what was that? is that all there is? who is this? this is it.

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non drive side dismount discourse

December 2, 2021


27” steel rims in the rain


43 pounds of steel. Behold the Schwinn Varsity.  Ask me about Ashtabula, Ohio and then we can talk about Chicago and Japan. I won’t just talk shit about the bike but I will refer you to this recapitulated by this  


Over the long holiday weekend this bike was left in the bushes near The Ave on the Burke Gilman. Then some well-meaning state workers propped it up on a handrail thinking someone would come by and reclaim it. But that was days ago. The original owner probably bought it when Jimmy Carter was in the white house. Then it passed its time in dusty garages and yard sales. Fast forward a few decades…   ...when the Thanksgiving thief gave up on it before he made it to 15th Avenue. Because of its monumental weight, he couldn’t so much chuck it as just lay it down and walk away. If a bike isn’t parted-out or stolen in the U-district within 24 hours, then something isn’t quite right. 


It wasn’t there when I went in. But it was there when I came out. I like to visualize the Provost or some other high level figure head emeritus returning from lunch and working to get that one last little chunk of teriyaki chicken out of their teeth and then nonchalantly dropping their dental pick behind my bike just before reentering the building to return to their office to scroll through their facebook feed for a few more hours. 


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