what was that? is that all there is? who is this? this is it.

well I’ve never been to heaven but I’ve been to Oklahoma…

I have never been to Louisiana but I have been to the Bike Works warehouse sale which is where I got this Jean Lafitte National Historical Park and Preserve souvenir water bottle for less than 50 cents (NWT)

Since I purchased the water bottle I learned a bit about Mr. Jean Lafitte but what really interests me is how things like this end up at a small nonprofit bike shop and chucked in a box with all the other shit nobody wants. Then months later the box is pulled out of storage hoping some sucker like me will buy that shit at the annual warehouse sale. If not it's just shipped off to a landfill in eastern Washington. 

Did somebody get this from their grandma in New Orleans? Did somebody buy this for their grandma when they took a field trip to the historical park and preserve? 

It’s not such a great water bottle in the context of cycling but it is translucent purple plastic and it makes me laugh and it can teach you a tiny little bit about Jean Lafitte and supply chain logistics. 

the Warehouse Sale is Sunday

Apply structural spackle 

with trowel to any cracks visible 

reapply as needed

gratuitously lumpy

lay it on thick 

takes two tries to 

make it stick 

in a stuttering circular motion

counterclockwise 

in the northern hemisphere 

it won’t do anything

but take a coat of paint

until the next real rain 

but it feels like you’re

accomplishing something 

interpolation

extrapolation

pure speculation

misinterpretation

not trying to cause a big sensation

it’s just macular degeneration

lacking the vocabulary 

to accurately describe the taste

or maybe I just don’t care

enough to try

you know what I mean

you know what I mean? 

salty sour bitter smokey

hungry                  or not 

what are you eating under there? 

underwear

. sent this photo yesterday

I kinda like bikes for a lot of reasons and this photo has a lot of bike to like 

and those in the know know that that is Alor's bag 

Rolling off the hill around 8am that day in the snow the streets were quiet but I heard a solitary voice in the distance yell “Matt”  I looked over and yelled “Steve?” We cautiously rode down toward the 98101 but pulled over at 300 E. Pike and pressed our faces to the window and who did we see behind the bar but Krista, one of the all time greatest bartenders ever, prepping to open up in a few hours. She unlocked the door and let us in. I have to say it was a good day or at least it was a good morning in the rose colored nostalgic retrospect that 11+ years allows one to smooth things over with and remember what they choose to remember. 

Psychosomatic is it

looks like shit

smells like shit

there’s a good chance it is shit

a rather strong correlation

can we jump to causation?

supersaturation

if you’re not part of the solution

you’re part of the precipitate

precipitating more precipitation

is it raining? 

an economist and a sociologist walk into a bar  

the bartender says, is this a fucking joke? 

I have some theories 

about what you’re drinking 

but where’s the anthropologist? 

In my mind I see Professor David Gerard (economist) and Professor Jeffrey Kidder (sociologist) walk into a bar. I’m already sitting at my favorite stool in the corner, close enough to hear their conversation but not really contribute too much to it. Just in observation mode I take detailed mental notes but forget half of them. The bartender is playing Yo La Tengo's "I'm not afraid of you and I will beat your ass" at just the right volume. Gerard a former rugby player doesn’t drink anymore so he’s having a soda water.  Kidder a former bike messenger may or may not have a beer. But they’ll both have some interesting commentary on the situation and they both ride bikes. 

The anxiety manifests in a dream taking place in the basement of a medium sized mid century apartment building where all the action apparently happens in a large windowless room filled with antiquated mismatched coin-op laundry machines.  Your load is in the wash almost finished and you cannot find an available dryer. You also have another load to wash and there’s a lot of competition from the 14 other people milling around who seem to be in the same boat. They’re all characters from your past. Some vaguely familiar. Some disturbingly close to home and all up in your face.  

lint filters

dryer ducts

quarter slots

fabric softener

color safe bleach

change machines

people magazines

handmade signs

slathered in scotch tape

OUT OF ORDER 

dim digital readouts

blacked out

spin cycles rocking

racking    clacking 

ticking

timers counting down

It’s all just an extension of sound transit’s anxiety inducing connect 2020. Bikes restricted at the Pioneer Square station where all passengers must exit to continue their trip and there’s no fucking way you’ll get back on with a bike at the International District stop and good luck at University Street. Crush capacity 4-car trains every 12 minutes somehow do not equal 3-car trains every 6 minutes bro. And to top it all off their new recorded messages being barked loudly repeatedly repeated in an annoying middle manager type trying to be authoritative white guy voice telling me to stand behind the yellow line and show proof of payment and not to even think about bikes in Pioneer Square. I prefer the non descript computer generated female voice clearly clear of the uncanny valley. I had the commute dialed in like clockwork and now it’s not and my clothes are wet and there don't seem to be any dryers available and there are so many people up in my face. 

jump bikes 

available near you

form of payment 

proof of payment 

can’t sit down

can’t move 

can’t breathe 

exit to my right 

on demand bike lockers

ticking timers

counting down 

into and out of existence

less is more

everything you need

nothing you don’t

those who say don’t know

those who know don’t say

it’s the same on the weekends

as the rest of the days

radiating from or contracting to

the original source

it won’t go away 

it will only change shape

from nothingness to nothingness

everywhere    anywhere

somewhere   along the way

between renewal and decay