Junior junior would like to draw your attention to his new helmet purchased a short time earlier at a thrift store. Most people wouldn’t buy their kid a used helmet but we’re not most people and this isn’t just a helmet. He loves the shit out of this thing.
I’d like to draw your attention to the Cane Creek Direct Curve brakes on the front of Junior junior’s bike. This pair of calipers was recovered from the deepest corner of the archival milk crate storage system here at HQ. They’re the surviving pair from an IRO Rob Roy I used to know. Those brakes could tell you some old stories but now they're set up to write some new ones.
I have 20+ years experience drinking tall cans on the curb and now in these unfuckingprecedented times I’m paying major-league-baseball-type prices for a tall can that they say is OK to drink on the sidewalk ad hoc.
and I’m buying it.
I’m not swallowing it whole or drinking the Kool Aid or blind faith spreading the gospel.
When I say buying it I mean paying for it as in single handedly attempting to revive the local economy one beer at a time. Sitting in a proprietor-provided plastic lawn chair on the corner of Rainier & Ferdinand drinking a tall can. Is this some kind of joke?
They say it’s OK in phase 2 to purchase beers “to-go” As you know we’ve been purchasing beers to-go for years. Looking back on all the six-packs of tall cans purchased at all the mom&pops in the core for less than $5 this seems crazy. But I’m doing my part I guess to support the local establishments that I’d really like to see pull through this. I believe the liquor control board could have hired a few of us as consultants transitioning them through to phase 4.
I thought I saw someone moving around in the office as I was delivering their mail but it turned out to be my own reflection in the window of the locked door accessible only to authorized personnel with key card access Monday through Friday between the hours of 7am and 7pm.
The way the light reflects off the wall becomes more interesting than the wall and the writing on the wall fades as the original intent is lost in the sequence of events unfolding to create something completely unexpected.
I remember it like it was 16 years, 3 months and 15 days ago
June 19, 2020
here's a digital reproduction of the grainy photocopied printing of some of Andy Voight's photos from CMWC 2003 in Seattle as they appeared in kickstand #17. the top shot features Mr. Toothaker with what he described as the very first 520 sticker applied to that helmet. And Steve is correct the photo below is Mr Toothaker at the Dead Baby race 2004 where as you can see the helmet collected stickers for nearly a year.
the Clif bar version is: I found this old sticker yesterday and took a picture then texted it to Toothaker and he texted back the shot of that gnarly helmet.
the longwinded memory lane version will be a couple three chapters in my next-next book.
took a picture sitting in my favorite plastic lawn chair in the garage bare feet on the cool cement floor enjoying a beer and the angle of the setting sun just right hitting the cargo bike that’s collecting dust in the corner.
I could say something about steel frames or the number of links in an average chain or retrogrouch some 8-speed shifter remark or tell you some stories that remind me of a funny thing that happened the other day but I won’t at this time I’ll just leave it open for interpretation.
87 just sent me this fake fake selfie in these unfuckingprecedented times full-on see no hear no speak no mode as he knows all about Mad Fiber levels of sensory deprivation and a bit about legal messengers giving legal advice so I started to flip through the photographic memory for a triptych to put up as if I had nothing better to do and landed on this and that and as you know there is more in there but you have to draw the line somewhere in any case no collection would be complete without the clown to the left of me stoned Ronald shot one thing leads to another one way or the other and if it’s not one thing it’s another
Erik Jahnz used to constantly quiz me rhetorically…
You know what hard work gets you?
More hard work.
When we worked together as hourly legal messengers, Erik’s years of experience as a commissioned messenger made him slow the fuck down because when you're hourly it all pays the same. I still need to be reminded of this in my current role as a post-apocalyptic-electric-assist mailman as there is no difference between being a total fucktard and working hard. There is no monetary payoff for internal motivation or innate efficiency.
speaking of fucktards, once upon a time I was enjoying a tall can with Steve hiding in plain sight at 510 Pike when a cyclist rode by and flapjack yelled something at him. the cyclist quickly stopped and turned around and rolled right up to Steve and me and said “what did you say?” and we said "it wasn't us, it was that guy” and we pointed to flapjack.
I haven’t carried a U-lock for months now because there hasn’t been anyplace to stop on the way home and lock up my bike outside while I step in for a happy hour beer or three. But now in phase 1.377 there are a few places to fill up a pint glass and I might need the old ass-pocket-U-lock again.
Tom Bice used to always say kinda like Loverboy "everybody's workin for the weekend" Tom also used to say "don't start your weekend too early"
Well here I am starting my Friday about 26 hours early headed into happy hour with no U-lock. So I'll be borrowing a bike lock for a few hours.
slapped an old photo up here because I didn’t want a fake fake-selfie looking at me longer than necessary but this old shot taken with what they used to call a digital camera kinda reminds me of a fake-selfie.
reaching Mad Fiber like levels of sensory deprivation out of touch you’re soaking in it feeding the feedback loop looping aqualung post nasal drip dripping huffing your own CO2 in your own coffee morning breath makes it feel so trippy as if you’ve heard it all before because you have so see no hear no speak no all rolled into one and represented simultaneously like three little ceramic tchotchke monkey figurines it’s all you here and now test your implicit associations complicit explicit elicit whatchamacallit an ass out of you and me when I say you I mean me because the ass blows out right after you break them in and get them where you want them wearing them day in and day out until the ass blows out so please trim your zip ties neatly and then visualize Monorail Kevin and facial recognition software hardwired whiter teeth fresh breath a difficult conversation but not without a reservation bridging the gap until further notice dress rehearsal role reversal canned beer taste in a can those stars upon thars are not the answer and we have nothing to fear but underinflated footballs is it raining? ask me about Pantone 16-5101 this is my brain this is my brain on the train for 33 minutes of this unfuckingprecedented time
for about 0.667 seconds I was concerned with the price I just paid for a rather dry slice of banana bread but then I chuckled because all bets are off with full retail as any retail is good in these unfuckingprecedented times and prices are a joke because I was more concerned with the cashier’s name and wondering if it’s real or just a work name and then of course my brain went to Husker Du...
I enjoy looking back over my shoulder at the end of the day and seeing some sort of progress seeking some sense of accomplishment something I can wrap my head around especially when I can wrap my hand around it too.
I do not enjoy aluminum bikes but I do enjoy a good cheater bar.
I did not enjoy the triage of thousands upon thousands of shitty bikes.
I did enjoy refurbishing hundreds upon hundreds of the not-so-shitty ones.
Wrote that little stand alone couplet ditty 20 years ago and it still speaks to me these days rolling an electric assist bathtub or a single speed mountain bike slow and steady like along the Burke Gilman being passed by juiced up roadies with someplace to be in a hurry. I can appreciate a solid well placed snot rocket but I donít like aerosolized mucus spray.†