509 pride
May 31, 2008
Check out the gadget bottle Check out the RB-1 It all goes back to Spokane, WA and Thanks to Bill Strickland for the plug word
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perception
May 31, 2008
Friday, 2:45pm and the bike feels like part of my body. 37 hours under my belt, 3 more to go. Pulling moves I wouldn’t even consider on a Monday at 8:45am. Smooth like new cables and housing. The sun is out. And I’m in. Comfortable. Confident. Cocky. At ease. I’ve got the home court advantage. I own these streets, all you drivers are just borrowing them. Coasting. Carving lines. Rolling. Moving things along. White lines. Handiramps. Taxis. Tourists. Busses. Redlights. Receptionists. Elevators. Security guards. Dispatchers. Co-workers. All the issues remedied with a twitch of the hips. Every little ting, gonna be alright. 
perception is reality it is what it is you think gas prices? what gas prices?
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brass nipples
May 30, 2008
Utility cycling in the margins of society.
Cycling in the margins of utility.
Constant cost-benefit analysis.
Would you spend 35 minutes carefully folding an origami cat toy? And then proudly present it to your cat, anticipating hours of enjoyment while your cat just continued to sleep on the couch?
Or would you take that same piece of paper and wad it up into a ball and toss it on the floor for your cat to bat around when she feels like it?
Look into your cat’s eyes, do you think she gives a shit about origami?
Would you ride 5 miles for a free gallon of milk?
Would you buy 10 pairs of Onza pedals to get one pair free?
Would you buy 2 cans of Sparks with your winning scratch ticket?
Open to outcome. Yes.
Trying not to be attached to outcome...that's an uphill battle.
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one small step for man
May 29, 2008
Just so we’re clear on this, I am from No Man’s Land. I was raised by a pack of women in the foothills north of Spokane. I’ve got nothing against women. I really like women. And I can use the term No Man’s Land with confidence in a variety of contexts. I know what it is, I know what ‘taint.
Perineum
Mother, sister, grandmother in the absence of father, brother, grandfather
Transfer. Shift. Jump. Look to context, search for meaning.
that's me--quoting myself from 12/28/07 rewind replay reinsert repeat if you zoom in and take a closer look at the photo above, you'll see my right middle finger is raised. You'll also notice that perhaps the cousin behind me talked me into it. no shirt, no shoes, no pants, no problem ___ Found an expensive travel magazine at the post office this morning. The most interesting thing in those glossy pricey vapidly colorful pages was tips on how to avoid offending the locals in other countries with various hand gestures. Turkey, Greece, Croatia, Montenegro and the what not. Some very subtle things we do with our hands, feet and faces each day mean very different things to different people around the world.
It’s a small world after all…a tiny ass little world.
One small finger raised here.
One giant road rage incident incited there.
Sitting at the bar after work telling some friends about a douche bag driving a red Toyota pickup downtown today.
At that exact moment in time, Mr. Douche Bag was sitting in his apartment in Lake Forest Park telling his girlfriend about the punk ass bike messenger he wanted to run over downtown today.
It’s a small world after all…a small small world
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the economy, stupid
May 29, 2008
Tyler Goldsmith photo When you call my name it’s like a little prayer
A recent flurry of sales in the pilderwasser T-shirt department, when viewed by the casual observer, looks like it might be profitable. However there are no profits here. It’s like a hobby. And it’s lucky to break even. First I have to pay for those high quality T-shirts and that high quality water based silkscreen ink. Then all funds incoming are immediately pumped right back into the local economy. Beer, bikes and burritos. Not necessarily in that order.
A fresh shipment of American Apparel T-shirts will be in next weekish. New colors: Slate. Navy. Lapis. Eggplant. Army.
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left right left
May 28, 2008
2025 1st first
720 Olive next
701 Pile third
3rd Avenue bus pass
Pass asshole bus driver repeat
Two Union? That’s near 2nd & Union…right?
Right, no left. Left right?
Northwest corner of the southeast intersection
It’s the tall building yeah
The one with all the windows
On the odd side of the street
The other way…keep going
You’re almost there
Look for a white guy
About 5’10” brown hair
 What do you say to a woman with no arms and no legs? Why? because we like you
Because I can I could I did I would
It’s personal. No explanation
Because I can’t I won’t I didn’t I don’t
It’s time to pay the piper
In the world of full retail price
You win some. You win some more
You lose some. It rains It pours
Your body is a temple
My body is a bodega
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it's the little things
May 28, 2008
Trading traffic lights with a taxicab traveling 5th Avenue. As things backed up I rolled on through the red light at Spring Street and sat up, both arms in the air pointing at the sky. A victory salute worthy of a mountain-top stage finish in the Giro. The cab driver didn’t find it amusing. But it got me some cheers and a smattering of applause from a group of European tourists hanging outside the library.
And that made me smile.
And that is just one of
the little things.
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tater tots
May 27, 2008
Good evening folks,
grab a seat anywhere you’d like
It’s happy hour. Happy Hours
It aint over. It’s only just begun
There’s a shift change coming
Would you like a urinal mint?
No, I prefer urinal screens
FSN. Vs. ESPN2. TNT. CBC. ESPN. NBC
Take your eyes off that screen
Look at what you’re missing
Real life real people real disappointment
Walking away. Cashing out. Throwing in
their cards for more tomatoes on a sandwich
What percentage of the population
Never ate tater tots growing up
Moving on ask another question
Not because you’re interested in my answer
Because you want to talk about yourself
Take a shot. Call it off the glass
Rebound Ricochet Regurgitate
Suck it up or talk it up
Play it off then walk it off
Rub some dirt on it
Eliminate the middle man
break the zone full court press
Watch the pros Ditch the cons
Jettison the horseshit
Travel light no bag
Your shoulder never will get
Back to normal
Back to work
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deep woods
May 26, 2008
Another long weekend in a cell-phone-free zone. This time in the shadow of Mt. Rainier near Greenwater, Washington. Quiet, relaxing hours in the woods. Where it’s so quiet all you can hear is yourself breathing or chewing. Taking another big bite of an organic blue corn tortilla chip loaded with Clarissa’s guacamole (perhaps the finest this side of Mexico) Hanging out to celebrate Dad's birthday. What do you do when you don’t really have to do anything? If there’s nothing that has to be done you make something up. Arbitrary goals, challenges, feats of strength, games of skill. You take advantage of the resources available to you. Plenty of free time, high quality alcohol, beer and wine helps, as does sitting around in the woods among a bunch of rocks, pinecones and trees. What it all comes down to is, throwing rocks. Pick a target or build a target. Draw a line in the dirt. Game on. The Pilder Family Olympics were born. Not just brute strength, some finesse and skill were involved and a whole lot of rock throwing. 
I saw some bold wildlife. Accustomed to humans and happy to eat Cheetos or turkey havarti sandwiches or flower gardens. 
If a tree falls in the woods and you’re the only one around
Use your best judgment
If your cell phone rings in the woods
You’re not really in the woods
With a point ‘n shoot camera it’s hard to capture the epic beauty of nature, to really put it in perspective in a snapshot. Huge monumental OG trees. And waterfalls big big waterfalls. This is Snoquera Falls. 
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letting the days go by
May 22, 2008
And you may find yourself
Behind the wheel of a large automobile
And If you were born
After today’s date in
1987
I will not
Sell alcohol to you
But if you were born
After today’s date in
1987
You may not
know this song
And If you graduated
From high school in
1987
You should know better by now
And you may ask yourself
Am I right?…Am I wrong?
I won’t sell you alcohol
But I’ll give you a beer
Since 1997...
I’ve been blurring the line between
Fact and fiction
fantasy and reality
Growing up and staying young
Then and now
Too much and not enough
Pedestrian and vehicle
One Union and Two Union
Howe Street and Howell Street
12th Ave and 12th Ave East
Full-on and Half-ass
Kevin’s Mom and the babysitter
Legally drunk and buzzed
Landscape and portrait
Burn out and fade away
Rise up and Get down
Washed up and scrubbed down
Moving on and staying put
Progression and regression
Déjà vu and same shit different day
Wouldn’t want your job and wouldn’t want my job
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F B I P A
May 22, 2008
no stopping what can't be stopped one for the road
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segway
May 21, 2008
Ellen M. Banner photo Seattle Times Wednesday, do you want me to do it right or do you want me to do what you say? Client relations my ass. If I wanted to call the client I’d work in the office and make more money and gain more weight and eat more donuts. Can I put you through to her voice mail? No thanks her voicemail won’t answer my question, is there anyone there that knows anything? I’m not calling to chat I’m calling for a reason. Just so we’re clear on this, you suck. Keep track of wait time. Bad suite number, bad address, bad zip code, bad security guard, bad building directory, bad apple. I have a new healthy disrespect for School Bus Drivers. This guy is an agro unreasonable dangerous asshole who happens to be employed driving a school bus in Seattle, but because of him I will never be able to look at school busses the way I used to. One bad apple is more than enough to taint my barrel full of judgment heaped upon all. I respect school busses full of kids making stops letting kids off, picking kids up. I’m not a reckless idiot. But an empty school bus with an agro asshole driver sitting at a red light is a different story. Insert job title, sub culture, stereotype, zip code whatever…there’s a bad apple for each. Goes around. It does. Yup. There’s enough for everyone. Taking it upon yourself to educate someone on the ways of traffic, while in traffic, is a losing battle, a waste of energy. If I had 45 minutes to calmly discuss all this with the fucking agro bus driver I would have. But I was on my way to work, riding down Denny. Perhaps in his mind he was looking out for my best interests and trying to help me out by pinning me to the curb at a construction site with no sidewalk on which to bail, then trying to pin me to the other lane of traffic when I went left, then reaching out his window and trying to grab me, yelling at me and laying on the horn. Perhaps. Yeah perhaps. Bill Withers, red wine, Pinot Evil in a 3 liter box, red sauce, Land O Lakes butter, onions, garlic, mushrooms, angel hair, spicy Italian sausage, Jackson 5. Cooking dinner 3 nights per week....
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great bike ride across Iowa
May 21, 2008
60 days until RAGBRAI 425 days until the next one 
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it
May 19, 2008
Push the button wait for it
Assume the position
Get it on --- go --- get on it
Not that we’re close, just proximate
when the doors open on your floor
It’s OK to get off
Held afloat by surface tension
soap could end it
Held up by tension under the surface
Soap won’t be helping me
out with those American thighs
Muffin tops all around
All round and warm
Coffee and donuts
compliments of building management
not for messengers, NO, none for you
Fake it until you make it
Shake it don’t break it
took your mamma nine months to make it
Relatively light, floral, extremely drinkable
Doomsday IPA
You won’t see it coming
Maybe it’s better that way
my way your way anyway
Where and when?
there and then
that was that
Here and Now
this is it I'm a lowbrow but I rock a little know how Upper respiratory distress, congestion, post nasal drip and expectoration. Prolonged by sporadic physical exertion, excessive use of alcohol, dehydration, sleep deprivation and over exposure to the sun on the first hot weekend after a long chill spring.
Suggested treatment includes:
You do a little dance then you drink a little water
Eat some food
Get some sleep
Repeat
A lot
And like Milkshake said,
High quality beer in less quantity
As opposed to
Low quality beer in huge quantity give it away
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the Morgantini Case Party
May 18, 2008
 Weekend road trip to an alpine oasis. Up the road to Bellingham take a right on 542 to Glacier. A change of scenery, a change of elevation, a change in the weather. Hold on to your Nooksack, wouldn’t want to Chuckanut. Everybody’s working for the weekend.
I took zero pictures. My camera was in my pocket for about 10 minutes then I put it back in my bag. But there were many photos taken by a professional photographer and thousands taken by civilians like me. If there was a way I could link you to a streaming video compilation of the weekend, an audio slideshow featuring the highlights of the photographs with comments from friends and family. I would. Yes, I would, if I could, I surely would.
Not there to observe as much as to participate, even if I am a natural born observer that occasionally steps over the line into participation. I spent hours staring into the woods, slack jawed, listening to the birds and squirrels, beer in hand. And several more hours sitting in a lawn chair in the corner on the back porch, staring at people, slack jawed sangria in hand. I was happy to be there. And because I drank enough on Friday to get a family of four drunk for a month, I spent much of Saturday drinking water.
Snowline is a cell phone free zone, not because it’s one of their regulations, but because of the geography on the way to Mt. Baker. And that makes me smile. It’s not “I’m getting on a elevator, I’ll call you right back.” It‘s, “I’m going to Matt & Clair’s wedding I’ll call you back in two days”
And it was good. Very very good.
Family, friends, decks of cards, tether ball, tennis, ping pong, air hockey, black bears, bacon, bagels burning, trail mix, macaroni and cheese, hot tubs, ice cold vodka, ice cold raging Nooksack river, kegs of beer, beer in cans, beer in bottles, beer in pint glasses, beer in 18 packs, dark chocolate, ice water all around, rocking chairs, skipping stones, dogs off-leash, kids being kids, red wine, white wine, cheese, 10:00pm established quiet time, inside voices, an active label maker, lots o labels… a great ceremony outside on the warmest weekend we’ve had for many months. A short sweet real wedding ceremony. No bullshit. It got me all verklempt…
Antipasto, a taste...
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sharrow
May 15, 2008
The un-official no handed track stand text messaging championionship:
1st : Sebastian
2nd : Mollly
3rd : Travis 
Sharrow is a great name for a kitten.
It’s Bike to Work Day. But don’t let the calendar tell you when to ride your bike, ride your bike when you want to ride your bike. 
When a cop pulls you over the best thing to do is keep your mouth shut. But I imagine saying a few things like this:
Cop: you just ran 3 lights and went the wrong way up 7th
I don’t think of it that way officer. I think of it as easing the constipation in the bowels of the city. Getting shit done. Moving shit around. Greasing the rails of commerce. Priming the pump of capitalism.
Cop: Have you been drinking?
Yes sir. Yes sir I have, for about 22 years.
Cop: Where’s your helmet?A better question might be…At what point do we stop looking for someone to blame and start taking responsibility for our own actions? You know what I mean officer? When do we stop doing the right thing because it’s the right thing to do and start worrying only about getting caught? Did you get picked on a lot in high school?
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5150
May 14, 2008
It’s not a yes-or-no question
This is post David Lee Roth
It’s the pants
It’s the hair
It is what it is
It’s 5150 The dog’s just along for the ride
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stir it up
May 13, 2008
Bring to a boil
reduce heat
cover and simmer for 11 years I’m not your Dale Chihuly
You’re not my Yoko Ono
I’m not your Bucky
Are you my Jimmy John
I’m not your Martha Stewart
You’re not my Mike Ditka
I’m not your Frank Lloyd Wright
You’re not my Emily Dickinson
I can’t be your cloth monkey
You’re not even my wire monkey
I can be your D.B. Cooper
If you’ll be my Zola Budd
I’ll be your Bushmills
You can be my Jameson
I’ll be your garlic mashed potatoes
You can be my chili cheese fries
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elevator messenger
May 12, 2008
Hit me with your Cozen O’Connor
Bring on the Perkins Coie Monster
Let’s talk about Ryan Swanson
Let Keller Rohrback
Get down…to get up
Karr Tuttle all day long
Blankenship bro
Davis Davis Davis Wright
Perhaps the most expensive public works project in the history of the world…pound for pound, inch for inch, man for man, day by day, oh dear lord…these things I say.
The Great Wall of China, the Grand Coulee Dam, The Panama Canal, the Big Dig, The museum of trucking, carving out the grand canyon with an old toothbrush, building all the pyramids in Egypt…all that. Match any one of these up with the sidewalk reconstruction on the 4th Avenue side of the King County courthouse: man power, hours, weight, volume, delays… in relation to dollars spent, and you‘ve got a good show. It was originally scheduled to re-open a couple months ago. The latest date given for opening was today, but today it was not even close. Like I said before…how much milk can a contractor milk, if a contractor must milk milk???
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Monday Monday
May 12, 2008
Monday May 12, 1997
My first day as a bike messenger
Purple jersey Elliott Bay Messenger company
Rock Hopper front suspension bar ends
85 and sunny
Monday May 12, 2008
Another day as a bike messenger
Wool sweater Seattle Legal Messenger company
RB-2 flat bar no bullshit
55 and partly cloudy
Monday Monday
Eleven years went under the bridge
Like time was standing still it's not just May 12 it's Monday May 12
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skid road scott mathauser
May 11, 2008
What matters
What’s important
What’s worth it
What does it all mean
Everything you say will be used against you
Ride up the hill just to ride back down
Scott Mathauser Edmund Fitzgerald
Pickle Bucket Mucas Membrane
Glow-in-the-dark plastic magnetic Virgin Mary
Dark chocolate red wine cast iron skillet
Quiet rides quiet drive trains
Firm hand shakes
Fish needs bicycle
put it all together, add it up, find the connections
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A three hour tour...
May 11, 2008
Saturday May 10 the See Ya de Mayo photo scramble around town. Stops included: Cool Guy Park, Linda’s,Bimbos, the Cha Cha, The Metropolitain, The Summit, Shortys, The Athenian, The Canterbury, The Capital Grill, Safeco Field, Jimi Hendrix, Bruce Lee, Brandon Lee, Chief Seattle, Black Hole Sun, Hammering Man, and much much more. Not that I made it to all those stops.
 *** and check out RedKev’s Pics
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look up here look up here
May 9, 2008
don't cha wish your pilderwasser hot like JP 
he stuck in his thumb pulled out a plum and said what a good boy am I
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Bloomington, Indiana Pale Ale
May 8, 2008
It’s like butter It‘s like butter
Don’t worry Tom. Don’t worry Randy. Don’t worry Ron. When King County finally goes on-line in a few months and requires electronic filing, you’ll still need messengers to rush to the courthouse and deliver the attorney’s cell phone while the trial is in session, or her raincoat, or his favorite style of legal pad, jury instructions or a stack of 4' x 3' foam-core exhibits. And when the trial is over you’ll need a few messengers to schlep all that shit back to their office or at least one messenger to look for the umbrella that Jack A. Attorney left in the courtroom. 
White-lining 6th Avenue gridlock. Lanes are tight. Teal 1992 Chevy Cavalier guy I see you. Oh yeah, I see you. You make me smile. The hair on my left arm knocks the ash off your girlfriend’s Newport, but she doesn’t even notice because she’s texting and applying more and more makeup.
How ya like me now?
You say you mean well, you don't know what you mean
Fucking ought to stay the hell away from things you know nothing about
--Elliott Smith
“everybody cares, everybody understands”
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take 2 of these and call me Angel in the morning
May 8, 2008
Bret Haskins photo Take one pill, twice a day with food
Take one pilderwasser, six times a day on an empty stomach
Take it all, swallow it whole, believe the hype
Take it in the backdoor
Take it to the bank
Take it with a grain of salt
Take me to your leader
Ignore the facts
Perpetuate the stereotype
Deny the denial
May cause drowsiness
May impair the ability to recognize ability
May cause dry mouth, diarrhea or disillusionment
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they say it's your birthday
May 7, 2008
Happy Birthday to Skunk and Brad and Molly 
Stephen Cysewski photo Check out Wandering in Seattle for some great old photos
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white wainscoting
May 6, 2008
Objects in mirror aren’t even close to what they appear
To be or not to Be careful what you wish for
Be careful you’re dinging up the sheetrock
Crown molding Wainscoting Breakfast nooking soup Spooning
Valvoline Volvo Vaseline Vulva
Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
I taught your boyfriend that thing you like so much
Cowboy boots short skirts
Overalls aprons no shirts
no shoes no problem
Baker Barista Bartender
Landscaper are you a bike messenger?
working up a sweat getting hands dirty
Honest day Honest dollar
C -I -R -C -U -M -S -P -E -C -T
Find out what it means to me
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saturday
May 6, 2008
did a little dance
May 5, 2008
Haven't hit a hardball for years. Still haven't. Did a little dance, drank a little beer. 
If the batteries in your camera die after two random photos it makes it easy to choose a couple.
If you’ve had several beers it makes it easier to misjudge a fly ball deep to right field.
If the ball comes to rest in the tall grass deep in right field it makes it hard to find among the clover.
If you haven’t hit a hardball since the Reagan administration, don’t expect to get a hit with the bases loaded and two outs. (see several beers)
If you hit the ball over the fence, across the street, bouncing it off the hood of a large 4 x 4 truck (setting off the alarm) then onto the roof of a building…that’s a homerun.
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a quality of life issue
May 3, 2008
Jason Britton photo
This guy is wearing a pilderwasser T-shirt.
I'm guessing he got it at thrift store or a homeless shelter. Maybe he got it from a pile of castoffs labeled “free” outside a medium-sized apartment building on Capitol Hill. Maybe he got it from Doug Stock.
I’d like to think he bought it from me on eBay or directly through the website, paying via PayPal. Or maybe he paid full-retail for it at Counterbalance Bicycles, Wright Bros, or Second Ascent. Or that his daughter gave it to him for Christmas a few years ago after she saw a messenger wearing one like it.
Maybe he gave up his career at Microsoft, his house in Magnolia, his marriage of 27 years…he gave up all of it, got a pot leaf tattooed on his face and decided to walk the streets of Seattle and stretch out his fingers. He needs a bike.
Whatever the story of how he got into that shirt. Whatever his story…yesterday, he was angry and unreasonable and not a very personable spokesman for the pilderwasser cause.
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Any Veggie Curry...$3.99
May 2, 2008
Clowns to the left of me Clowns to the left of you too Going back into the archives. Recycling. Finding connections. Putting another pencil line on the kitchen wall growth chart ---May 2008---Learning from past mistakes. Patterns develop. Grooves begin to wear with time turning into ruts. Routes. Rote. Repeat. Habit trails. Comfort zones. Zip Codes. Relationships. Careers.
Traditionally, when May 2 falls on a Friday, beer is consumed. But there’s no need to look to tradition, convention, expectation, calendars or the behavior of the bewildered herd.
What’s that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well and needs help?
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