really? really
September 30, 2010
A hard-working Mayberry Police officer issued a citation to a scofflaw waitress for not wearing her helmet.
A part-time waitress riding her old Bianchi to work this morning on a quiet residential street in the Central District was “pulled-over” by a $90,000 salaried Seattle Cop collecting double overtime to stand around and wait for a funeral procession outside a quiet Catholic church.
In other news...
Alberto Contador claims tainted meat, Spanish beef in fact, was the reason he tested positive for a banned substance in this years Tour de France
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green paint
September 29, 2010
Seattle is painting a few bike boxes around town in its latest attempt to catch up to Portland in the realm of transportation planning. I think it’s a step in the right direction to encourage more people to get out of their cars and get out on their bikes. However the false confidence that bike lanes often inspire in newbies and chuffers is just going to be bolstered by these green bike boxes. Flow is what occurs when an experienced urban cyclist rides through traffic blurring the lines between vehicular cycling and total disregard for the law. I don’t believe you can legislate everything by holding some hands and slapping some wrists. Painting lines on the street won’t create flow. I'm guessing it will create confusion. Flow takes a while to learn and it has to be earned. Robert Hurst explains urban cycling as well as anyone. Dave Hiller has some things to say too. And I bet John Forester is laughing so hard he's crying and he wouldn’t even like riding a bike in Portland.
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the right tool for the job
September 28, 2010
sometimes there’s a
subtle sense that something
is not quite right
on a slow grind up the hill
I catch an eye catching silver sliver
glint of late September sunshine
reflecting off curly cue strands of steel
sprouting near the bottom bracket
the look
the feel
the sound
of threads stripping
the smell of metal fatigue
7th grade shop class reminiscent
it’s a long walk home
in these shoes with
time to think of
loose balls
crank arm extractors
jerry-rigged Italian BB setups
multi-purpose marine grease
power to weight ratios
and wait
phone rings
caller ID reads J-B WELD
Who is this?
This is it.
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What Would Jobst Do? (WWJD)
September 27, 2010
reinventing the wheel
right here in Seattle
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why ask why
September 26, 2010
increasing gas prices
outrageous insurance premiums
irreversible damage to the environment
unlike
brown paper packages tied up with string
these are a few of my least favorite things
but
they are not
why I ride a bike
their absence from consciousness
is just a beneficial side effect
an unintended consequence
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left shoulder - right shoulder
September 24, 2010
exothermic knee jerk allergic reaction
September 24, 2010
peek-a-boo view
September 23, 2010
fight or flight
is that all there is
everything Randy’s for a reason
so thank you
oh no no thank you but no thanks
peek-a-boo view
nothing but blue
skies sitting on a park bench
with Pete and Repeat
Pete always seems to fall off
who’s left
right
herky-jerky AD/HD
like a hyperlink casserole whipped up (scroll down)
out of the saddle deep in the drops
but your bike is stationary
you’re just a machine
robot pimped
riding on a hamster wheel
digging ditches daily
getting that dirt out of the boss’s ditch
time and time again
time out
take a moment to look back
admire the progress
hope you’ll be missed
hope it rains everyday
hard-on the guy that gets your job
like the ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend
jealous see sour grapes
jelly toast burnt
neural pathways entrenched
Seneca Street muscle memory
copy Perkins Davis Foster Garvey
repeat as often as necessary
fight or flight
is that all there is
everything Randy‘s for a reason
so thank you
oh no no thank you but no thanks
peek-a-boo view
nothing but blue
skies sitting on a park bench
with Pete and Repeat
Pete always seems to fall off
who‘s left
right
herky-jerky AD/HD
like a hyperlink casserole whipped up
out of the saddle deep in the drops
but your bike is stationary
you’re just a machine
robot pimped
riding on a hamster wheel
digging ditches daily
getting that dirt out of the boss’s ditch
time and time again
time out
take a moment to look back
admire the progress
hope you’ll be missed
hope it rains everyday
hard-on the guy that gets your job
like the ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend
jealous see sour grapes
jelly toast burnt
neural pathways entrenched
Seneca Street muscle memory
copy Perkins Davis Foster Garvey
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and the cow jumped over the moon
September 22, 2010
a worn out copy of Catcher in the Rye
September 21, 2010
in other news
September 20, 2010
the one the only
single speed cyclocross world championship
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sucked into slippery S.L.U.T. tracks
September 19, 2010
done-done done
pushing the river
one… two…
one too many times
serving up heaping helpings of
warmed-over vanilla complacency
middle-of-the-road pedestrian
jaywalking weakly
time clocking weekly
day after day after day after day
dainty pinky paper cuts
got all the attention
while major arteries were hemorrhaging
used up boxes of band-aids
but a tourniquet wouldn’t fix it
smiling the smile of short-term solutions
poking a finger in the leak du jour
until another popped up over there
pointing fingers let’s not go there
argumentum ad hominem
personal attacks
invite playground comebacks
I know you are but what am I
there are no good guys
there are no bad guys
only blue eyes and brown eyes
and horseshit everywhere
immediate package delivery
two hours early
two minutes late
it all paid the same
it all got too easy
pre-existing conditions
provided strong foundations
upon which to build-in handicaps
the 90-day waiting period
turned into 12 years
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hose clamped pickle bucket milk crate
September 17, 2010
Ask me about my inner chuffer
Ask me about home-made fenders
Ask me about a helmet-mount mirror
Ask me Ask me Ask me
But not like Morrissey
more like Dexter Avenue warriors
When I say “me” I mean me
Ask me about the seamless transition
from messenger to chuffer
Ask me about job opportunities at Ogden Murphy
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zoned for commercial use
September 15, 2010
moving forward
left to write
wrong or right
this way or this way
they say you can’t become a troll
you’re just born that way
but I don’t want to go down that road
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if I leave here tomorrow
September 14, 2010
cycle messenger World Champion
September 13, 2010
wednesday
September 12, 2010
at close range
on the final blinking blink of
the DONT WALK signal
made it by a mile
check it out buy the book
cannot win them all
playing by the rules
playing by the book
skirting grey area
day after day
until one day
it’s all red dress
like Wednesday
except
the other way
around
that point somewhere
past the midpoint
where the weight of what was
pulls harder than what will be
twelve-packs turn to half empty
bananas turn brown and squishy
calendars turn top heavy
when it’s time to turn the page
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knock knock
September 11, 2010
RCW 70.160.075
September 10, 2010
so much chuffer so close to home
September 9, 2010
to boldly go
where herds have gone before
set phases to trend
lather rinse repeat
it’s like so yesterday ago
it’s like this and like that and
like this too shall pass
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objects in mirror are closer than they appear
September 8, 2010
what's that smell?
September 7, 2010
reduce
re use
recycle
return to your cubicle
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manual Labor intensive Day off
September 6, 2010
less salvation more salivation
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if a tree falling in the woods is reflected in a friend's sunglasses, does it make a sound?
September 3, 2010
The Active Voice Building
September 2, 2010
sitting in the window seat
slack jaw staring endlessly
at the scenery
apparently
actually
looking at a laptop
streaming live video
from a camera mounted
just outside the window
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you put your head in and you shake it all about
September 2, 2010
poor little mixte
stripped of its cranks
front wheel was first to go
symbolically representational smells like
piss poor poetry perfect placement project
abandoned building stalled in this economy
as worthless as last year’s J Crew catalog
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100% Not Cotton
September 1, 2010
Today is the day
This is it really and
This time it’s for real
Today is the day
To try the same thing
and expect different results
Second guessing wardrobe decisions within six blocks of home and nine more hours of work to ride out is not a worthwhile pastime. However it is completely normal on a wet 53° Tuesday still stuck in the context of summer and orbiting the promise of Labor Day weekend like a lawn chair left in the rain representing what might have been but still hoping for what could be.
Can’t you smell that smell? Sitting standing by leaving wet spots on office building lobby furniture like soaked diaper prints spiced with road grime and unable to isolate the precise location of the odor but well aware of the smell of several months of sweet saved-up sweat unleashed by heavy rains from shoes, hats, helmets and bags especially the shoulder strap padding on dank DANK bags.
Thanks, I’ll take the next elevator… …except at One Union.
In Seattle, Tuesday could have been in February or November or April or August.
Made it through August with no fenders. Not because I didn’t need them but because it was another arbitrary goal to set and achieve looking only to the calendar and not to the weather. Like refusing to turn on the furnace until Halloween, Like not wearing gloves until November. Like not installing a front fender until December.
It’s important to have goals.
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