Last Wednesday I came to a fork in the road and I stopped and picked it up, took a picture of it and then tossed it in the cargo box on my work bike to rattle around. I could feed you some lines about taking the road less travelled by and how it made all the difference but that would be a joke.
Getting run over by metro buses and cement trucks and grub hub delivery dudes repeatedly until finally making its way to the gutter in front of the old Purchasing Building that two story nondescript place you may know better as 3917 University Way NE. This fork got my attention and now it may or may not be getting your attention and I’m ok with that because it will come in handy someday
The anxiety manifests in a dream where I approach the on-demand bike locker with no visuals no reference to signage or location but purely by muscle memory habit and routine. I put the key card in the slot. That slot I always use on the locker I always roll up to you know the locker I always use...and the door opens. Only the door is double tall high and when it kicks open my bike isn’t in there because it’s just a giant shower stall. So I say what the fuck and slam the door for my early bird return refund and it charges my card $5.32 because it’s a doggie dog wash stall and that’s the minimum charge to access it all. So I’m starting to get stressed because my card only had $7.07 left on it when I arrived and I need to get my bike back because I agreed to work a fill-in day at WaLegal because they’re short staffed in this virus shit show ad hoc crack down slap dash fuck fest. I’m already getting texts and voicemails dispatching me work in the voice of that goddamn pudgy overbearing whiteguy middle manager asshole type that Sound Transit has barking commands all day long on the loudspeakers about restricting bicycles in Pioneer Square and my bike is in one of those 46 identical bike lockers with a slow leak in the rear tire and my card key is now really wrinkled and bent and folded and it only has $1.75 left on it today the alleged last day of Connect 2020 but the light rail is the least of my worries because my bike is in a locker in Rainier Beach and I’ve got pickups that the dispatcher is barking at me from King County and Harborview and the Sonics practice facility and then I wake up in somebody else’s bed and I’m really thirsty