just riding along
January 31, 2020
Jean Lafitte
January 28, 2020
well I’ve never been to heaven but I’ve been to Oklahoma…
I have never been to Louisiana but I have been to the Bike Works warehouse sale which is where I got this Jean Lafitte National Historical Park and Preserve souvenir water bottle for less than 50 cents (NWT)
Since I purchased the water bottle I learned a bit about Mr. Jean Lafitte but what really interests me is how things like this end up at a small nonprofit bike shop and chucked in a box with all the other shit nobody wants. Then months later the box is pulled out of storage hoping some sucker like me will buy that shit at the annual warehouse sale. If not it's just shipped off to a landfill in eastern Washington.
Did somebody get this from their grandma in New Orleans? Did somebody buy this for their grandma when they took a field trip to the historical park and preserve?
It’s not such a great water bottle in the context of cycling but it is translucent purple plastic and it makes me laugh and it can teach you a tiny little bit about Jean Lafitte and supply chain logistics.
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ask me
January 23, 2020
self portrait as a pile of shitty old bikes
January 22, 2020
the Warehouse Sale is Sunday
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first things first
January 22, 2020
Apply structural spackle
with trowel to any cracks visible
reapply as needed
gratuitously lumpy
lay it on thick
takes two tries to
make it stick
in a stuttering circular motion
counterclockwise
in the northern hemisphere
it won’t do anything
but take a coat of paint
until the next real rain
but it feels like you’re
accomplishing something
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macular degeneration
January 18, 2020
interpolation
extrapolation
pure speculation
misinterpretation
not trying to cause a big sensation
it’s just macular degeneration
lacking the vocabulary
to accurately describe the taste
or maybe I just don’t care
enough to try
you know what I mean
you know what I mean?
salty sour bitter smokey
hungry or not
what are you eating under there?
underwear
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walking the walk
January 17, 2020
. sent this photo yesterday
I kinda like bikes for a lot of reasons and this photo has a lot of bike to like
and those in the know know that that is Alor's bag
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revisionist history repeats repeatedly
January 15, 2020
Rolling off the hill around 8am that day in the snow the streets were quiet but I heard a solitary voice in the distance yell “Matt” I looked over and yelled “Steve?” We cautiously rode down toward the 98101 but pulled over at 300 E. Pike and pressed our faces to the window and who did we see behind the bar but Krista, one of the all time greatest bartenders ever, prepping to open up in a few hours. She unlocked the door and let us in. I have to say it was a good day or at least it was a good morning in the rose colored nostalgic retrospect that 11+ years allows one to smooth things over with and remember what they choose to remember.
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supersaturation
January 10, 2020
Psychosomatic is it
looks like shit
smells like shit
there’s a good chance it is shit
a rather strong correlation
can we jump to causation?
supersaturation
if you’re not part of the solution
you’re part of the precipitate
precipitating more precipitation
is it raining?
an economist and a sociologist walk into a bar
the bartender says, is this a fucking joke?
I have some theories
about what you’re drinking
but where’s the anthropologist?
In my mind I see Professor David Gerard (economist) and Professor Jeffrey Kidder (sociologist) walk into a bar. I’m already sitting at my favorite stool in the corner, close enough to hear their conversation but not really contribute too much to it. Just in observation mode I take detailed mental notes but forget half of them. The bartender is playing Yo La Tengo's "I'm not afraid of you and I will beat your ass" at just the right volume. Gerard a former rugby player doesn’t drink anymore so he’s having a soda water. Kidder a former bike messenger may or may not have a beer. But they’ll both have some interesting commentary on the situation and they both ride bikes.
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same shit different daze
January 7, 2020
The anxiety manifests in a dream taking place in the basement of a medium sized mid century apartment building where all the action apparently happens in a large windowless room filled with antiquated mismatched coin-op laundry machines. Your load is in the wash almost finished and you cannot find an available dryer. You also have another load to wash and there’s a lot of competition from the 14 other people milling around who seem to be in the same boat. They’re all characters from your past. Some vaguely familiar. Some disturbingly close to home and all up in your face.
lint filters
dryer ducts
quarter slots
fabric softener
color safe bleach
change machines
people magazines
handmade signs
slathered in scotch tape
OUT OF ORDER
dim digital readouts
blacked out
spin cycles rocking
racking clacking
ticking
timers counting down
It’s all just an extension of sound transit’s anxiety inducing connect 2020. Bikes restricted at the Pioneer Square station where all passengers must exit to continue their trip and there’s no fucking way you’ll get back on with a bike at the International District stop and good luck at University Street. Crush capacity 4-car trains every 12 minutes somehow do not equal 3-car trains every 6 minutes bro. And to top it all off their new recorded messages being barked loudly repeatedly repeated in an annoying middle manager type trying to be authoritative white guy voice telling me to stand behind the yellow line and show proof of payment and not to even think about bikes in Pioneer Square. I prefer the non descript computer generated female voice clearly clear of the uncanny valley. I had the commute dialed in like clockwork and now it’s not and my clothes are wet and there don't seem to be any dryers available and there are so many people up in my face.
jump bikes
available near you
form of payment
proof of payment
can’t sit down
can’t move
can’t breathe
exit to my right
on demand bike lockers
ticking timers
counting down
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make change happen
January 2, 2020
into and out of existence
less is more
everything you need
nothing you don’t
those who say don’t know
those who know don’t say
it’s the same on the weekends
as the rest of the days
radiating from or contracting to
the original source
it won’t go away
it will only change shape
from nothingness to nothingness
everywhere anywhere
somewhere along the way
between renewal and decay
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