Carter Mondale 1980
June 8, 2008
Why are you wearing that T-shirt?
If you say it doesn’t matter and you don’t give a shit, you just pick up what’s on the floor in the morning and put it back on and go to work. Then I say OK, I believe you…but only if you own just 4 shirts. But if you roll out of bed and must select one shirt from a pile of 55 T-shirts each morning, there’s a little more involved.
A quick survey of the service sector in Seattle has shown that shirts are not selected just because they fit well, they’re flattering, they ride just right on saddle bags, beer bellies or muffin tops. Shirts are not selected because of the color. The color that brings out your eyes, your tattoos, your teeth, your hair. Nope. Shirts are selected because they say something. Something you agree with. They represent something you believe in. Or they commemorate an event you were a part of.
I’m all for saying something, getting a point across and remembering events. But I’d like to put my vote in for a flattering fit, in a complimentary color and a shirt that looks good as a shirt. If there’s a message there to convey too…that’s great, but don’t let that trump the way it looks on you. Rocking a favorite white T that’s 4 years old and hasn’t really been white for 3.75 years is not so good. Sporting a XXL shirt that hangs off you because you want to show your love for Planet of the Apes…not so good. Don’t get me wrong I have 55 T-shirts, but recently I’ve gotten a bit more selective.
I know you can’t wait to talk about--- your alley cat win, the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library, the intramural badminton team, the chess club, that hardcore band, that summer camp, your tennis racket, the Huey Lewis concert, a failed political campaign, tropical fish, that hipster beer, the skateboard, a German bird dog, that Italian bike component, the Brazilian soccer player, your sexy Mexican maid, that website, those bitchin burritos, cycle courier championships, onion rings, super bowl rings, laundry detergent, your unpaid internship, laser tattoo removal, that glass blowing blow, the overpriced steak house, that legal messenger company, the reality TV show, the yoga class, a small liberal arts college in the Midwest, the North Idaho College wrestling team, Albert Hofmann’s fan club, the Whatcom County Gun Club, your vacation, vocation, hobby, addiction, recovery, relapse, that big bike ride across Iowa, the last Alice in Chains concert, the Les Schwab in Ballard, the square root of X, the Big Lebowski, I before E except after coffee tea or me, red red wine country, Jesus Shuttlesworth, Crown molding, the monorail, Disney World, Catholic School Girls, rodeo clowns, lavender massage oil, that landscaping company, Buck Creek, bandana do rag mullets, the chilidog eating contest, insulated water heater blankets, One less flat screen TV or Michael Jackson---but you don’t have to say it with a t-shirt, we can actually talk about it.
But what if, what if you could get a shirt that says something you believe in and that fits you really well in a flattering color? What if…
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Steve
said...
Are you going to have the onesies in adult sizes? I would like one of those in a flattering color, made my junk look larger, and celebrated B.Y.U.'s 1984 national championship. That would be bitching.
Posted June 8, 2008 10:13 AM
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pilderwasser
replied to Steve...
I'll make you an adult onesie in your undefeated 1984 Cougar Blue. and don't worry about your junk looking large, the diaper will take care of that.
Posted June 8, 2008 05:49 PM
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drill team hero
said...
don't for get to take those onesies to bootyland on pine. their shit is expensive. i will check back in to order mine directly from the source. cheers
Posted June 9, 2008 07:07 AM
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