what was that? is that all there is? who is this? this is it.

 Why did the attorney cross the road? How many legal messengers does it take to screw in a light bulb? It’s all about the struggle and reconciliation of opposites. Just because I’m here, working in the service sector I am not going to kiss anyone’s ass or even pretend to. I’m not telling you that you need a check for $200 with your monetary King County filing, I’m asking you in a suggestive way if you need to attach a check…because you’re the attorney, I’m the bike messenger and I’m waiting for you to tell me there should be a check with these documents. Copy that? WWDD? I’ll do what you say, even though I know it’s wrong,  I’ll let you know what I’ve done in the past many many times, I’ll explain what my experience has been and then I’ll take very good notes and fuck it up because that’s what you told me to do. You’re the attorney. I’m the messenger. Do you want me to do it right or do you want me to do what you say? I’ve never actually said that to these legal schlepsters. But I say it with my eyes. I say it in the gaps between the words I actually verbalize. I say it with my breathing. 

You’re the man. Oh no, no, no...no really, you’re the man.

Today one of my coworkers handed me some documents to file at King County. I glanced at them, stuffed them in my bag and rode to my next stop and made a pickup. Then I took a minute to really look at that other job and noticed it was missing a check, I looked up at the guy next to me on the elevator and said, 

Are you an attorney?

Yes, he says with a puzzled look

don’t you need $200 to file an answer with a counterclaim? I ask

Laughing he says, I do criminal defense, I have no idea and I’m sure you’d know better than most people

Thanks, I say…

So I called the client, got her voicemail, hung up, called my dispatcher, then took it back to the client. The secretary that sent it out went to the dentist so another secretary came out and said file it anyway.

Copy that.

In a couple weeks I’ll go back to that client and pickup the originals with a check for $200 and a note from the clerk explaining why it was rejected on February 21 and mailed back to them. And then I'll file it again.

4 Comments

Sounds like job security to me.

Here's to redeliveries & wait time.

MY LIFE!!!!!!! I MAY FUCK UP A FEW FILINGS, to be sure, but the ones that "they" fuck up before are always REALLY fucked-up.

When I started there weren't many bike messengers. So the clerks would think I was the one who had prepared the fucked up filing. They'd start getting defensive and ready for an argument. I finally would say. "I'm just the messenger here, I had nothing to do with preparation of this document.all this means to me is i get to charge them another five bucks to take it back and possibly another five to file the corrected legal, law thingy."

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