what was that? is that all there is? who is this? this is it.

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turf toe

September 14, 2020

had a dream I was sleeping only this time I didn’t wake up in a shower curtain factory and there was no Rick Steves hassling me I was woken by Compu Teresa’s generic voice letting me know that this train is out of service and all passengers must exit the train so I pulled my bike off the hook and took 3 escalators to the surface until it occurred to me that this is where I should be right here right now getting my bearings geographically after autopiloting things blindly on muscle memory when I saw Husky Stadium I said it’s peanut-butter-jelly time and decided to post-up and wait for the sunrise even if the sun hadn’t actually risen for over a week obscured by wildfire smoke it seemed like the thing to do because that’s what I do and there is comfort in doing what you do when you’ve done it before reaching deep into my satchel I pulled a sandwich out of a bread sack and looked back to see the grim reaper dressed in a fare enforcement officer uniform taking his smoke break with a half smile and nod I looked toward the stadium only to see a huge cloud of locusts blocking out the already mostly blocked out sunlight swirling into a funnel cloud looking fake like bad wizard of oz special effects and making an awful racket until they all kind of settled onto the artificial turf chow down on that plastic shit suckers I thought and when I said holy shit did you see that the grim reaper said how you like me now then I looked down to take a bite of my pb&j but it was enveloped in locusts and in the blink of an eye it was devoured disappearing completely and cleanly from my hand and when I said are you fucking kidding me the grim reaper said you know you could make more money delivering tamales 


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pilder said...

i think i poached this photo from Chris Mitchell's tweet

Posted September 14, 2020 09:06 PM | Reply to this comment

Alistair. said...

This is very entertaining. I can only remember tiny details of my dreams, and they are gone within seconds of my waking up.

Posted September 15, 2020 08:47 PM | Reply to this comment

phenotypic plasticity said...


Posted September 16, 2020 05:52 AM | Reply to this comment

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