprinkle with dyslexia and serve at room temperature Monday through Friday. 

 

just a bunch of pictures of 3939

 


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intention

April 23, 2024

just like bike

April 21, 2024

With all the good/evil that is google, they make it very easy to create documents and keep track of them. google.docs beats the shit out of Microsoft's offerings in the same category. google makes it very easy to generate word clouds and look back on things. to sum it up. retrospectively. 

 

If I was technologically proficient I’d be sharing actual word clouds with you, not just screen shots of them. Then you could scroll over them with your cursor and the tally for each word would pop up as well as its percentage of the total word count. 

 

I recently created seven word clouds from this site in the past six years or so. I saved a few of them here, because they’re all so similar, there's no need to save seven. As you know I’m repeatedly repeating the same old shit. 

 

The words in the previous 12 years of this site are not so easy to clump together, to run the numbers. Perhaps I could refer back to the printed pages I have stored in large 3-ring binders from 2011, to tally word counts by hand with a pencil in a small spiral notebook. Or not. I’m pretty sure those 12 year’s word clouds would look a lot like these 6 year’s word clouds. Lather rinse repeat. 

 

In all the clouds like & bike are near the center. Over the years there are fewer legal messengers and more electric asses. More postcards bro. More junior juniors. Todd Beamer comes and goes. Let’s Roll. And there is always plenty of coffee and beer as well as shit fuck fucking fucks.  But I was happy to see there wasn’t much rain

 

word

 


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