If I was a bartender and you ordered a hot apple pear martini, I’d pour you a beer.
If I was a barista and you ordered a hazelnut frappuccino, I’d pour you a cup of coffee.
If I was a barber and you came in with your pattern bald beret and ponytail, I’d shave your head.
If I was a bike messenger and you told me to take an unsigned Stipulation and Order to the judge’s chambers and wait for the judge to sign it, then file the original and return a copy to you right away, I’d take it to the mail room and stamp the copy.
If I was a King County Superior Court Judge and the defense attorney said, “your honor, my client is without sufficient information and can neither confirm nor deny the allegation” I’d say, “shut the fuck up counselor and let the guy answer the question” and if a bike messenger entered my courtroom with an unsigned order and expected me to sign it right away so he could file the original by noon, I’d stop the trial in session and wave the messenger up and ask him the name of the attorney that sent him to my courtroom and then I’d politely tell the messenger to drop the order in the judge’s mailroom and thank him for the effort and chat him up a bit about bikes or beer or both. Then I’d call the attorney that sent the messenger and give him a whole can of whoop ass and tell him his proposed order is horseshit. Add Comment
