what was that? is that all there is? who is this? this is it.

High  Plains  Drifter

down   tube   shifter

Winona  shop  lifter 

When you say High Plains Drifter, I say Beastie Boys. After a while I might say Clint Eastwood. But never ever would I say Kirk Hammett. 

When you say Down Tube Shifter, I say YES.  

When you say Winona Ryder, I say shoplifter.  After a while I might say Reality Bites or Edward ScissorHands. 

One day among the days that all seem to blend together in the daze that blends it all together, I was on the loading dock that’s spitting distance from the Pacific Northwest Seismic Network HQ  loading and unloading Amazon boxes from the electric ass bathtub I was Mr McFeely-hamster-wheelie-final-fifty-fucking-feeting.

Some people call that loading dock 3920 Okanogan Lane NE. Some people call me Maurice. I call that loading dock MOLES with a side of ATG. 

One of the PNSN guys was loading up his truck with what I like to think of as Sasquatch Surveillance equipment. If anyone is going to spot Bigfoot out there in situ, those guys are. As I was getting back on the bathtub the PNSN guy said “LoLo” and I guess he was speaking in my direction. But I was all the way down Okanogan Lane before I realized what he was talking about. I chuckled to myself thinking maybe someday I can talk Zero-Sevens with that guy. I’m surprised he could read the digits on my hand from 15 feet away.  

When I got the tattoo, Joe Who  the tattoo guru said “don’t you just want to go...

got my hands on some fresh black paint and some kick ass spray adhesive and now Bret’s crows from ABQ are once again popping up on projects and postcards and flying into  zipcodes here & there 

clockwork

right on time

starting out

each morning

pushing the

giant rock

uphill 

all day

every day

movement        yes

accomplishment?

maybe               but

never quite 

achieving the top

upon quitting time

looking    back 

to watch the rock

roll down the hill

and  come  to  rest

right where it started

ready for the next day

repeat

falling 

well within 

known parameters

easy to lump in 

with all the rest

stereotypical

neurotypical

oh so typical

repeat

1,000 possible permutations

to a 3 digit number

17,576 permutations 

to a 3 letter word

run the numbers

repetition

is not only allowed

it’s expected 

it’s built in

it’s groundhog day

electric ass bathtub

mail man McFeely

hamster wheelie

S i s y p h e a n

treadmilling

margins of

futility

repeat

rock 

that 

rock

repeat

The other other day I showed that urinal photo to a UW plumber on the train ride home in a have-you-ever-seen-such-a-sight-in-your-life kind of way. It’s the Schmitz Hall 2nd floor men’s room by the way. He laughed and quoted me building code center-to-center urinal installation measurements. That Schmitz setup is a joke, like a bad piss joke punchline. As we were talking urinals, the 5 Point periscope came up and another train passenger jumped right in telling us he replaced the roof on the 5 Point many years ago and earned free meals for a long while as interest payments on his delayed roofing job payments.  The 5 Point is legit real deal Seattle history and this guy let me know it all the way to Beacon Hill. 

no eyed deer

I only visited The 5 Point a few times. But it brings up a certain memory that lingers somewhere in my phantom nostalgia syndrome, all these years later. The lingering memory does not surprise me. But I’m amazed I was able to find these photos to back it up.

I was just beginning my morning routine of legal messenger deliveries at 2101 4th. When these two...

“You’re doing it wrong”  

–Steve Young

“You put your right foot in. You put your right foot out. You put your right foot in and you shake it all about”

–Hokey Pokey

“You’re the one telling them how it is”

–Tom Bice

“You got it. Yeah, you got it. So what? Keep it outta my face”

–Mudhoney “you got it”

“You’re making us all look bad”

–that lady on a bike, you know the one

“You are a cheater, you are too fireproof. You are fireproof. I am a smoky plume I am”

–Thao & the get down stay down “geography”

“You should google me, I’m kind of a big deal” 

–Jonny Sundt

“You drank yourself into slo-mo. Made an angel in the snow”

–Elliott Smith “clementine”

“You must have mistaken me for someone who gives a shit” 

–pilder

“You better do what you’re told. When I get back this room better be picked up. Car wheels on a gravel road” 

–Lucinda Williams 

“You know what hard work gets you?  More hard work.”

–Erik Jahnz

“You don’t know how it feels, to be me”

–Tom Petty

"You look...

The plus or minus 1.67mm of Rainier Can protruding wrapping enveloping circulating cascading visibly is no sloppy oversight. It’s out there to let you know that I know that you know that I shimmed it out with a beer can. 

this Ritchey Force stem brings me joy NITTO going forth with whatever handlebar needs that need to be handled

bringing even more joy than the Ritchey Logic cranks which we can talk about on another day

As I’ve ridden this SHOGUN to work for two days in a row now onto day three. On an odometer that’s like 9 miles. As the crow flies with the bike along for all the train rides, that’s like 90 miles. Either way. Anyway. It’s a lugged steel single speed circa 1987. As heavy as the day is long.  Cadillac smooth 27” wheels on the downhills. Cadillac heavy everything adding up on the uphills. 

Compromise. 

In your eyes. 

The light the heat. 

I am complete. 

Just yesterday Junior Junior took a moment to remind me of a few things:

there are 8 billion people on Earth

Baby Shark has 15 billion views 

1 billion = 1000 million

1 million seconds = 11 days

1 billion seconds = 31 YEARS

Elon Musk = 343 BILLION dollar$

Out beyond ideas of

wrongdoing and rightdoing

there is a field. 

I'll meet you there. 

--Rumi

Near the edge of town

there's a beer store

with a shade tree out back

I'll meet you there

--pilderwasser