what was that? is that all there is? who is this? this is it.

pilderwasser unlimited T-shirts  pilder what? kickstand P know knew spew snap shots autoBIKEography RAGBRAI  slide shows phot-o-rama stationary-a-gogo 1/2 x 3/32 links

human subjects division

May 31, 2019

first things first

Jumbo baked potato

Just say no

Mutually assured destruction

Supply side economics

Trickle down theory

Trust but verify

Actor turned politician

Win win situation

Head set press

Crown race installer

Fingernail polish remover

Essential wine aerator

Crusty old messenger

Highly trained professional

Used car salesman

Child support payment

Dead beat dad

King County Superior

Law school aptitude

Old boy network

adjunct professor emeritus

in title only

Fish head soup

Tastes like chicken

Finger lickin good

Inter office memo

Extra marital affair

High school cheerleader

Naked boot leg

Left handed pitcher

Bare foot kicker

Kick return specialist

Special needs child

Plays mean pinball

New and improved

Bottle cage bolt

Video cassette recorder

Original unsigned order

Down hill coast

Talk show host

Irritable bowel syndrome

Food borne illness

Rocket propelled grenade

Night vision goggles

Post traumatic stress

Stand up base

Firm hand shake

One trick pony

Two by four

Turtle neck sweater

Lower back tattoo

Non fat decaf

Loose ball bearing

Fork or chopstick

Paper in plastic

Stone temple pilot

Full suspension disbelief

Fresh ground pepper

Breast reduction surgery

Long haul trucker

Catholic school girl

White tail deer

Ice cold beer

Other brother Daryl

Most wonderful time

Man made fiber

Open ended question

Rush hour traffic

Dexter avenue chuffer

Monday night football

rent   a cop

Dawns early light

Refined white sugar

Over stuffed chair

Stove top stuffing

Limited liability corporation

Chief executive officer

As registered agent

Tough as nails

Diamonds are forever

Nothing lasts forever

One hit wonder

Birds eye view

Old growth forest

Off shore drilling

Off street parking

Ground level retail

Just this once

Pro hac vice

Easter egg hunt

Back door pass

Shatter proof glass

shot gun wedding

Short attention span

Ground rule double

Power play goal

Personal space invader

Hand tooled leather

Back in black

On the fly

In loco parentis

Minor in possession

Open container citation

Full frontal nudity

Standing room only

Snow capped mountain

High blood pressure

Itchy trigger finger

Quality of life


this is a little list I made 2009ish as there wasn't much bike messenger work so I was always scribbling in a notebook...

...ten years later I'm delivering shit rolling around on an electric assist bathtub and the list continues. It never ends. I just get another notebook.  


human subjects division

walking the walk

talking the talk

key card access

Roosevelt Commons East

brush your teeth

national public radio

school social work

in the alley

trash strewn everywhere

office of admissions

cheap chinese shit

suspended operations makeup

speak the lingo

on the downlow

on the flipside

on the spectrum

attention deficit dyslexia

music auto sprinkler

tower mail room

honey bucket suck

take your pick

nonessential government worker

boy on phone

half your age

water front activities

intercollegiate athletics department

Portage Bay Building

under graduate library

post doctoral research

college built environments

physics astronomy building

Mark McDermott Plaza

proof of delivery

unauthorized personal mail

chemical engineering bro

Board of Regents

cost benefit analysis

risk management consultant

return on investment

shipping and receiving

Doug's coffee shop

your own cup

Husky Card Office

housing food services

applied physics lab

Life Sciences Building

Burke Gilman trail

left turn signal

full kitted roadie

on your left

what the fuck

Kirsten Wind Tunnel

Paul Allen Center

Bill Melinda Gates

Magnuson Park Brewery

North Lake Tavern

north bound train

behind yellow line

union coffee break

like fucking clockwork

trained monkey see

electric assist bathtub

fully full throttle

front wheel drive

fast as fuck

Jimmy John fast

sick skid bro

slow down joe

less is more

one breakfast burrito

road less traveled

hypotenuse through park

washed up messenger

out of retirement

rose colored glasses

Jonny Sundt's Axleys

big time laddie

Big Time Brewery

and so on





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i've seen fire and i've seen rain

May 30, 2019

just yesterday morning...rolling the Burke Gilman at 7:13am a few blocks from work and I heard a booming "pilderwasser" so I stopped and turned around in a RAGBRAI flashback and there was Ian. I knew Ian as pickle-roll-yerba-mate-pickle-juice & rum across Iowa long before I knew what Bicycle Benefits were but now I see him in random places at random times in this time zone for a few minutes every few years or so. 

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double camo drive side

May 28, 2019

when I say Dick Thurnau

you say White Center bike playground


when they said Hicks Lake

Dick said Hicklin Lake


when I say frisbee golf

my daughter says it's disc golf 

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the ubiquitous plastic keg cup

May 24, 2019

there is no fucking evite but this is an electronic reminder and please note the start time may have changed since you got your paper invitation in the mail two months ago and because I still see things in a hard copy way a printed paper cut & paste like scissors and glue way and a how will it look photocopied seventy five times way I’d like to think I could print this out and put it in an envelope and have a messenger deliver it or I could just fax it to you.  

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drip coffee

May 23, 2019

The dream is always the same... (I cannot string those words together without noting the Risky Business dream sequence)... I’m walking out of the Henry and it’s 10:23am the gallery isn’t open yet but City Grind is and in my left hand I’m holding a cup of coffee and brown bag containing two small breakfast burritos at the same time on my right index finger I’m twirling my bike keys on a AHTBM key leash much like a bored lifeguard home from college for the summer twirling his whistle on a lanyard endlessly as I ford the passing period river of undergraduates flowing to and fro I stutter step and the keys go flying off my finger on a high arcing trajectory then everything goes into slow motion and the keys soon land deep in the bushes just past the Schmitz overpass.

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bike lane shi ts

May 20, 2019

 this recent DANK bags photo brings to mind from deep in the photographic memory another second avenue bike lane shit photo bro from a simpler time when horses walked the streets, a 6-pack of tallboys was $5 and the bike lane ran in one direction

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big screen

May 18, 2019

i know a guy that'll be showing this on the big screen June 6 if he can line up enough viewers before May 26


get yourself in line here

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pollen count

May 18, 2019

some day a real rain will come and wash the pollen off the rubber baby backup bumpers on the loading dock at Meany Hall until then little light sprinkles like bike to work day rains will just swirl the pollen soup creating small patterns on surfaces that remind one of a bigger picture out there

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proper paperclip placement

May 14, 2019

took this photo a couple months ago. 

wrote those words ten years ago. 

not the spray paint, the other words.


and now that I'm a nonessential government worker it's all coming together

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fixed gear conversion virgin whack track stand

May 14, 2019

When I was your age they called it “Bike to Work Day” which in my mind translates as “honey can you pick me up after work because it might rain later day”    But now they call it “Bike Everywhere Day” or something like that. Which brings me back to this red bike, the most piece of shit bike I’ve seen in a long time. If this is your bike please don’t take it personally really riding a bike, any bike is great and it beats driving or taking an uber or riding the bus and I hope to see the proud owner of this bike cruising across campus someday because as you can see they love their bike and lock it up with not only a u-lock but two cable locks too.  I’ve seen a lot of bikes that suck and this one really really really sucks. I’ve pulled thousands of bikes out of tangled piles in donation dumpsters. I’ve seen some shit bikes but this is the cheapest possible cheap shit MSRP completely full of cost cutting measures right down to the straight seatpost the lack of bottle cage bolts and the bolt-on front hub the bottom bracket and the welded on fucking crap chainring. A bike like this retails for about $189 at walmart but it costs about $14.50 to produce in a factory in China, even less if you up your order to 10,000 units. The coaster brake allows the kid to putoff the look of a brakeless fixed gear which is hilarious because it’s so Fast Friday ago and this kid was in 1st grade back then. But in reality this bike is unsafe at any speed over 7mph. Parked on the bike rack at Atmospheric Sciences I just can’t stop staring at it and shaking my head because it’s such a piece of shit painted red as if dumping a gallon of febreeze in the alley behind the dumpster will mask the smell but it only makes the alley smell more like piss and shit and vomit with a hint of febreeze. For $189 you could buy a solid used bike at a place like Bike Works and ride it to work everyday for a long long time.


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same time different year

May 14, 2019

I prefer to take a holistic approach to my compartmentalization. This site has been up for 731 weeks or as I like to say 14 years. Since 2005 not much has changed here and not much will change.  you cannot make this site mobile friendly or download the app or do whatever the kids are doing these days while they stare at their phones.

Some things however have changed out there on earth and they're growing like weeds. 

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Happy Mother's Day

May 12, 2019

May 12, 1997

May 9, 2019

traditionally when May 12 falls on a Sunday the video will post on the Friday before


22 years plus or minus 3 days

22 years plus or minus 3 degrees Fahrenheit 


22 years plus or minus a profile design bottle cage

22 years plus or minus or something like that


22 years and nothing to talk about but the weather 

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rookie strap

May 9, 2019

two Jimmy Johns walk into a bar

only they're not walking   they're running

and they bump into an old lady

only it's not an old lady, it's Flapjack

and he says


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it's still a quality of life issue

May 8, 2019

little plastic wrappers on the little plastic straws on the little plastic juice pouches

May 6, 2019

recently I’ve been noticing piles and piles of spent toner cartridges stashed in the corners and closets within the seedy underbelly of the large education factory that I roll around most weekdays. But the other day I stayed at the house of a friend’s friend and in the morning had a convenient cup of coffee and since then I’ve been visualizing thousands of kiddie pools filled with cashed keurig k-cup pods in a seemingly endless variety. I know it’s just a drop in the bucket just a scratch on the surface of the tip of the iceberg of our insatiable appetite for shipping containers full of plastic shit from China. If in one weekend visit I burned through four of those cute little fucking pods pulling the spent one and chucking it in the garbage only to  replace it with the promise of a fresh clean convenient pod… ...what if I stayed at the friend’s friend’s house and saved them up for one year in kiddie pools in their backyard? How about 5 years? Just one little tangible indicator of consumption. Like toner cartridges tossed aside by 80,000 students, faculty and staff. And they say we’re moving towards being a paperless society. Yeah right, and the fax machine will kill the bike messenger. Or how about how the fucking mountains of styrofoam coolers and packing material those guys at molecular engineering collect reminds me to remind you to ask those guys down at DANK bags about their 6-pack ring collection.


Don’t get me wrong I’m not claiming to be some kind of green guru environmental expert on recycling or something or anything or something I’m just noticing things. Ask me about disposable diapers and asswipes and how anything that says “flushable” is not even close to ok to flush.  I drink a lot of coffee and sometimes I use a reusable cup. I drink a lot of beer so I have a kegerator but not because I’m worried about saving the earth. Finally, in closing,  I ride a ride a bike but not for environmental reasons, it just makes sense.

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May 2, 2019

Shaggy photo

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