pilderwasser

If you want to get a messenger fired up, make him wait. give him a job with wait time, some wait time that he has no control over and then sweat him on his deadlines.

A signature roundtrip. I got it there in 5 minutes…then waited and waited and waited. 32 minutes later it was signed and ready to go back. Big rush. RUSH. OK whatever except by then it was 4:47pm and one more pick and drop was dispatched. OK whatever. Adrenaline. Not because I care about the client or their roundtrip or the dispatcher or his issues. Fired up because 32 minutes is a long time to wait in a cheesy office with nothing to read and nothing to do but listen to the radio and freecall and other messengers working and getting worked.
When the guy finally brought out the documents for the return trip it felt good to be rolling spinning riding finally back on the bike. What I got you got to give it to your mamma. What I got you got to give it to your pappa…Splitting lanes yelling 12 minutes is all the time in the world. I can this and that and that and that too all by 5:00. I poachd the wheelchair ramps a safe distance from the peds to avoid the right lane and took a hard right hard still pedaling in the corner and instant karma a pedal strike and I’m on the ground both hands grinding down Broad street still clipped in, my bag comes up hard on my back up on my head and wants to drive my face into the street but I hold it off and finally come to a stop sans a bit of skin on all the contact points. Hop back on the bike, the bars tweaked about 45 degrees off. Several people ask if I’m OK. I yell, “NO I’m not, it’s all adrenaline.” I hop back off the bike to crank the bars back to normal, then back on and on to the FedEx pickup. Bleeding from both hands stigmata style. I grabbed the pickups and a few overnights rolling on in a daze. I caught the FedEx driver at Kinkos then Justin took my roundtrip and I went into base thinking it was all such a waste. Like crashing in the last corner of a 60K crit, leading by... [More]

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An officetron on the elevator yesterday recounted his hard times to a co-worker.  He knew he had to attend a meeting at the Hampton Inn, a hotel on lower queen anne. So he map-quested the address: 700 5th Avenue North. However he apparently forgot the “North”. He printed out the directions and followed them step by step, traveling from his office at 999 3rd Avenue to the Seattle Municipal Tower at 700 5th Avenue, a mere four blocks away, where he spent some time searching for his meeting, before giving up and returning to the office, defeated. I’m still not sure if he realized what happened, what he did or why he did it.  Blaming the website for giving him faulty directions to the hotel. The hotel he knew was by the Seattle Center someplace. If he got it from mapquest it must have been right. If he read it online it must have been true.

He got what he asked for but it wasn't what he wanted.

 

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Who would…

Take the elevator up to the 43rd floor just to take a piss

Take the elevator up to the top floor to take a shit with a view

Reroute across town just to use a favorite men’s room

Bust out a same day in 2 minutes because they need to pee

Wash their hands thoroughly and then take a piss

Claim work from a client only because they have great hand soap

Route their returns based on available toilets

Hold it, all the way from Pier 70 to 2025 because Graham & D stinks, bad, all the time.

Flush the toilet if and only if the dispatcher is keyed up on the group channel

The messenger

The messenger would cuz she mixes it with sweat and makes the world smell good

tourist: Is there a restroom in this building?

Me:  Yeah,  about 150 of them

 

23 year old hipster kid: I've been drinking since 2:00, I'm wasted...

Me:  I've been drinking for 23 years

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An abandoned JC Penny 24" Free Spirit road bike. With two flat tires. This bike in its prime, well adjusted, fully tuned and dialed-in would still suck. Yesterday it was in fullon suck mode. But what do kids do with their bikes when they're sitting around and they have some time to kill? They do some tricks.

Who can clear High Life tallboys in a single bound?

Leland can. He got big air on that janky DWI bar freespirit with two flat tires and bunny hopped that beer can.

I got the before. I got the after. But I didn't get the money shot of him in midair. I blame my camera.

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How are you?

I'm fine, how are you?

the other 8 paragraphs have been omitted at this time, in everyone's best interest. 

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it's really not a big deal. It's just a symptom of a larger problem. Take a step back and look around for a while. Focus on the underlying issues. Treat the problem at its source and all those little bullshit symptoms will go away. The bandaids on top of duct tape on top of bailing wire will no longer be necessary. The drugs prescribed to treat the side effects of other prescriptions will not be needed. The big picture won't seem so big. 

Wednesday is a whacking day.  

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Business died down around 3:15. Not much going on. Hangin and hangin some more…then I was called into base for an LQA and the daily FedEx run out of Pier 70. I rolled through base then up 4th Ave onto Denny, crossing Broad street a BMW changes lanes and cuts me off, no problem. Then he changes his mind and goes back, no problem but this time I’m in his side view mirror on the driver’s side and I give him a gentle brush, a little flutter with the back of my right hand and some eye contact. Still rolling with it. Then he changes his mind again and switches back to the right lane. OK whatever. He got ahead of me and probably switched lanes a few more times. Then Denny turns into three Westbound lanes.  Approaching 1st Ave the light changes to red and I’m splitting lanes and rolling up to the intersection. As I roll even with Mr. BMW he's on my left  and he rolls down his passenger side window. I’ve got nothing to say to him but I’m interested to hear what he has for me. So I feather the front brake and hover with him for a moment. He’s got nothing for me but a great big grin. I’m not sure if he’s looking for an apology or going to offer me one, but all the while I’m thinking: if I wasn’t such a seasoned professional, I’d have a few things for you buddy…bodily fluids, empty containers, a U-lock, hand gestures, and an unprecedented string of profanities. He had obviously never dealt with an urban cyclist in a similar situation because he would not have opened that potential can of whoop ass through the passenger side window of his beautiful BMW by rolling it down for me in traffic. Apparently his driving style hasn’t proven its inefficiency yet. Perhaps he just moved back from LA and he still jumps on the chance to change lanes for no reason.

I rolled on. Through that light. Through the next one and then ghost locked at 200 2nd West. Holding the legal documents in my hand I stood and waited for my buddy to roll by on his way to his huge house in Magnolia.(the one he paid cash for I’m guessing with the profits from the townhouse he recently sold in Culver City) When he finally...

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This photo could have been taken 18 hours ago, on the back porch at Linda's. Craig is smiling, Sam is philosophizing, Newman is tending to business. They're all wet. It really doesn't matter if it's raining.

But this photo was taken 18 months ago. The rest holds true.

is it raining out there?

 

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Congratulations to the Kelly Benefit - Medifast team, including Mr. Jonny Sundt, for bringing home the win at the US Pro Crit Championships. Big Big Big Time Win for Martin Gilbert.

J. Devich photo from cyclingnews.com  

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I don’t expect you to use your turn signal. About 10 years ago I gave up on even looking at turn signals. Half the time when they’re on, they’ve been on for two miles. The body language of your car is much more dependable. I’m not sure where you’re going or what you’re going to do or what you’re looking for. But I can guess, I can assume, I can predict. Based on your car, your age, your location, your style, your passengers, the time of day. I can toss all that into the split second decision making process. It’s not unusual for me to not know what the hell you’re doing here on Second Avenue and what you plan to do next. But it would help if you knew what you were doing.

Looking for parking. Looking for your dentist office. Looking for the Nordstrom Rack. Looking for a high rise condo. Looking for your temp job. Looking for the answer. Looking for a clue. All of these are no problem, no big deal. Problems arise when you slam on the brakes and flip a u-turn as if you remembered you forgot to turn off the oven, as if you dropped your cell phone back there, as if your mom called you in for dinner, as if you were driving on a two lane country road in the middle of nowhere and you spotted a good place to take a shit, as if you couldn’t decide until now and now you’ve decided to make up your mind and slam on the brakes.

Do what you need to do. That’s great. No problem. Just stay away from me. Can’t we all get along? Yes. Yeah, sure we can, as long as you stay outta my face.

Hey neighbor. I’m not sure where you live but I see your truck parked outside my window all the time. I know it’s you because you have a bmx bike in the back. A bike you never seem to ride. Your truck gets my attention because you start it up early in the morning and let it idle for 10 minutes before you take off for work. As if a Toyota pickup needs to warm up. But maybe yours does. I‘m not sure what you‘ve got under the hood. Your truck is the only Toyota I’ve ever heard that sounds like a 75 Ford... [More]

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If your stepmom gives you a gift certificate to a large retail book store, record store, variety store or on-line megastore and you don't know what to buy with your $17.00, buy this album. Recorded in 1984 on SST records it will surely be the gift that keeps on giving. 44 tracks of greatness. One of the all time best. I'm not joking. Your stepmom has it and she knows how good it is, but she sure as hell won't give up her copy.

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Word of mouth has made the Bandit increasingly popular. Three Thieves Bandit boxed wine. The retail price helps too. I like it. Not just because it's cheap but because I can toss three of these boxes in my messenger bag and ride home with confidence, hauling the equivalent to 4 glass bottles of wine at fraction of the weight. But  the next morning I still feel like I drank a lot of cheap wine. The doctor said a glass of red wine is good for you. So a few liters must be even better.  

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I don't know this guy

but I know these two guys...

that's Justin and Dan in front of the PSP a few months ago. As seen in this week's Stranger on page 11.  

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It's all about the font.

What's that g stand for? Is that a snake or a g? What's that? I don't get it.

It's not a g thing

it's a g thing

it's all about the font, the NY Times magazine knows The Road to Clarity

 

 

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Here's to offering Nordstom quality at a WalMart price.

Route Service --- My Ass

thanks for the hustle guys, and you too Molly

photo by Dan Wilson.

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The latest RAGBRAI slideshow is almost full. My site's server is almost full. Thanks for all the photos Chris, Lori, Wendy and Rusty.

RAGBRAI XXXV click to view

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One way or another.

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name. Sometimes you want to go where nobody knows your name. Sometimes you want to change your name.

What it is. What it was. What it's turning into.

Which is worse? Being painfully hip and trendy or clinging to a lifestyle you lived 20 years ago. From a distance they look similar. Ill fitting outfits, time consuming hairstyles.  To the casual observer they may even be interchangeable. And beneath the surface they may be rooted in the same insecurities and misdirected energy. One way or another. I find both conditions very interesting.

"You're going the wrong way !"

"How do you know where I'm going?"

RedKev knows what's up. 

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sometimes this job doesn't suck.

sometimes this job sucks.

I wouldn't want your job on a day like this. If your job sucks more than sometimes...maybe you should quit. It's not my fault. I didn't put you there. We didn't put you there. They didn't put you there. You put yourself there. You sold out. Now you're paying for it.  You pay what you get for. You get what you pay for. 

It's not about the money. I know what a "living wage" is in Seattle. I know how much money you make. I know how much money I make. I know how much money I should be making. If it was about the money I would've kept moving in 1997.

You gotta do what you wanna do. Don't blame it on your family or your "responsibilities"

Do what you need to do.

Tyler's one-of-a-kind sampler

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Your 3rd grade teacher was right. Your babysitter was just trying to help. Your parents actually were looking out for your best interests.

Back then you thought Mrs. Grier was full of shit. You thought your babysitter was a tremendous slacker and you couldn't believe she got paid to watch TV. And you thought your parents were way off base.

Thursday is a drinking day. I need beer to live, don't just look away.

Does it all make sense now? Don't worry it never will.

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Chris Murray sent me a cd with 577 more photos from RAGBRAI XXXV.  I'll be updating the slide show with some great shots from Chris, Lori, Wendy and Rusty...one of these days. Thanks Chris

You are what you think about all day.

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Sandals with socks, tan lines that say I’m a cyclist, heart rate monitors, extra wheel sets, cowbells, wind trainers, folding chairs, numbers on the left, strollers, kids, dogs, Blue Angels, blue sky, Black Hole Sun, Asian Art museum, squirrels, green green grass, flowers, crash in corner 5, road rash, here they go round again.  

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I was down on a frown when the messenger brought me a letter

take a moment and feel the summer. The rolling out of bed in a t-shirt and short shorts and rolling to work with barely one layer on, no need to bring three more. Sweating through a t-shirt or two. Well defined sweat lines. Working on a t-shirt tan. Dogging the dog days of summer. Just a little pause of recognition because it'll sneak up on you. One morning you'll feel it, a chill in the air. You'll smell it creeping in, autumn and football season. You'll feel it in the pit of your stomach, that back-to-school feeling. I haven't been back to school for years but it still gets me. I appreciate football season and crisp fall weather but I don't like that pit of the stomach thing. It's barely August but...you know what I'm saying.

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Black T-shirts will always have a special place in my world. But soon you can buy American Apparel pilderwasser shirts in Cranberry, Grass, Orange and Olive. Sizes limited. Choices limited. It's nice to know your limits, to have clear boundaries, so you can step over them. You can't get what you want, 'til you know what you want. You can't always get what you want. Tell me what you want, what you really really want...

but here's what you can get:

small in Black

medium in Orange

large in Olive

XL in Black

XXL in Black

women's medium in Cranberry

women's large in Grass

Repeat as needed.

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one for you two for me

one if by land two if by sea

one bell for up two bells for down

one more for the road...better make it two

two wheels are better than four

a bird in hand is worth two in the bush

a hand in the bush is worth two birds

one two  one two

 

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