what was that? is that all there is? who is this? this is it.

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head cheese spread sheet repeat

January 29, 2021

I thought I saw another human but it turned out to be my own reflection in the window of the locked down empty building I was delivering to. 

 

I know I’ve said that before but it bears repeating like a recurring dream or theme or theme song or mantra. barely audible mumbles. repeat as needed. repeated repeatedly. repeating repeatedly. been there. done that. same undular bore six months later under six more layers of clothing.  head cheese spread sheet repeat. 

 

I thought I saw another human but it turned out to be my own reflection in the window of the locked down empty building I was delivering to. 

 


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two Jesi walk into a bar 2021

January 27, 2021

if the mailman attempts to deliver a package to an empty office on Monday and Tuesday will he try again on Wednesday and Thursday? 

 

that’s alright

that’s ok

there’s no one in there anyway

 

until even fucking further notice (UEFFN)

 

Phase 1

Phase 2

this isn't just a phase 

we’re  going  through

 

that’s not my belly button

that’s not my finger

 

Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn’t fuzzy   was he

 

two Jesi walk into a bar...

 

the bartender says “who the fuck are you guys? don’t give me your tired your poor your huddled masses of Jesus plural”

 

the reality we perceive does not exist until observed

 

or something like that or something

 


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illegible leg warmer logos align

January 26, 2021

 

Looking at all the layers of clothing piled up on the floor at 5:30 am is so surreal so ridiculous so comical that it can’t be depressing that load of laundry left there last night after one winter day of working as a post apocalyptic electric assist mailman and now I’m putting it all back on. I never really cared which way the Pearl Izumi logos pointed but the fact that 87 still gives that shit his full attention makes me smile as I pull on yet another layer. the logos on my leg warmers are barely legible and they never line up.  

 

is it raining? 

 

JR had his logos lined up


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i met a non-dairy creamer

January 25, 2021

to Chemical Engineering I delivered this case of 200 Coffee Mate creamers contained in cute little 11 ml plastic cuppies destined for the landfill sooner and or later.  I’d like to think that someone’s up in there doing something chem E related to that corn syrup soybean shit but the truth is it’s going into some crusty old timer's crusty old coffee cup.  

 

pull up a chair and postup somewhere on the coffee-beer continuum but please don’t put that shit in your coffee. sitting in the same seat 12 hours apart once for coffee once for beer once more for coffee and beer like clockwork like.  you can set your watch by it kinda like my coffee pot plugged in on top of the kegerator. what time is it? what day is it? same shit different drink. same drink different day. same day different drink. same bench different coozie. same coffee cup but that's not coffee bro. 

 

reminds me of that good old first-stop-in-the-morning-was-your-last-stop-last-night routine.  reminds me of a Perkins Coie vs podunk lawyer rush round trip signature coffee story. reminds me always and forever of GBV. 

 


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you could take the stairs

January 25, 2021

with 100lbs of bird seed and some toner cartridges the freight elevator makes more sense


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baby bird

January 21, 2021

just got home from a Cave Singers show but it was in my basement and I was the only one there so I guess I never left never went anywhere never say never whatever my friend Cat told me about the show so I clicked in and it was good sincerely for real really heavily sponsored on youtube live it was and perhaps someday it will replay so you too can live it live later

 


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wednesday is a whacking day

January 20, 2021

the average person swallows one quart of mucus every day


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it's my friday

January 15, 2021

 

for the record I have no recollection of the events in question and without sufficient information I can neither confirm nor deny any allegations. but sincerely for real really I have a pretty good memory and that’s the same coozie different year (2007 & 2021) same coozie much more expensive beer.  today's my friday and I can hear Tom Bice saying, “don’t start your weekend too early” after he quotes Loverboy’s Working for the Weekend 


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switcheroo

January 14, 2021

I keep doing the same thing over and over

but I'm not expecting different results

android   vs   iphone

same switch plate

different day

 


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messenger ribonucleic acid (mRNA)

January 13, 2021

two bike messengers walk into a bar 

 

the bartender says, “that’s $33.69 (for a six pack of tall cans) and you can’t drink em here” 

two double-blind placebo-controlled messenger RNA walk into a bar

 

the bartender says, “no covid jokes bro”

two bike messengers try to walk into a bar

but it's closed

until further notice


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front suspension of disbelief

January 13, 2021

bovine balloons bro

January 10, 2021

a helium filled alien bovine balloon invaded this thrift store t-shirt where the grass isn’t always greener because it’s orange whip? orange whip? three orange whips and no wire hangers bro unless it’s in the silkscreen department of redundancy department where i have 21 black t-shirts and 3 orange ones and that big big 3 iron-on was already ironed-on by the previous owner when i hastily ad-hoc’d the orange whips this became my favorite t-shirt but y'all won’t see it anyway until st patricks day because it’s buried under 5 layers of clothing    is it raining?  

 


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here's what to do

January 8, 2021

PLEASE STAY BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE

removes 10 years of yellow stains*

 

*when ridden twice a day 

for four weeks

 

for twelve months 

for three years 

 

same train 

different day

 

DOORS TO MY LEFT

DOORS TO MY RIGHT

 

stand up     sit down

see  a  little  light @@@

 

DO NOT HOLD THE DOORS

HOLDING DOORS DELAYS TRAINS FOR ALL RIDERS

 


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big time time

January 6, 2021

one tall can for me

one      giant      hole

in the local economy

 

 

 

everything's fucked

have a beer

a  Big Time  beer:

 

Return of the Fist IPA - "Through the challenging times that we face in our lives we have to dig down deep and find a way to persevere. A way to change and be better. We cannot do this alone and we cannot rely on someone else to do it. The struggles are daily and they are real. Together we can make the change we need. Brewed with SVM Copeland Pale, GW 2-row- and Munich malts. Hopped with Amarillo, Comet, and Cascade. This beer is full bodied with the bitterness to back it up. Notes that are floral, spicy, and citrusy. $1 from every pint will be donated to ACLU. This beer also represents a battle that our owner Rick has been fighting after an accident where he lost two fingers on his right hand. After almost a two year struggle, he can finally make a fist again. Demonstrating what hard work and never giving up can accomplish. So raise a fist, raise a pint, and help us raise money for ACLU. 6.8% 60 IBUs"

 


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waiting for sedation to disconnect my head

January 5, 2021

I know a guy that once said more than once:

 

“find what works and wear it into the ground”

 

This has kinda sorta been my philosophy on clothing as well as bike parts and or bike clothing and bike maintenance too.  There’s some trial and error in there and learning from experience.  The ensemble or getup I wear to work every day is 90% thrift store scores that have taken a while to accumulate sprinkled with a few key new items. Multiple layers in the winter and dependable things year round. When I was an Elliott Bay Messenger I had a polypro long sleeve baselayer that I wore until the entire back wore out to nothing at all. I ignored the threadbare patches until it just fell apart.  I still have a pair of double front tights that I had when I worked downtown over 10 years ago. When I find something that works I wear the shit out of it until I can’t wear it anymore and then I have a hard time finding suitable replacements. 

 

I don't believe you can just walk into REI and purchase the perfect outfit. I'm sure you've seen those that try. Just as you cannot replicate the smell of a messenger. Authenticity is earned. 

 

I’m in the process of ordering my 4th Double Darn cap. I prefer the Hunter Cap in an understated dark thin winter wool which works 9.5 months out of the year here in Seattle. A cotton cap is great for the Seattle summers.  My current Double Darn cap has been worn day-in-day-out so much that my helmet has worn a hole in the forehead. 

 

Misia makes a fine cap. She can custom make them too if you have a big head like me. My old lady has a couple Double Darns and Junior Junior and Junior have been through a few too. 


 


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wheel base jump

January 1, 2021

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