come to base
September 30, 2009
A big chapter in the history of Seattle messengers has come to a close
25 and 29
laid off
let go
cut loose
in this economy
in this industry
in this city
Craig Etheridge photo
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Tuesday is the new black
September 29, 2009
if you want a conformed copy
then provide a copy to conform
and when the job is complete
you may not change your mind
this will not be a problem
if you get it right the first time
if you say what you mean
if you ask for what you want
if you fill out the slip correctly
you will be billed accordingly
visualize the big picture
look ahead a step or two
there will be no second guessing
know the rules enough
to fake it and play along
play the game from 9 to 5
who decides?
the weather? the calendar?
the client? the owner?
the FedEx tracking number
the all-knowing dispatcher
traffic is a real bear
you can’t get there from here
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this is it
September 28, 2009
Blu photo
Derek wants his girlfriend to ride singlespeed
Kristin cuts her boyfriend’s hair
Vanessa gets stuck in the revolving door
Shannon smokes menthols
Susan uses a highlighter to cross things out
James is worried what people think
Eileen doesn’t give a shit
Mary tries too hard to fit in
David drinks vodka from a plastic bottle
Anthony can’t stand being alone
Tricia gets queasy on crowded elevators
Jill still thinks high school was the best
Jolene makes matching outfits for her ferrets
Ryan reads restaurant reviews
Drea wears green contact lenses
Jim got the job because his wife knows the owner
Paul compensates for things nobody cares about
Brad shits in the bathtub
doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
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no brakes?
September 28, 2009
Craig Etheridge photos
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country roads
September 26, 2009
again
September 25, 2009
something about the way you taste
September 24, 2009
it’s all in your mind
psychologically speaking
but you can feel it in your gut
neurosis of the liver
thigh high rhythm section
extemporaneous dental dam
tires under inflated
pupils fully dilated
yo no sé
no say no voice no vote
along for the ride
back seat back in the day
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jalapeño poppers
September 23, 2009
bike mechanic
aerodynamic
minimum wage
existence
subsistence messenger
from point to point
from paycheck to paycheck
a chain is only as strong as
its weakest receptionist
all you can eat
feedback from the neighbors
pounding on the wall
appetizer platter
two for a dollar
deep-fried cheese-stuffed jalapeño popper
all the social niceties of a jackhammer
expert opinions disdainfully stated
on every single subject
know when to say when
know when to say nothing
shut the fuck up
more or
less is more
the cushion on the end
gets twice as much love
as the one in the middle
get back what you input
a perfect parabolic reflection
right back at ya
overspray splash splatter pattern
highlighted and heightened by
a grape flavored urinal screen
if you like Gina Kolata
and getting caught in the rain
we’ll read the New York Times
and sit near each other
call it a relationship
it’s a two-way street
with two-way radios
didn’t bring my own bag
but I rode my bike
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in the pines
September 22, 2009
like a holy vision
it came to me
unfortunately
it was 18 hours late
as hindsight tends to be
when it clears things up perfectly
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Sunday morning easy like
September 20, 2009
Becky Gietzel photo
Jimbo's Bloody Mary bar on the back of the bus
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and red allover
September 19, 2009
history archaeology stratigraphy
layers lawyers liars
idea theory speculation
story tall tale religion
hope faith fear
flighty fluff follower
amateur dilettante hipster
trend fashion tradition
advisor consultant expert
factual truthful comical
press release
media coverage
damage control
swallow it whole
hook line sinker
bite on the head fake
chew it for awhile
masticate regurgitate extrapolate
from the particular to the universal
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there's a little Jiggy Nye in all of us
September 17, 2009
horizontal stripes
September 16, 2009
Robert Kittilson photo
after recent rains
your tumblers are rusty
crispy crunchy salty sticky
squeaky elbow grease release
elasticity diminished capacity
replace the battery
help us help you change your tune
gently fold it in with a wooden spoon
let it go there where
big kids sit with a booster chair
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even in this economy
September 16, 2009
07
Amara Boursaw photo
Mary and Todd
David Byrne will be at Town Hall September 28
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special sauce
September 16, 2009
Open to outcome but not attached to outcome.
All mammals have seven vertebrae in their necks, known as the cervical vertebrae C1 - C7. The seven vertebrae in a giraffe’s neck are considerably larger than the seven vertebrae in a pig’s neck.
The bourbon is eating through the Dixie cup faster than you can drink it.
Things were looking good in Reagan’s second term, but 24½ years later we’re stuck with a burnt orange toilet and matching sink set in a pink marble p-lam vanity.
One of these kids is doing his own thing.
new bike racks are popping up around town
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sneeze guard
September 15, 2009
Monday melds to Tuesday
pacific time zone
northwest evergreen
clear cut
logging logged in logged on
upload download load of shit
you applied for this
you signed up for it
a whole can of worms wide open
going Serena Williams on you
delivered first overnight
right to your door
avoidance diversion drama
attention look-at-me insecurity
to tease to test to trap
three days in a row
resting atop the sneeze guard
cash check or charge
take the money
under the guise of charity
change for $10 when you gave him $20
change for $20 when you gave him $10
now you’re square
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if you want something done right you have to send a messenger
September 12, 2009
An unnamed attorney takes a look at his calendar and notices a function he’s supposed to attend at the Columbia Tower (the tallest building on the West Coast. It has a private club and restaurant on one of the top floors) on Saturday September 12. He yells to his secretary a few questions about it because he had forgotten it was coming up and over the years he has come to rely on his secretary for everything. Law school didn‘t teach him this but it laid the foundations for his learned helplessness. His secretary rolls her eyes and picks up the phone and tells the receptionist to find out when and where the dinner will take place passing the buck so she can keep looking at Facebook.
The receptionist, although not playing with a full deck and dumber than a bag of hammers, is at least attractive and she tries with the resources she has available to solve problems as they arise. She slowly scans her surroundings before taking any hasty action. Making a mental note of the electric typewriter and how heavy it is she picks up a pencil and remembers the pencil sharpeners in her elementary school classroom and how they were so tricky to use. Then she grabs a pen but quickly puts it back because she likes the other color better. Finally she picks up the phone to call the Columbia Center but can’t seem to figure out what number to call or who to talk to so she calls the legal messenger company because their number is programmed into her phone. She explains her story to the dispatcher, who says “no problem we can do that, just email us a messenger slip, the PDF is on our website or you could fax one over” The receptionist is thankful but also worried because she now faces a whole new set of challenges. 
the messenger slip with information redacted to protect the stupid
Stupefied by the big words like pee dee eff and unsure of how to use that thing they call a fax machine, she sends a text message to her roommate asking for further instructions. The roommate works in a bank and calls back to calm the receptionist and encourage her to use the fax machine but only after they talk for a while about the drinks they had last night at...
[More]
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you know where you are
September 10, 2009
you’re in the jungle baby
where are your priorities
perhaps you can find them
at a bus stop between
what-you’re-telling-me and reality
or on the corner where
Yes Street meets
No Avenue
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step into my office
September 9, 2009
WL - WLM photo
sometimes September smells
like a vanillaroma air freshener
in a Chevy Avalanche
with its windows down
when it pulls right up on my left
close enough to touch my elbow
close enough to adjust the mirror
close enough to hear talk radio
close enough to say hello
this bike was stolen this morning
it's distincitve
it's tall
it's Molly's
look for it
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apathy
September 9, 2009
Sky Lobby lends itself to Floor Forty
obviously
however whatever whichever
sounds better
Floor Four or Fourth Floor
it could go either way
in a government building
it all depends on the sexy inflection
in the elevator robot’s voice
a supersaturated mix of everything
a complete lack of anything
the presence of apathy
the absence of motivation
half full
half empty
don’t ask me
I don’t know why
she swallowed that fly
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tinnitus
September 8, 2009
drinking cold beverages until your ears ring
that ringing in your ears may be tinnitus
or maybe it’s Miles Davis
kind of blue kind of
Mythical Creatures Velo Vultures Cold Beers
More on this later
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façade
September 4, 2009
too stoned to kill one bird
September 3, 2009
Ladies and Gentlemen
the Captain has turned on the Family History Sign
Please return to your comfort zones
stow your baggage (or just pretend to)
under the seat in front of you
It's time to get over it
Moving on
this one goes out to 25 "two-five"
Honesty
Integrity
Authenticity
Milli Vanilli
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zip ties hose clamps duct tape binder clips
September 3, 2009
- Produce and surrender valid photo ID
- Sign-in with current employer contact information
- Wear temporary visitor badge at all times
- But first you must wait for the security guard to update their Facebook page
A tisket a tasket
I lost that little yellow gasket
for my blinky light
now it rattles all the time
and I want to smash it with a hammer
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pitter patter
September 2, 2009
dumpster diving
September 1, 2009
dumpster-free alleys
solar powered garbage cans (seriously)
compensatory sympathy and stupidity
budget shortfalls
revenue stream contaminated
potable water button-down collar
corporate conference room lingo
servings per container before and or after
malaise dressing on the side
migratory birds crashing dried up reservoirs
worse than Boise State’s blue turf
skipping stones on the surface of a mirage
reflected in the windshield of a Greyhound bus
BEFORE (May 3, 2007)
AFTER (September 1, 2009)
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cupcakes
September 1, 2009
When I enter a small law firm on the 27th floor of One Union Square and open the door, the hinges squeal and sing out a few notes. It’s subtle and pleasantly familiar but I cannot quite place it until I turn to exit the office grabbing the door before it closes and the hinges play the sample one more time. Then, only then do I recognize the song that‘s playing.
What does L. Ron Hubbard know about diuretics?
How many cupcake places can Seattle support?
Where can I get a cup of coffee around here?
I’ve never had and hope to never have a phantom limb. But I do have a phantom apartment building at 10th & John and I can still feel it when I go by.
They paved-
a 24 unit apartment building
3 single family homes
low rent office space
a used bookstore
a copy shop
a hair salon
a Piroshky place
a smoke shop
a dentists office
an incense trinket store
a used record store
a youth hostel
a cheap restaurant
a Jack in the Box
a latex vinyl rubber sex shop
-and put up a parking lot
In eight years or so it’ll be the Capitol Hill light rail station but for now it’s a parking lot.
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