what was that? is that all there is? who is this? this is it.

I see your mouth moving. I hear some words coming out. I know what you’re trying to say. I’m pretty sure I understand your intentions. But it’s not in sync, it’s not even close. It’s like John Wayne’s voice dubbed over a scrawny little character in a low-budget martial arts movie. Or a bad dream involving clowns and carnival rides at the county fair. Or some kind of performance art with spooky face paint, playing uncomfortably looped phrases in the background. You don’t need to lie to me. I’d prefer you saying nothing at all, to some bullshit story trying to appease me. 4 minutes my ass. Save it.

You said, “it will be ready in 4 minutes, can you wait 4 minutes?” That’s a great one. I’ve heard “two minutes” a million times, so 4 minutes was novel. Yeah, whatever, I’ve got 4 minutes.

18 minutes later I called you out again to let you know I had to leave in one minute in order to get to the courthouse by 4:30. Then you said, “oh… we’re just going to send this in the morning, so we’ll just call you back”

Thanks.

Have a nice day.

In those 22 minutes of wait time I looked at my watch about 21 times and the Nextel clock about 9 times. But I had plenty of time to practice my shadow monsters on the office wall at 1191. This is me doing my Migraine Boy Messenger shadow. 

3 Comments

I don't know what it is about wait time, but no matter how much for you get paid for each minute to sit there, the time still finds a way to pick away at your soul. The ability to do shadow puppets while you wait is a luxury I hope you enjoyed. If only wait time could come on a day like MLK when you are sitting around anyway.

When I had situations like that, I like to try and remember the 'Messenger Ninja' story in the bathroom at the Counterbalance. Something like 'his pager goes off, it says "Flip out. Kill people."' Yeah, that was a pretty good one, especially with him doing like 100 wheelies. Actually I think that was set in the Niner, but I'm sure you could adapt it to WMT.

Waiting time the most painful dollar earned I once spent an hour in the state recorders office looking out the window trying to find the right angle so I could see my bike twelve stories below. An hour out of my life gone forever.

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