what was that? is that all there is? who is this? this is it.

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crow consults campus map

October 21, 2022


Crow consults the campus map shortly before she shits on it.

Keeping things in perspective, on the map drawn to scale, imagine sitting at your desk on the third floor of Roosevelt Commons West --a cheesy building near 43rd & Roosevelt-- daydreaming as you stare out the window, when suddenly a 500 foot bird turd plops down across the street. 


I’d like to interpret it as commentary on the Roosevelt bike lane north of the U bridge. It’s a death trap and always has been. The so-called improvements done over the past 20 years have only made it worse. There is no such thing as a protected bike lane. It’s horseshit and sets up novice cyclists for multiple conflicts with drivers entering and exiting the Medical clinics and creates confusion with pedestrians. It’s actually safer to take the left lane and piss off drivers. 


Anthropomorphizing everything is what we humans do. It does appear the crow is looking at the map. But I think what she was really looking for was food. She proceeded to peck at the handlebar, the grips, chomp on the cable housing and she sat on the saddle. She spent a lot of time tugging on the corners of the campus map sticker that’s beginning to peel up in spots. She tried everything she could think of to get a rise out of me, or a snack. Then she took a shit. 


She knows me and knows I usually have something to eat in that cargo box but this time, I had nothing to offer. When I stood up to ride back to base she did a fly by and smacked the back of my head with her wing, saying "see ya bathtub boy, and bring some fucking food next time"  


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Judy Isaacson said...

Crows—birds in general—are probably smarter than people. If people were smarter they would know that birds are probably smarter than people. They would.

Posted October 25, 2022 04:43 PM | Reply to this comment

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