what was that? is that all there is? who is this? this is it.

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beer - coffee - beer

May 17, 2022

 

 

 

the continuum 

continues continuously 

across state lines

 

 

 


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is it raining?

May 15, 2022

 

"Above-average rainfall expected in Seattle"

 

read the sensational headline of the story that ran with this photo

 

how could you not want to read more about the rain in Seattle?

 

Pulitzer prize winning journalism it is not

 

but I appreciate the photo

 


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strava this

May 13, 2022

habitrails

status quo bro

same        same

same    same

d i f f e r e n t

one of these kids

is doing his own thing

in an ongoing effort 

to maintain the lifestyle 

he has grown accustomed to

coo  coo  ca-choo

the Double Daydream IIPA 

kinda sneaks up on you

careful be

for  what

wish   you  

 


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May 12, 1997

May 12, 2022

as I sit here in 2022 with wet socks, swamp ass and cold hands, wearing a winter coat and reading about how this could be the shittiest May 12th on record...

...it occurs to me that today is May 12th


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if riding a shitty bike isn't shitty enough, we found a way to make it shittier

May 12, 2022

 

 

 

why didn't I think of that?


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you say potato, i say whatever bro

May 11, 2022

These days when you say Bagley, I say chemistry as I visualize the metric shit-ton of Amazon packages delivered there each week, schlepped electric-assist bathtub style those final fifty fucking feet. 

 

Bagley Hall, home of the Chemistry Department, is named after Reverend Daniel Bagley who was kind of a big deal back in the 1850s when Seattle was a little village and UW was just an idea. 

 

But some days, when you say Bagley, it reminds me of another guy

 

no, not that guy

 

that Guy   

 

Guy Bagley

 


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sour grapes

May 10, 2022

all in your mind

all the time

 

in your dreams

the struggle is real

 

achieving that

unachievable ideal

 

sour grapes 

reimagined

 

double standard

hypocrisy

 

in you it’s

so easy to see

 

the denial 

in me

 

how can your brain 

not run with a story 

 

inspired by the puddle of puke

in the elevator vestibule 

 

piles of last night’s 

spicy chicken yakisoba

 

visions of a celebration

of one   and one too many

 

one significant impact

unlocking the full potential

 

can you see through it all?

look beyond    the theme

 

get behind the scenes

check  the  technique

 

crisp     flip

toggle switch

 

ON or OFF         no

halfass halfbaked halfway

 

neither here nor            there

once was a man from Racine

 

singer songwriter

sword swallower

 

horseshit

#influencer

 

doodie bag   dental pick

swisher sweet       KN95

 

ramifications of the question

can any trained monkey do it?

 

don’t assume everyone with 

the information can do the job

 


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BIG TIME time

May 9, 2022

a raindrop from

      the roof

fell in my beer

 

--Jack Kerouac

 

 

 

 

 

 

Big Time time   big time


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Al Gore invented the internet to share kitten photos (ONE YEAR LATER)

May 5, 2022

May the 4th be with you

May 4, 2022

crow — refuses

             to pose for

your haiku

 

crow — snatches

             clif bar before

you can blink

 

crow — rubs

            your face

in it   bro

 

 

well here I am... sitting on a chair staring at the clouds mowing on a clif bar thinking of not drinking more coffee right around 2pm toting a book of haiku flipping to any random page pondering the vision three short lines can bring inviting my crow friend to take part riffing on Kerouac shedding 5-7-5 constraints realizing he wants no part of it he wants the fucking food 

 


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we got to move these refrigerators

May 3, 2022

"still life with mini fridge" 2022


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is it raining?

May 2, 2022

that ain't workin, that's the way you do it

April 28, 2022

he's a messenger, a reminder...

April 27, 2022

A few feet to the right of the crow-eats-peanut-off-campus-map-show there’s a handiramp outside the Atmospheric Sciences Geophysics building spitting distance from a blind corner obscured by shrubbery. Right around 8:29 am Monday through Friday, one dude freewheels down it and across Okanogan Lane to store his bike,  while another dude rolls up it to enter the ATG building. From my vantage point muttering to myself or talking with crows and schlepping packages I can hear each dude’s freewheel singing,  approaching from different directions and without looking at my watch I know it’s nearly 8:30. Although my watch always says 3:33 so it wouldn’t matter. 

 

Just yesterday morning…  …both dudes hit the handiramp at the same time and dude #2 says “watch it!” then dude #1 gives a long angry but silent questioning why-don’t-you-fucking-watch-it look over his shoulder as he keeps rolling. 

 

I continued muttering to myself and wondering how this could not be the first time these two dudes, who work in the same building, 50 fucking feet from each other, have had a close call. How could these two dudes not know each other? How can this be the first time this “almost” almost happened? Have they not talked about bikes before? Have they not discussed the merits of single speeds or the hype of Cannondales in the late 80’s? Have they not run into each other before? How can this be? 

 

Fast forward  23 hours, 59 minutes and 45 seconds to this morning in the midst of feeding my crow bro peanuts,  I hear dude #1’s freewheel and watch him for a moment to see where he stores his bike when half a moment later dude #2 hits the handiramp.  

 

I smile and momentarily ponder the worn out old story problem and the variation I drafted 12 years ago about two commuters meeting at the same spot plus or minus 10 seconds each weekday morning and the infinite number of variables that have to fall into place for these two seemingly unrelated sequences of events to coincide.  Insert here some math textbook references, asterisks and footnotes citing the Burke Gilman Effect which I also coined sometime in the last 27 years. But I’ve been there - done that and today’s story problem pondering didn’t last too long 

 

because of a unique package delivery, there was a subtle difference in the routing of my route this morning, but my crow bro caught on and seamlessly transitioned,  joining the route already in progress. He actually got a little touchy, some might say aggressive and followed me to Chemical Engineering. Flying low he slapped me on my left shoulder with a wing after I only offered up one peanut. We had a little chat and then I gave him a few more peanuts over at Atmospheric Sciences. 

 

Around about that same time Bret in ABQ was emailing me a digital copy of this Raven sign bounce passing it off a satellite orbiting earth and hitting my phone perfectly on the fly. The words it strings together speak to me on several levels and once again everything is coming together. 

 


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triumvirate

April 26, 2022

perforate

perpetrate

punctuate

 

expectorate

masticate

regurgitate

 

prorate

precipitate

permeate

 

differentiate

orchestrate

hyperventilate

 

pontificate

guesstimate

hallucinate

 

procrastinate

exaggerate

complicate

 

manipulate

misallocate

appropriate

 

fabricate

amalgamate

generate

 

reciprocate

validate

captivate

 

deviate

levitate

pixelate

 

ruminate

nauseate

rehydrate

 

articulate

triangulate

exfoliate

 

interrogate

extrapolate

circumnavigate

 

 

 


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27" steel wheel

April 22, 2022

4:20 bro

April 20, 2022

the trajectory was clear

on the X - Y axis

 

the Z axis however

was lost on me

 

the Uber came to an abrupt halt then a passenger door flew open and a frat boy hopped out never looking up from his phone walking around the front of the car and then the Uber did a quick jaunt to the right and a full U-turn left 

 

whatever bro

 

variations on the theme 

play out in slow motion 

 

all around 

at all times 

on all days

 

get in line

pay your taxes

don’t ask questions

 

do me a favor

don't do me any favors

 

arbitrary goals  set

and      then      met

 

there’s no sense of accomplishment

no looking back to admire a day’s work

 

it’s a treadmill

stationary bike like

 

what’s next !?!

is that all there is? 

 

used to do a little

but a little wouldn’t do

so the little got more and more

 

trapped in a man-sized Skinner box pressing the lever with efficient frequency or frequent efficiency but the returns are clearly diminishing in a constant cost-benefit analysis. In the beginning the reward pellets were more sub sub sub substantial. It was as if they actually meant something

 

there is no reward for hard work

just as there is no penalty for being a gold bricking cherry picking total sack of shit 

 

ask me about sustainability

 

inflatable pools with unpatchable leaks leaching plasticky poofs of last summer’s last breath

 

spent toner cartridges packed up with postage-paid return labels if that makes you feel better thinking they’ll be recycled but they’re just on their way to a landfill in Eastern Washington

 

talking the talk sounds good on Earth Day

 

you’re all fucked  –The Replacements

 

it seems “tall drip” is written in sharpie on my forehead. The barista knows me and my coffee. A little further along the continuum and the forehead sharpie message reads “IPA” 

 

—OK google suck it out of my ass and save it on a server somewhere so you can sell it back to me later—

 

Cut & Paste the above statement into your browser a few times and take note  

 

 


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all your bikes look the same

April 19, 2022

ss db

April 14, 2022

 

same shit different bike

first stop in the morning

last stop last night

 

one more time around

round trip

cycle

 

 


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no fuss no muss

April 12, 2022

 

    actual pilder's deli ad   circa 1960

 

 

 

Ask me about Cincinnati 

Ask me if I got a little schmaltz in me

 

Ask me about authenticity 

Ask me about emotional intelligence

 

Ask me about the font

Ask me about habitrails 

 

Ask me about economic indicators

Ask me about a consumer price index

 

Ask me about the price of beef

Ask me about the price of beer 

 

Ask me if inflation is really real

Ask me about wage stagnation

 

Ask me about the placebo effect

Ask me about the Doppler effect

 

Ask me about my weekend  

Ask me if I’m your Bucky

    

Ask me about Izod golf pants

Ask me if it’s raining




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