what was that? is that all there is? who is this? this is it.

That phrase inspires a variety of things in a variety of people. To JP, it no doubt brings this Nu Shooz song to mind. But in this specific moment, this one spot-lighted, laser pointed, parabolic focused context, this is what it means to me. The Point of No Return is that moment when you have eaten enough of the food in front of you that no matter what the dispatcher throws at you, you’re golden, you’re set, you’re fine, can’t touch this, bring it, whatever. You cannot afford to wait in line on your lunch break or your so-called lunch break. So you choose establishments that offer food fast, which may or may not be “fast food”. You choose places that don’t offer a place to sit and chat. No bullshit. Or you choose to eat when the rest of the downtown population is not eating. Today I went into on of my favorite bodegas at 12:07pm for some spicy teriyaki and there were at least 20 construction workers waiting in line for the same thing. The same goes for any respectable place in the core, just substitute pasty office workers for hard hat wearing blue collar wouldn’t want your job on a day like this workers. So I turned around and went for another option, which happened to be Café Zum Zum, two hours later. If everyone zigs at 12 noon, I”ll choose to zag. I’ll sit and read the book review on my lunch break and try to scarf down some food later.

So this is where the point of no return comes in. It’s 10:43am or 2:12pm and you stop for some food because there are no lines and you’re hungry. You get the food and start sucking it down and when you’ve eaten enough of it so that no matter what your dispatcher barks at you, you can cover it comfortably, you’ve passed that point of which I speak. You can casually finish eating and do what you need to do. In that pre PNR stage you’re visualizing packing it up and one-arming your food to your next stop or double bagging it and stuffing it in your messenger bag to slowly leak all over your work and personal possessions. There is no post PNR because when you achieve the PNR, you’re set, you can smile and relax.

If I put on a messenger competition it would include a food event. Because many times in my messenger career I have stopped to ponder the elasticity of my own stomach as I’ve sucked down a Zum Zum special in 7 minutes, a Down Home Burrito in 8 minutes, or a pile of teriyaki and rice as well as 3 beverages in no time at all…and then hopped on my bike and went to work and held it all down. I’ve met lots of bad-ass bike riders but not all of them could stomach a Down Home beef burrito with black beans on a spinach tortilla and a pitcher or two of Rainier and ride their bikes like they normally do. That’s right I said pitcher, not pint.

I’d like to think, I’m past the point of no return, in general, all the time and there’s no Nextel chirp that can ruin my lunch. I’m not really there yet but I’m working on it.

PS:  87, your snoop’d nu shooz are here 

6 Comments

If you think you can eat fast, sit down with Jonny Sundt for a meal. You'll take a few bites, look away for a second, look back and he'll be done eating and all the while telling you a story of epic badass racing glory. Growing up in Okanogan County teaches you not to fuck around when the food's on the table. woooooorrrrd.

yo snoop can't even rock my new shoes.......just me and Denis Dixson. U of O. ok Pre would rock them too i he were still kickin

The science of eating as a messenger should be another course you could offer. PNR is a vague concept that can be difficult to understand kind of like depth of field. Food types and location make all the difference and have vastly differing PNR values. Thanks for putting a name to something I had to deal with all the time. What do you call the churning in your stomach when you hear the chirp or ring of your phone when you're still in limbo, after the money has changed hands, but before you get a crack at the food?

that's a good point. It's some form of Murphy's law, where your dispatcher is tuned into you ordering a beverage, hot or cold, or food and chirps you at just the wrong time. It's often a risk you're willing to take or even a necessity to continue to function as a messenger but it sucks. That Nextel chirp gets me even on Sunday's...far removed from work. I haven't named that stomach churning you describe.

I haven't worked with a nextel for 3 years, but even when I hear that chirp on TV, it gets me. Same as the old verizon pager sound. Every now and then I'll be somewhere, I hear it and my heart skips a beat because I don't feel like riding into the core to save some job no one else wants. Then I remember I'm not even in the right city for that sound to mean anything.

don't forget the Point of No Return 1993 starring Bridget Fonda, the Americanized remake of La Femme Nikita

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