“nice to meet you Kevin”
“it’s Kelvin—”
“oh sorry Calvin”
“no, Kelvin”
As the attention span
of the average American
approaches absolute zero
we’re lowering
our expectations
how low can you go?
−273.15 °C
−459.67 °F
theoretically possible
practically unachievable
but don’t doubt
the average American
look see
finger pointing
strong correlation
the ubiquity of the
smart phone
and how we
dumb it down
post hoc ergo propter hoc
see fallacy see
beyond comparison
absolute adjectives are
the satisfying clunk-click
of an old school
toggle switch
IT IS
or
IT ISN’T
there is no slightly
no sorta kinda
no very very
no almost
all or none
with it
or
on it
take it
or
leave it
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