what was that? is that all there is? who is this? this is it.

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VanMoof in situ

February 11, 2022

Cannot say I knew anything about VanMoof bikes until I spotted one outside my local independent bookstore yesterday. I didn’t get too close but I did take a picture. Only because it was screaming out “ultimate urban utility” just like all the bikes in that cute little contest 8 years back where groups of hipsters from five cities submitted their design proposals for a city bike. The winning team’s idea would be sent to production by Fuji. Or so they said. Fuji never followed through. The best thing to come out of all that was the signage. My old lady walked out with this example that we still have on the wall at HQ.




Looking at the VanMoof site  makes me think maybe some of those hipsters found some investors and a factory in China to produce their version of the ultimate urban utility bike. 8 years later it’s e-assist bro and chock full of widgets, gadgets, doohickies and doodads integrated all up in the frame wherever you look as well as  places you wouldn’t think to look. And all that is cool, until it isn’t, then it’s not cool. What I’m saying is, very specialized, proprietary, unique electronic horseshit breaks down and then you have a heavy $3000 single speed. 

 

I prefer to unlock my lock with a key.  I don’t want an  app on my device that lets my bike sense me approaching and unlocks the integrated lock in the rear hub. 

 

I like to imagine a Bike Works employee dragging a VanMoof out of the donation dumpster in 5 years. When they get it back to the warehouse and crack open the internal electronic 4-speed shifting doohickey near the rear hub all the little cogs fall to the floor and they laugh and shake their head before hurling the whole thing into the metal recycling container. 

 


Add Comment

building a mousetrap but it's not better said...

https://youtu.be/knMPK3TziPs

Posted February 11, 2022 06:45 AM | Reply to this comment

pilder said...

recycle & reuse coordinators have been practicing the "Landrider Toss" for years

Posted February 11, 2022 09:18 AM | Reply to this comment

Van Moof Poof said...

Alexa, unlock my bike in 17 seconds

Posted February 11, 2022 02:58 PM | Reply to this comment

Alistair. said...

Every time I see a VanMoof I think of the Robocop movie where they referenced a car of the future called the 6000 SUX, "An American tradition, 8.2 MPG"! In another scene a hostage taker demands a car with "reclining leather seats, that goes really fast, and gets really shitty gas mileage...". "How about the 6000 SUX", responds the police hostage negotiator. Anyway, the faux futuristic style of the VanMoof, with it's sanitized and "streamlined" aesthetics, reminds me of that SHITTY futuristic car.

Posted February 11, 2022 07:47 PM | Reply to this comment

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