
When I was your age they called it “Bike to Work Day” which in my mind translates as “honey can you pick me up after work because it might rain later day” But now they call it “Bike Everywhere Day” or something like that. Which brings me back to this red bike, the most piece of shit bike I’ve seen in a long time. If this is your bike please don’t take it personally really riding a bike, any bike is great and it beats driving or taking an uber or riding the bus and I hope to see the proud owner of this bike cruising across campus someday because as you can see they love their bike and lock it up with not only a u-lock but two cable locks too. I’ve seen a lot of bikes that suck and this one really really really sucks. I’ve pulled thousands of bikes out of tangled piles in donation dumpsters. I’ve seen some shit bikes but this is the cheapest possible cheap shit MSRP completely full of cost cutting measures right down to the straight seatpost the lack of bottle cage bolts and the bolt-on front hub the bottom bracket and the welded on fucking crap chainring. A bike like this retails for about $189 at walmart but it costs about $14.50 to produce in a factory in China, even less if you up your order to 10,000 units. The coaster brake allows the kid to putoff the look of a brakeless fixed gear which is hilarious because it’s so Fast Friday ago and this kid was in 1st grade back then. But in reality this bike is unsafe at any speed over 7mph. Parked on the bike rack at Atmospheric Sciences I just can’t stop staring at it and shaking my head because it’s such a piece of shit painted red as if dumping a gallon of febreeze in the alley behind the dumpster will mask the smell but it only makes the alley smell more like piss and shit and vomit with a hint of febreeze. For $189 you could buy a solid used bike at a place like Bike Works and ride it to work everyday for a long long time.

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