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pilderwasser  pilder what? new spew snap shots autoBIKEography RAGBRAI  ---P--- slide shows phot-o-rama 1/2 x 3/32 links

the prius effect redux

February 7, 2010

floss

February 6, 2010

the cash machine spits out 20s
I reach for them as if they’re mine
but they elude me                

because they cannot be possessed
only redirected
into the local economy

17 pints of IPA
what a normal man would do      at full retail
consumer price index this            that

the giddy new owner of
an atrophy trophy
displayed proudly       atop the TV

Shiba Inu   hula hoop   cherry blossom
onion dome   slumlord   storm drain
free-range notary   chimney sweep    Frisbee

13th Avenue Saturday smells
a bit different than the other six days
placebo effect

spoon   knife   forklift operator
six-pack lunch  tall boy  roadmaster      
prescription lens sunglass  shadow monster

asshole visible     up in the air
on the table      cat show cat
what were you thinking           imagine that    

socially acceptable  sense of entitlement
as learned in school             the way it is
it just is                   it’s what you do

what does a duck say?
what does a cow do?
what does a green light go?

disposable gloves disposed of
on the spot      on the sidewalk
for me or someone   someone else to take care of

clueless conscientious tooth flosser        and your
toothpick single-serving fucking floss things
discarded in the 4th Ave revolving door at King

dumping an old dryer in the cul-de-sac
an exercise bike left at the trailhead
shooting up refrigerators in the gravel pit

twin toaster architecture       zip tie justice
it’s worse when you lie about it              like
Stupor Bowl stories of the one that got away

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postmodern neo retro black and white photo

February 6, 2010

two dimensional medium

February 5, 2010

portrait of the artist as a decaf mocha
bubble tea symphony        tapioca
the sound of one loofah hand clapping  

opposable thumbs up
that’s what I said    articulated   straw
been bent              I’m across the street

look over there where that looks like this
if a tree falls in the woods and no one
is there to care           who cares   


a bag full of golf clubs
a garage full of bicycles
a closet full of sweater vests

so many to choose from
go with the favorite
the one liked best

on a Friday in February
the 5-iron of sweater vests
the full fendered rain bike

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peek-a-boo view

February 4, 2010

A stereotypical caricature of an exaggeration. Fat, bald and 57 driving a red convertible. Top down. Heater cranked. Adult contemporary blaring. Comb-over fluttering in the wind.  Waiting at the light. Fresh silver hoop in the left ear. Bluetooth in the right.    

take the training wheels off
pull the trigger
pushback

A real cliché packing contest. How many can this guy put in one conversation?  Is this a joke? Is this a FedEx commercial? Is this Dexter Avenue? Is this really happening?


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overflowing with gourmet chocolate-dipped apple wedges, pineapple daisies, strawberries, grapes, cantaloupe and honeydew.

February 3, 2010

patterns emerge from the randomness
as edible fruit arrangements
and counterfeit lottery tickets are
hand-delivered via messenger
to the last known mailing address
of each and every person on earth

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Lazy Susan

February 2, 2010

gas-powered lazy susan
spinning    spinning   out of control
fast         far past its intended use
condiments cannot be contained
at these speeds
salt n pepper electrons
launched well beyond
typical breakfast nook orbits

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Q-tip

February 1, 2010

Duchamp knew the score
mood descending staircase
elevator out of service
take the caffeine up to level two
like déjà vu   but    less interesting
more like 1111 3rd Avenue
blah blah blasé      beige
showing the universal sign for boring
traffic patterns trod into carpet
bobsled track feedback loop groundhog day
well worn habit trails      grease the rails
a dab of olive oil on a Q-tip should do the trick
change your panties   take it down  
change octaves   break it up      break out
breakfast steel cut oats strawberries and cream
100% wool   made in Italy   dry clean only
I liked it so much     I bought the company
front foot fakey like Fever’s lock used to be
funky like your grandpa’s drawers
those zebra-print pants make you look trashy
that hound’s-tooth coat makes you look stodgy
every photo brings to mind another on file
getting all Getty        stock images
cookie cutter    cut n paste
seen one      seen them all  
all 3.6 billion units sold in North America
we haven’t raised the price in 12 years
the portions just got smaller          and smaller
when every sentence seems to be
a variation on another    written long ago
recycled recombinant reworked
referential      homage
nothing new under the sun
on a cloudy day
creativity could be access to a healthy library
that’s what she said             or not
if you haven’t shifted gears
for six months   or more
consider the concept single-speededly


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bear market

January 30, 2010

In this economic environment it’s a matter of what the market will bear or bare. As in shake down cook down distill slow cook boil over then simmer down. Like that sticky residue on the rice cooker. Continued cutbacks and empty storefronts.  Seattle is bit behind the curve or on some other curve altogether. A warped curve that looks different around the 48th parallel and west of Cascades. Whatever that means…take the messenger industry for example. More specifically take a little look at the Seattle messenger industry as a mini microcosm of microeconomic indicators from which to extrapolate some bullshit predictions about the entire world economy. It’ll make as much sense as anything you’ve been hearing from the experts in DC on CNN or NPR. I got your consumer confidence right here.

In the salad days heyday Seattle was rolling over 206 messengers strong. When a bike could still beat a fax machine and travel agents printed paper plane tickets on dot-matrix printers. When dot-com venture capital was littering the streets sidewalks and elevator banks. When investors thought Kozmo.com had a viable business plan. When vacancy rates were under 5%.  

Today, we’re down to about 35 bike messengers in the Emerald City. The behemoth ABC is relatively small, with only 11 riders. Jimmy Johns has  surpassed them as the biggest company in town (I didn‘t  add their riders to the grand total). Fleetfoot is vaporizing. Stealth is hourly. And at Attention-to-Detail Legal, I now have only 1.5 coworkers on the street.

Bike messenger companies won’t go away completely but they’ll look different. Just like stock brokers and bankers look a little different in 2010. Developers investors construction companies architects engineers and lawyers… look different. Messengers start their own messenger companies and turn into owners who then lose their street cred get fat and go out of business. Corrections in the market by the market. Outliers reeled back in or just left out to dry up.  Bullshit bubbles popped and pooped. Gravy trains derailed. Gravy dogs go to law school get married have kids graduate school medical school nursing school law firm mailrooms film school rock star organic farm Microsoft construction FedEx PDX bookstore coffee shop river guide ski patrol dishwasher writer. Moving on growing up dropping out selling out.

Where do I signup to sellout?

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good enough for government work

January 29, 2010

myna bird 98101

January 28, 2010

Busses : pigeons
picking up scraps they congregate on 3rd Avenue

Taxis : seagulls
unpredictable and hungry

Messengers : crows
intelligent crafty and willing to play dirty

Armored cars : road kill
big & dumb   anywhere anytime

Peds : lemmings
stupid is    stupid does

Cops : raccoons with rabies
they bite

Tourists : barnacles
proliferate in favorable conditions
will become a problem left unattended

Receptionists : lawn ornaments
often attractive, however it may be difficult
to determine their actual purpose  

Attorneys : rats
will survive a nuclear war
adapt  feed  profit

Dispatchers : myna birds
they know not what they say
they only repeat what they heard

Security guards : zoo animals
caged confined confused

Court clerks : circus animals
well trained
you know the routine so just play along

Fixie hipster kids : peacocks
all show no substance
can actually be annoying and dangerous
 
Commuters : zebra mussels
non-native invasive species
clogging up the works


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song bird on 3rd

January 27, 2010


Free-form right on red passing iPod ped in the crosswalk

She can’t hear me
She can only hear  her sweet sweet Kenny G
She’s startled and of course    she blames me

She can’t see shit
Umbrella propped up
Hooded jacket cinched down



Don’t worry lady    I saw you all the way
Relax         keep slurping your latte


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COME TO BASS

January 27, 2010

look ma   no job
refresh   reload    renew
move to Portland     start over
on a bike     in a bike-related way    
in a price-is-no-object pipe dream world
lugged stainless Reynolds 953 pipes
strength-to-weight ratio turning over and over
not sure that’s the answer
please repeat the question
feisty like your Lane Powell girlfriend
on a trip down attention deficit lane
hop scotching skip subject to subject
switching partners in a mental square dance
a stones throw from half-a-world away
one foot here   there   where
the other foot was     will be
regrade retrofit compilation greatest hit
9-digit confirmation code required
on the side   a cut-n-paste tossed salad
mix tape open face patty melt
for here and to go
copy 

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Brad

January 26, 2010

Brad S. Pilder
May 7, 1996  -  January 25, 2010

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verklempt

January 25, 2010

verklempt    choked up    anaphylactic shock
stigmata piñata     can’t beat it with a stick

waiting for a bus that may or may not arrive
it could be a rush         it could be a next-day

it all pays the same
get what you paid for    it's what you get paid for

radius diameter circumference
it comes around               you know how it is

right            something left
residual residue     a waxy yellow buildup

don’t standup to dance in a canoe    and
on the eve of RAGBRAI don’t buy new shoes

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calendar dates to commemorate

January 24, 2010

January 28, 2010
Cheap Wine & Poetry   aka  Cheap Beer & Prose
7:00pm at the Richard Hugo House

 

 

February 13, 2010
Not quite Valentine’s Day
Check it out and help out Counterbalance Racing


 

Februaryish, 2010
Those guys down at DANK bags
are working on something cool


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that's how I roll

January 23, 2010

it seemed like a good idea at the time
we knew it going in
the exit strategy   built in
that’s how I roll    touch n go
she watched channel zero
side effects effectively affected my affect
getting scolded by the librarian   again
butter sour cream cheddar cheese bacon
jumbo baked potato somewhere under there
Barcelona chairs  high ceiling  natural light
standing by  sitting down
inertia weighed-in with its 2 cents
what   who   where   why    when
the idea of messenger
the image   the concept   the theory  
the lifestyle  the bike  the bag  the wardrobe
however     like 25 always said
“they can never get the smell right”
plowed right back into the local economy
in and out of context sequence syntax
the stinger embedded   the venom sac intact
do not pinch   remove with a scraping motion
accepting debit or credit cards from any major bank  
they don’t make ‘em like they used to
acid-free archival quality ask Noam Chomsky
intended audience  target  focus
surgical precision     blanket bombing
napalm shower massage adjustable head
burning curling iron aroma
topped off with some serious hairspray
diabetic diuretic dietetic dialectic    Dianetics
John Travolta  what have you done for me lately
catchy little bouncy acronyms disguise 
government contracts guaranteed through 2012
in conclusion    finally    in summary     
Ye Olde Curiosity  killed the cat

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quintessential pickle

January 22, 2010

I know a shortcut   follow me

jump around     jump     around

hanging around   sticking      lingering
like the Sanford & Son theme song

my Phrenologist told me to drink red wine
a glass or two is good   she says

so a 5-liter box must be better

cheers

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get well soon Dean

January 22, 2010

on the sunny side of the street

January 20, 2010

On the back side    the odd side
The other side   the east side
I’ll meet you there   where  there’re
Thicker thins and deeper shallows
Faster slows and higher lows
On the sunny side of the street

If you’re seeking a cohesive narrative
A logical linear progression
With a smooth story line that unfolds in
Complete sentences and paragraph structure
You’ve come to the wrong place
So
What you want to do is walk up to
13th & Pine and wait for a bus
Tell the driver you need to   
Get down in Fraggle Rock
Or
You can connect the dots
Spackle the holes
Fill in the gaps
With dumptruck loads of inference
Twigs and scraps of yarn-infused guesswork

Force-fit into the framework of reference
You’ve constructed over time in your mind
With or without conscious effort
It’s there and it’s not going anywhere

What? Excuse me? What was that?
Take it to the Hearing Examiner
Present it to the Board of Equalization
Or just keep it out of my face

Beaver dams  peanut butter & log jams
Mud slides and roller coaster rides

Tip your Jimmy John accordingly
Although he makes more money than me
He’s got your whole lunch    in his hands

Brand new tennis balls skewered
On the legs of your walker
Scuffing down the sidewalk
Not so smoothly   friction   resistance
We’re not in linoleum anymore

I’d buy that for a dollar
$1.10 with tax

Tax Man Trims
Tuesday through Saturday 11-7
Walk-ins welcome
But don’t worry
He’ll catch up to you eventually
20% lopped straight off the top
Additional penalties on the side   high & tight

The Karma carousel comes around
He who spit gum on sidewalk
Get gum on shoe

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