what was that? is that all there is? who is this? this is it.

like like

like really like

like  m a j o r l y

so fuckingly major

dig if you will, a picture

a photo of a photo of a photo

There are a lot of photos on this site. But this is one of my favorites. It’s been regurgitated here several times. 

I think the original photo is 2007 or 08 or 09. But when I stumbled upon the paper copy of the digital copy from the 2011 iteration, I made a postcard for the messengers at SMC and dropped it in their LSB DNA drop box this morning. 

The jaywalker yelling “LAWBREAKER” also inspired me to wear my SMC lawbreaker jawbreaker morton salt girt t-shirt today. 

What will Wednesday bring? It will bring it all full circle. Regurgitated rumination loopity-loop loopy cyclical cycles cycling via bicycle. 

greener

orange

orange you glad I didn’t say the grass is greener?

nothing says greener grass like an orange T-shirt. Nothing reminds a person to ask questions like a helium filled alien bovine invasion. 

Is the grass always greener?

Are those really cows?

What day is it? 

How did I get here?

Is that the best you can do? 

“We do it that way because that’s the way it’s always been done.”

That’s horseshit.

Dig Deeper.  

There’s no “I” in team.

There’s no “I” in go-fuck-yourself. 

When I pulled a copy of this little chapbook from the archives to hand off to 22 Heather, I was inspired to add a few alien bovines to my new orange t-shirt. 

I think I have about 56 black t-shirts and 3 orange ones. 

orange whip?

orange whip?

3 orange whips

discarded dental picks?

could be       maybe

more like

somebody’s charcuterie

took a tumble

outside

Old Fisheries

what's with all the arrows bro?

This photo caught my attention in one of the dusty 3-ring binders full of this site on paper. I cut & pasted it onto some cardboard and it’s now on its way to Toothaker in the form of a neo-retro black & white postcard. 

That seatpost was the only Campy thing in my life. The duct taped nose on the Flite saddle was a recurring theme on many of my bikes. 

I spent a lot of time  staring off into space, pondering unanswerable questions. I guess I’m still doing that. But back then I was “standing by” on the coffee-beer continuum,  heavily weighted to the beer side, hiding in plain sight, with 5th & Seneca tall cans, sitting on the walls outside 1200 5th, where my Bianchi was leaning in this photo. You can still call it the IBM Building if you want to. Designed by Yamasaki and kitty-corner from the Rainier Tower, another Yamasaki building.

That OG DANK toptube pad was later stolen off of Bluish’s bike outside the Elysian while she was working. 

phantom top tube pad 

phantom tall can coozie

phantom Flite saddle 

phantom ass-pocket U-lock 

all textbook simple symptoms of

phantom...

kickstand

Doug Nufer        1999

Kickstand is antic ink.

A tack in a sack, a snack in a cask, a task.

As an ant is an acid tank and a kid in dank ick can stink

Kickstand is an act and a stand. 

It can sin, sic a cad at staid kin

As ticks sink in skins.

Kickstand can scan ants in sand, skin cats, stain a saint

nick, kid, kick, stack, and sack a sick and sad anti-antics din

As it aids kids. It isn’t AIDS and can’t stand 

tan Dan and Candi’s tics in a skit in skin. 

As I sat and stank, I said

Kick it, kids. Dan, dick Candi! 

And Candi said,

It ain’t in, it’s an act: a knick-knack, tic-tac, sin-din in a tin can

An act can’t stick its dick in.

In Kickstand, I said, it can.

 ###

I have no recollection of how Doug Nufer got these words to me. Perhaps he handed it to me at the Elysian. Or he handed it to a bike messenger and they handed it to me downtown. Maybe he sent a fax to...

There will be no dress rehearsal

There will be no stunt double

There will be no Buckys training day

There will be no dry run    

There will be no phone-a-friend  

There will be no backup plan

There will be no practice test

There will be no grace period

There will be no second chances

There will be no window of opportunity

There will be      

a continental breakfast served in the lobby

complimentary for building tenants only

up this high at twice the price it’s easy to see

suckers buying one to get one free

the revolution

will not be super-sized

after the locals leave

before the tourists show up

there’s a lull  a pause  a hiatus

that’s the place that is the place I want to be

reading at the low point on the meniscus

between two peaks a valley

the truth is out there

or maybe it’s in here

gold star for robot bro

Is the check in the mail

The check is in the mail

The mail is in the check

In the mail the check is

Check the mail in the is

Mail the check is the in

I finally got this book in my hands. Got my hands on this book. Resisting the urge to drop $30 at my local independent bookstore when it came out in July, I put my name on the hold list at the library. Now here we are in October and I’m actually reading it. 

We’ve discussed it before when the reviews in the NY Times and the New Yorker were great reading in and of themselves. 

I’m about 47% into the book and recommending it to you again. The author is not your average Cliff Claven slouch. He’s a graduate of the Iowa Writer’s Workshop. He’s my age. He has kids. He lost his very high-paying “consumer strategist” job when covid made it go away and he took a mail carrier job because he needed health insurance. It happens to be in Blacksburg, Virginia, home of Virginia Tech. 

In no way do I claim to be a full-on USPS mailman. I’m an electric ass Mr. McFeeley on a large college campus. But the amount of mail I sort and deliver gives me a taste for things this guy is describing. And he describes those things very well. 

 ...

My other barstool is a bicycle

My other bicycle is a barstool

My barstool is a LYON made in Aurora, IL

My bicycle is a SOMA made in Japan

My barstool and bicycle are heavy ass steel

My barstool is on the playoff baseball bandwagon

My other other barstool is a sawed-off lawnchair

My other other bicycle is also single-speed 

My BIG TIME bicycle is locked outside

My BIG TIME barstool is #11