Artist
not concerned with mechanical issues. Pays no attention to brand names, logos, bike snobbery, or competition. She rides a bike to ride a bike. He rides a bike for the flowing flow of it all. She can ride all day and looks good doing it, stylish, attractive, relaxed and strong. He can hang with the pace line if he wants to but it bores him he invests more energy in his thoughts and the line his scarf takes in the breeze.
Gear head
knows the thread pitch on a French bottom bracket shell. Knows the thread count on a German tubular tire. Knows the torque specs on your brake rotor bolts. Enjoys adjusting Mafac brakes. He can’t ride a bike for shit and doesn’t pretend he can. Sometimes he rides a bike to the shop but would rather take the bus because his mind is clouded with technical information and he likes to read parts catalogs.
Athlete
this guy can ride all day. This guy can kick your ass up that hill and not break a sweat. This guy wins races. This guy cannot stand to be passed by anyone on the road and will reel you in if you ever get by him. But this guy can’t fix a flat tire or tell the difference between a seat tube and an inner tube. He doesn’t understand the artist or the snob and doesn’t care what the gear head has to say. Wanna race?
Snob
invests a great deal of time and energy in making sure his bar tape matches his brake pads. And his gloves must match his shoes. Must have Italian cable ends on his Masi. Must have French tires on his Bertin. The snob has lots of questions for the gear head. The snob can’t ride a bike for shit, however he claims to be quite skilled. In this general category you’ll find the spandexed out roadie who will only throw a leg over when he’s decked out in his team kit. Even if the kit is 5 years old. Even if he sucks and always did suck. He’ll go for long slow training rides, in his kit of course. But he would never think of riding to the video store or the grocery store or his dentist appointment or the coffee shop unless he‘s in his kit. He drives to those places. He sucks.
Misanthrope
rides a bike to get from A to B. Doesn’t identify with or acknowledge other cyclists, or other people for that matter. You know Ted Kaczynski rode a bike to the library from his shack. I think I'm somewhere between this and an artist.
this is a work in progress that may grow in the next issue of kickstand. Or not. if you don't find a stereotype here that fits you, don't take it personally I'll find one for you
http://youtube.com/watch?v=2CZD8Qgz85M a little video that reminds me of...
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