what was that? is that all there is? who is this? this is it.

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whatever it takes

March 24, 2020

Here comes pilder cottontail hoppin down his habbitrail. Hippity hoppity pilder’s on his way. Each day in a similar way. Not because he loves routine. But because he likes to free up bandwidth in his brain for other things, fun things, creative things, quirky things, meaningless petty details take on new meaning when they pop up in a new context. As you know there’s been a bit of a snag in the coffee-beer continuum which requires some patience and creativity to deal with. P’s favorite coffee shop closed up as did his second, third and fourth favorites too. His fifth-favorite coffee shop held on for one extra week in a to-go-only format but it’s closed now too. His favorite bartender lost her job because her bar shut down and will likely never return. His second favorite bartender lost her job and moved back home to live with her parents.  But at least he got that tattoo inked just before the government informed him that tattoo shops are not essential operations. By the time all that hair on his knee grows back maybe he can get a cup of coffee or a pint of beer or both. And his favorite bartender can find a new job. P has no problem with social distancing. His personal space bubble is very large and pre programmed, as in, it’s innate. He never needed lines taped on the floor to let him know when someone was getting too close. If anthropomorphizing this thing makes it easier to understand then do what you need to do. He actually discussed this with a brain scientist. No joke. Terms like tenacity, versatility, adaptability, sticktoitiveness get thrown around when describing a thing that’s not even “alive” Morphing mutating adapting replicating transmitting. In layman's terms: 220/221 whatever it takes. Pilder is burning new neural pathways overcoming routine and muscle memory to find new ways to enter locked buildings with card key access, phone calls and good old brass keys into locked door knobs. Not to mention new sources of drip coffee.  This is just his little self-absorbed perspective on a very shallow superficial nonessential level. P cottontail knows there’s a lot of very important shit going on out there or in there or over there. However distractions and a sense of humor are important. P is wearing a giant Flava Flav necklace that dispenses hand sanitizer (not really but he could be) He appreciates your attention to detail and would like to remind you to turn off “the news” and look around a little. Used rubber gloves are the new discarded dental picks. They’re everywhere. 


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37 said...

They are everywhere.....

Posted March 25, 2020 12:39 PM | Reply to this comment

pilder replied to 37...

I'm not feeling much motivation to work on another coffee table book featuring discarded rubber gloves. Some of my coworkers just chuck them down on tables and desks and that makes me queasy and angry. They're millennials that are used to being cared for. Ever since I worked at Mad Fiber where we were always gloved-up I can't stand seeing used gloves sitting around. Coworkers at Bike Works would save gloves intending to use them again in some environmentally responsible way reduce reuse regurgitate a little in my mouth.

Posted March 25, 2020 03:38 PM | Reply to this comment

37 said...

At home, I carefully take them off and keep using them until the thumbs wear through....

Posted March 26, 2020 03:05 PM | Reply to this comment

dawgs said...


Posted March 26, 2020 08:49 PM | Reply to this comment

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