eu·phe·mism
noun a mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blunt when referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing
1997 “chocolate milk”
Working at a large commercial messenger company when one day a dispatcher told a pack of riders a story about a certain messenger back in the day that was toting around a carton of “chocolate milk” when it busted open and soaked everything in his bag. The moral of the story was -rookies do stupid shit-
2007 “gasoline”
Working at a small legal messenger company when one day the owner/dispatcher asked all the riders if they were aware of any recent mishaps where they might have spilled “gasoline” on legal documents that were delivered/filed/returned to a very very large law firm in town where a legal secretary called to complain about the smell of her documents. This subtle euphemism in the name of plausible deniability, let us all know that he knew what was going on out there on the street and that we should be a little more cautious with “gasoline” around the legal documents.
2023 chocolate milk
Working at a large university, rolling around on an electric assist bathtub filled with mail as well as packages, posters, maps and business cards. I’ve recently been in a chocolate milk phase coinciding perfectly with Junior-Junior's move away from it. It makes a good snack. Last week I had a carton bouncing around in the cargo box for a day or two, which was a pretty stupid rookie move. Digging it out from under the mail I noticed the carton was rather deformed and dented but still intact. As I drank it down I chuckled to myself, visualizing the stacks of mail soaked in chocolate milk that I would have to explain to my coworkers and supervisors. But chuckling even more because it’s actually chocolate milk and not a euphemism for some other thing that would be harder to explain.
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