what was that? is that all there is? who is this? this is it.

just got home from a Cave Singers show but it was in my basement and I was the only one there so I guess I never left never went anywhere never say never whatever my friend Cat told me about the show so I clicked in and it was good sincerely for real really heavily sponsored on youtube live it was and perhaps it will be on youtube so you too can live it live later

the average person swallows one quart of mucus every day

for the record I have no recollection of the events in question and without sufficient information I can neither confirm nor deny any allegations. but sincerely for real really I have a pretty good memory and that’s the same coozie different year (2007 & 2021) same coozie much more expensive beer.  today's my friday and I can hear Tom Bice saying, “don’t start your weekend too early” after he quotes Loverboy’s Working for the Weekend 

I keep doing the same thing over and over

but I'm not expecting different results

android   vs   iphone

same switch plate

different day

two bike messengers walk into a bar 

the bartender says, “that’s $33.69 (for a six pack of tall cans) and you can’t drink em here” 

two double-blind placebo-controlled messenger RNA walk into a bar

the bartender says, “no covid jokes bro”

two bike messengers try to walk into a bar

but it's closed

until further notice

a helium filled alien bovine balloon invaded this thrift store t-shirt where the grass isn’t always greener because it’s orange whip? orange whip? three orange whips and no wire hangers bro unless it’s in the silkscreen department of redundancy department where i have 21 black t-shirts and 3 orange ones and that big big 3 iron-on was already ironed-on by the previous owner when i hastily ad-hoc’d the orange whips this became my favorite t-shirt but y'all won’t see it anyway until st patricks day because it’s buried under 5 layers of clothing    is it raining?  

PLEASE STAY BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE

removes 10 years of yellow stains*

*when ridden twice a day 

for four weeks

for twelve months 

for three years 

same train 

different day

DOORS TO MY LEFT

DOORS TO MY RIGHT

stand up     sit down

see  a  little  light @@@

DO NOT HOLD THE DOORS

HOLDING DOORS DELAYS TRAINS FOR ALL RIDERS

one tall can for me

one      giant      hole

in the local economy

everything's fucked

have a beer

a  Big Time  beer:

Return of the Fist IPA - "Through the challenging times that we face in our lives we have to dig down deep and find a way to persevere. A way to change and be better. We cannot do this alone and we cannot rely on someone else to do it. The struggles are daily and they are real. Together we can make the change we need. Brewed with SVM Copeland Pale, GW 2-row- and Munich malts. Hopped with Amarillo, Comet, and Cascade. This beer is full bodied with the bitterness to back it up. Notes that are floral, spicy, and citrusy. $1 from every pint will be donated to ACLU. This beer also represents a battle that our owner Rick has been fighting after an accident where he lost two fingers on his right hand. After almost a two year struggle, he can finally make a fist again. Demonstrating what hard work and never giving up can accomplish. So raise a fist, raise a pint, and help us raise money for ACLU. 6.8% 60 IBUs"

I know a guy that once said more than once:

“find what works and wear it into the ground”

This has kinda sorta been my philosophy on clothing as well as bike parts and or bike clothing and bike maintenance too.  There’s some trial and error in there and learning from experience.  The ensemble or getup I wear to work every day is 90% thrift store scores that have taken a while to accumulate sprinkled with a few key new items. Multiple layers in the winter and dependable things year round. When I was an Elliott Bay Messenger I had a polypro long sleeve baselayer that I wore until the entire back wore out to nothing at all. I ignored the threadbare patches until it just fell apart.  I still have a pair of double front tights that I had when I worked downtown over 10 years ago. When I find something that works I wear the shit out of it until I can’t wear it anymore and then I have a hard time finding suitable replacements. 

I don't believe you can just walk into REI and purchase the perfect outfit. I'm sure you've seen those that try. Just as you cannot replicate the smell of a messenger. Authenticity is earned. 

I’m in the process of ordering my 4th Double Darn cap. I prefer the Hunter Cap in an understated dark thin winter wool which works 9.5 months out of the year here in Seattle. A cotton cap is great for the Seattle summers.  My current Double Darn cap has been worn day-in-day-out so much that my helmet has worn a hole in the forehead. 

Misia makes a fine cap. She can custom make them too if you have a big head like me. My old lady has a couple Double Darns and Junior Junior and Junior have been through a few too. 

The day before yesterday I was northbound on Walla Walla Road when I spotted a glove and then its partner a split second later so I circled around and picked them up. They’d be right at home at a tailgate party in Ames in November shotgunning ice cold cans of Milwaukees Best. On an electric assist cargo bike ride to Magnuson Park in December they're chunky clunky getting stucky in the throttle and trigger shifter but they're warm warm warm with thinsulate and gore tex. When I signaled to turn right onto 65th my hands appeared to disappear into the surrounding plantlife. 

A couple months back I found a pair of Showers Pass pilgrim buckle gloves splayed out at 3917 University Way NE. They say it’s the National Geographic logo but the pilgrim buckle fits. They were size small so I passed them on to my old lady and then bought myself a pair because I liked the feel of them. These gloves are ok for most of the Seattle winter. However they run small and the fingers are short so I feel kinda like a muppet. I shoulda coulda woulda bought the next size up (XL) if they weren’t sold out.  When I was there shopping in PDX virtually I also purchased a mask Wearing a face mask 50+ hours a week really sucks but this is the best mask I’ve worn so far. The lining charged with negative ions may or may not be snakeoil but this mask doesn’t get skanky as fast as all the others I’ve tried. 

About 15 years ago I found a pair of gloves in the lobby of One Union Square. I still have them today and I still wear them sometimes. This is Koshalla borrowing those gloves on a chilly December morning in 2007. These gloves are cheesy kinda funky like your grandpa’s drawers but they have a layer of thinsulate so they’re warm. They remind me to not take anything too seriously. They remind me of this Dan Marino commercial. These gloves would never be seen on the Rapha-Castelli bros raging around the lake. 

I took this photo 10+ years ago and back then the bike made me laugh. Now it makes me smirk or maybe it’s a wince. I’m not just ten years older, I spent 5 of those years refurbishing bikes. Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of bikes in a small nonprofit bike shop. 

Refurbishing a bike for resale is about sizing up where you are and visualizing where you’d like to go, staying in the realm of reality and working with what you have to create something greater than the sum of its parts for the new used bike owner. 

This is like a bike that was refurbished by an over enthusiastic volunteer at Bike Works trying to utilize everything all at once.  Now it’s awaiting a bolt check from a staff mechanic. But when the volunteer goes home, the staff mechanic starts over and rebuilds the entire thing.  I’m all about swept back bars and thumb shifters but this is not the time or the place for rootbeer brown glitter grips. I want to skip those brake levers across the surface of a pristine alpine lake. The in-line barrel adjusters for the friction shifters is over the top and maybe just a remnant from its past life.   

This bike is the poster child for trying too hard to look like it's not trying too hard. 

This bike contains way more than one cubic centimeter of bullshit. (see Albert Eisentraut)

This bike is 27lbs of shit in a 14lb bag. 

This is a road bike in a crappy cruiser costume. 

This bike is using needle nose pliers as a chisel. 

This bike smells like a thin veneer of air freshener over shit. 

I applaud everyone that rides a bike to the grocery store or the library or to work every fucking day. I chuckle at the Castelli-Rapha bros who rage around Lake Washington but would never think of riding a single speed with platform pedals to their dentist appointment or just commuting to work.  

I applaud this dude, who may or may not be an attorney, for attempting to slow down and enjoy the ride on one of his old road bikes. He's on the right track.  I’m not just a bikesnob shit talker. This bike is barking up the right tree it just doesn’t know when to shut up. 

$6.06 is the total with tax for a “Mark” and a 12 oz drip coffee at Bean & Bagel, one of the only coffee shops left in the Northern Hemisphere. I asked what I could add on like avocado or something to get an extra 60 cents exact but it hasn’t worked out yet. If it does work they can change the name to "mark of the beast" if served with a 12 oz drip. When you purchase 10,000 bagel sandwiches and tip well they put your sandwich on the menu and name it after you. Or maybe that’s just me. This story is tangential but everything’s related to everything else somewhere along the line. 

6061 is the precipitation-hardened aluminum alloy containing magnesium and silicon as its major alloying elements in Junior’s new used Redline Conquest that Santa picked up at Bike Works the other day.  He also grabbed a Specialized HotRock for Junior Junior but that’s another story and he’ll be riding this Conquest soon enough. 

Although someone at Bike Works proudly built this thing with 8-speed brifters I knew I would ditch them the day after Christmas and put on some thumb shifters after Junior got her hands on those drop bars. In the recent past when I worked on bikes for friends Junior would say she wanted drop bars and I would smile and say someday. Well that day came and went and before I even got the new cables and housing hooked up Junior was installing spoke straws and valve caps and transferring accessories. This ride is much lighter than her 20” pink BMX tank and the choice of gears makes the ride home from anywhere much easier. 

Shaggy's holiday cards kick ass

tacked another one on the wall 

slather on 

by the gallon

lather

no rinse

repeat

touch this 

touchless

sensitive

motion sensor 

hand sanitizer dispenser

torqued               trajectory  

jizzed all over my jacket

what’s next?  

December cheers to gas station parking lot beers all the way across Iowa in July 

those who say   don't know

those who know   don't say

the pattern repeats

the patterns repeat

aren't you glad

I didn't say unprecedented